Monday, November 28, 2011

What Kind of Man is Right for You?

    Having one daughter is a bit scary; having three . . . well, that's terrifying.  I hope they'll each marry a good man who's hardworking and kind.  But it's hard to know what will happen.  The Scribe has a knack for liking "winners."
    I'm sure she'll pick wisely when the time comes.  As for now though, the boys she likes might be trouble.
    Do you remember this story?

The Scribe's Blog Backfired

    Seriously, that kid was determined to have a boyfriend.  Things turned sour, and apparently she dated a boy, then broke up with him.  Now I'm paying the price because I'm getting pranked by a boy in a band.
    A mere blog wouldn't do this justice.  I wanted you to hear the messages for yourself.  Keep in mind, this kid is in fourth grade.  I'm shocked that he would call someone and talk about these things.  Call me a prude--a surprised prude--some nine-year-olds must know more than I'd suspected.    

   The dialogue is below the video in case it's hard to hear.

My notes are in white.

Me: We're here today to tell you about some very funny phone calls the Scribe has been getting.  They are crazy.  
   Well, here's the first one so you can hear how silly it is.

Voice mail: Saved message.

Boy from the Scribe's school (plugging his nose): I need to give the Scribe a message.  You know how you came into Build a Bra?  Build a Bra--that was witty (like Build a Bear), but why is he talking about bras?  Maybe I'll understand when the Zombie Elf is older.  Umm . . . you bought like ten bras.  K.  They're in, so you have to pay us thirty-five dollars.  Are you aware of that, 'cause I thought you were.
    So, yeah, pay us thirty-five dollars.  Call me back when you have the chance.  (This is my FAVORITE part of the phone call; listen to him backpedal.)  Umm . . . Actually, don't call me back.  
    'Cause . . . 
    'Cause we can't reach your call or messages.  K.  
    'Cause you . . . 
    just . . . got . . . pranked.  Thank you very much.  Bye bye.

Me: So that was the first of the phone calls.  Do you have anyting to say about that Scribe?

The Scribe: That was my ex-boyfriend.

Me: And why do you have an ex-boyfriend?

The Scribe:  I don't know.  I guess I was just young and stupid.

Me:  How young were you?

The Scribe: Second grade.

Me:  And what are you drawing here?

The Scribe:  I have no idea.  I'm trying to draw this little guy.

Me:  That's awesome.  Are you excited for Fishducky to see this?

The Scribe:  Yes, because I like this guy.  Isn't he cute?!

Me:  All right, we're going to listen to this other call.

Voice mail: Saved message.

The Second Grade Ex:  I just want to apologize for prank calling.  I know this is just a message, and I hope you're the kind of people who actually listen to their messages.  I'm not trying to make fun of you or anything, but some people don't even listen to their messages.
    One second . . . Cody!  Cody, stop talking to me.  Look in the mirror you tard!  
    Sorry about that, I don't think you even know Cody.  
    Shut up!
    Sorry about that.  Anyway, you know who this is.  If you get this message, please call me back.  I'm sorry for prank calling.

Me:  So this guy, I'm thinking, is not the kind of guy that the Scribe wants to marry.  But he is in a band.  Is that right?

Scribe:  Yep.  He plays the electric guitar.

Me:  Boy, and how old is he?  Ten?

Scribe:  Nine.  His birthday's in December like mine.

Me:  Wow.  Well, thanks for letting us share this part of your life Scribe.  And thanks for joining me on . . . EC Writes.

Scribe:  I am?

Me:  Yep.  Say "goodbye."

Scribe:  Goodbye.  See ya later!

    So, in closing, what types of people do you think your children will marry?  If you don't have kids yet, are you nervous about the people your siblings will marry?