Thursday, September 15, 2011

Words = Power!!!

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    Recently I've found the pleasure of using large words.  Quite the conundrum I know, but it's awesome anyway!  I don't even have to know the meanings or the spellings, just simply . . . the pronunciation.  
    As long as you don't say it with pomposity and the word is big enough, most people won't know what the Hell you're saying.  But those people--those mere mortals usually WILL act like they know the word.  
    I've seen it time and time again.  They'll nod sheepishly, following up with a rather large word of their own--those people remind me of pure, unadulterated fantasticalness. (Which is a real word, by the way, but most people don't know that, so I wouldn't use it if I were you . . . some real words will just make you look like an idiot.) 
   Back to the point.  After you've used a massive word, your listening audience, may nod acquiescently, too bad they have NO IDEA you've used your own word incorrectly! Ha ha!
    Plus, some things aren't worth arguing because they just don't make sense, like this picture:

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Seriously, can someone tell me what is going on?
Is this like a dog cone, but for a human?
I'm confused.

    But really, big words are a great way of weeding out liars too.  See how crafty you can be with a thesaurus at your side?  I'd like you to try this; use a big word and see one of these many responses:


    An eyebrow raise means:  Wow, the person you're talking to, didn't think you were that smart.


    A pale flush:  They feel they've been bested.  How jealous can imbeciles be?


    A double-blink:  They doubt you now--AND ALWAYS HAVE--what jerks!


    If they actually correct you:  They are an insensitive meanie-face--vexatious and scurrilous--don't they know that's rude?! 

    If they stare at your beasts: Call 9-1-1 because you're with a pervert.


    And finally . . . if they utter their own, improperly used word: Dub them a friend for life and give them some vodka.


    Is there anything you'd like to add . . . oh and please tell me what is going on in that picture!