Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What is Hump Day?

    Today, Wednesday is hump day.  We all need to get over this "hump" in the week; that's why I thought my story of the day should be about a dog with . . . problems.

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    Most male dogs have issues with excessive humping.  Once they're fixed, one hopes the problem will fade away like a bad fart, but that's not always the case.  In fact, I've heard that if a dog isn't "nut"ered before their sixth month birthday, the problem will persist.
    So, my youngest aunt, who's actually quite close to my age, has a dog with problems.  You can't walk into her house without being ATTACKED.  The dog is huge, bigger than Jonah's whale, and I don't appreciate getting assaulted every time I go over there.  It's one thing for a little dog to act that way, but when a dog weighs as much as I do, chances are, I'll fall to the ground and have a tough time getting away.  
    I don't want to go into further details, just know, it's quite embarrassing at family functions! 

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    Anyway, the last time I got knocked to my complete doom, I shouted, "Auntie!  What is wrong with your dog?"
    We sat down for coffee after she herded her giant out of the patio door.  "Well, it's a hard story to tell."
    I sipped my coffee, wiped the dog drool from my face and clutched after EVERY word.  "And . . ."
    "Well, I brought Lucy to a kennel.  It was a cheap kennel; the price alone should have been a red flag.  But I was going on vacation and I wanted to save some money."
    I'd never seen my Aunt act like that.  What in the world had the kennel workers done to her dog?  I blinked hard because I hate animal abuse! 
    My Aunt continued.  "Lucy went to the place, and when I got back home, she had problems.  I think the low income dogs at the kennel . . . " She took a deep breath.  "I think those mutts took advantage of  my Lucy.  She's been acting like this . . . like a harlot ever since."
    I nearly choked on my coffee.  "And you don't think it was consensual?"
    "Absolutely not!"  She sat up straight, visibly offended. 
    "But Lucy is a dog.  I mean, aren't all things like that, consensual with dogs?"
    She shook her head.  "Not with my Lucy!  She's been fixed for years.  She never dreamed of acting like this until I brought her to that kennel!"

    So, I decided to have a guest interview about this pressing matter.  I interviewed Cade's gorgeous, sweet cousin.  
    Now, as you watch this, keep in mind, Cade's cousin had NO IDEA about the vlog topic I'd chosen.  I love her reaction to the question.  She is sooo much fun!


    What do you think?  Was Lucy a consensual dog?