Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Artists Love Brownies

    Yesterday, The Zombie Elf asked to eat a brownie for breakfast.  Although it was a holiday, I became a drill sergeant and said, "No.  Eat your cereal."  I'd worked very hard to prepare that cereal!


    He frowned, shook his little head--as if he knows more than I do--and ate his cereal. 
    The whole time he ate, he mumbled about brownies and how wonderful they are.  In that moment, he would have made a perfect Gollum coveting Sauron's ring.      
    Just as The Zombie finished his cereal, he moved like a boomerang whooshing near me again and again.  "Brownie now?  I want a brownie."
    "Why?" I asked.
    "'Cause brownies make me draw good."
    That was interesting logic.  Leonardo da Vinci must have eaten brownies all day and night!
    But, The Zombie Elf had finally won me over.  I gave him a HUGE brownie (after all he is my boy).  Then the kid shocked me.  Instead of eating it, he just stared, like Octavia (the one who likes Telekinesis)
    I watched him for a while, but he stayed motionless.  So, I turned on my computer and did some very important things . . . I blogged.
     Now evil must have entered the house at that moment.  The kitchen was quiet, far too quiet.  After you're a mother, silence becomes a terrible thing.  
    Once I finished checking my favorite blogs, I tip-toed into the kitchen, and then I screamed.
    Have you ever seen a horror flick?  You know something bad is coming, but you don't know what.  
    When I looked at the kitchen walls, I was the one to stare, too dumbfounded by the power of brownies.
    "What have you done?" I whimpered to The Zombie Elf.
    "I drawed," he said.  "Brownies make me draw."
    I turned to the wall.  My arms hung limp.  My face sagged with hatred for sweets.  He hadn't eaten the peanut butter brownies!  No . . . he hadn't eaten one bite!  Instead, he'd finger-painted a tasty picture on the wall.
    Brown swirls went everywhere.  Chocolate, peanut butter and walnuts dotted the walls!  It looked like a chocolate vat had detonated, and then exploded in my kitchen.
    "Do you have any idea how hard this will be to clean up."
    "No," he said.  "Cleaning up is fun.  It's more fun than drawing.  I love brownies."
    "That's it!  I'm getting Daddy."  I stomped from the room because I'm a mother and I've gotten good at stomping.
    "Daddy?" The Zombie actually quivered.  "Don't get Daddy.  He doesn't like brownie drawings."
    "I'm getting him," I said.
    "Mama, I'll clean fast."
    Why is it that when I saw the brownies, it wasn't a big deal?  But he'd clean the mess for Daddy?  Ug!
    I grabbed Cade and told him the whole story.  When we finally finished talking and rounded the kitchen corner, The Zombie Elf had brownie ALL over his face.  
    The Zombie Elf smiled in a way only Zombies can.  "See," he said.  "I'm good.  Brownies are fun to draw with and to clean."
    He leaned over, stuck out his tongue, and licked the wall.  "See?  Fun." 
   Cade gaped, but I nearly fell over with laughter.  
   It was the best painting ever!

    So, back to the point.  What do you think; do all artists eat brownies?