Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Artists Love Brownies

    Yesterday, The Zombie Elf asked to eat a brownie for breakfast.  Although it was a holiday, I became a drill sergeant and said, "No.  Eat your cereal."  I'd worked very hard to prepare that cereal!


    He frowned, shook his little head--as if he knows more than I do--and ate his cereal. 
    The whole time he ate, he mumbled about brownies and how wonderful they are.  In that moment, he would have made a perfect Gollum coveting Sauron's ring.      
    Just as The Zombie finished his cereal, he moved like a boomerang whooshing near me again and again.  "Brownie now?  I want a brownie."
    "Why?" I asked.
    "'Cause brownies make me draw good."
    That was interesting logic.  Leonardo da Vinci must have eaten brownies all day and night!
    But, The Zombie Elf had finally won me over.  I gave him a HUGE brownie (after all he is my boy).  Then the kid shocked me.  Instead of eating it, he just stared, like Octavia (the one who likes Telekinesis)
    I watched him for a while, but he stayed motionless.  So, I turned on my computer and did some very important things . . . I blogged.
     Now evil must have entered the house at that moment.  The kitchen was quiet, far too quiet.  After you're a mother, silence becomes a terrible thing.  
    Once I finished checking my favorite blogs, I tip-toed into the kitchen, and then I screamed.
    Have you ever seen a horror flick?  You know something bad is coming, but you don't know what.  
    When I looked at the kitchen walls, I was the one to stare, too dumbfounded by the power of brownies.
    "What have you done?" I whimpered to The Zombie Elf.
    "I drawed," he said.  "Brownies make me draw."
    I turned to the wall.  My arms hung limp.  My face sagged with hatred for sweets.  He hadn't eaten the peanut butter brownies!  No . . . he hadn't eaten one bite!  Instead, he'd finger-painted a tasty picture on the wall.
    Brown swirls went everywhere.  Chocolate, peanut butter and walnuts dotted the walls!  It looked like a chocolate vat had detonated, and then exploded in my kitchen.
    "Do you have any idea how hard this will be to clean up."
    "No," he said.  "Cleaning up is fun.  It's more fun than drawing.  I love brownies."
    "That's it!  I'm getting Daddy."  I stomped from the room because I'm a mother and I've gotten good at stomping.
    "Daddy?" The Zombie actually quivered.  "Don't get Daddy.  He doesn't like brownie drawings."
    "I'm getting him," I said.
    "Mama, I'll clean fast."
    Why is it that when I saw the brownies, it wasn't a big deal?  But he'd clean the mess for Daddy?  Ug!
    I grabbed Cade and told him the whole story.  When we finally finished talking and rounded the kitchen corner, The Zombie Elf had brownie ALL over his face.  
    The Zombie Elf smiled in a way only Zombies can.  "See," he said.  "I'm good.  Brownies are fun to draw with and to clean."
    He leaned over, stuck out his tongue, and licked the wall.  "See?  Fun." 
   Cade gaped, but I nearly fell over with laughter.  
   It was the best painting ever!

    So, back to the point.  What do you think; do all artists eat brownies?


  1. What, and, you didn't take pictures! You're slipping kiddo!,,,,,kt

  2. LOL! I need to keep my camera charged at all times *giggles* Wow, these kids keep me busy! ;)

  3. lol. I would actually love to see that ;D

    I made my mom's life a bit easier. I never painted the walls. Well, one time I painted our white cat in rainbow colors ;D but that's another story ;D

    your kids are adorable. :)

  4. Haha - okay, licking the wall is beyond hilarious. Now that boy knows how to clean.

  5. At least Zombie Elf shows some sort of prmise as an artist. Butch and Sundance haven't done anything except poop and hand it to me. How lucky you are! Btw....I gave you the Liebster award, over at my blog. Congrats, Veal!

  6. I think you could market this to adults...Brownie Body Crayons! I used to eat crayons as a kid so I'd be more than happy to revert back to childhood if it was brownies instead of colored wax. Plus how could you not get turned on from having chocolate brownie and nuts ground into your bellybutton!?!

  7. I think it's the chocolate. Meg is def an artist and she loved chocolate syrup remember?

  8. It's not The Zombie Elf's fault if brownies make him draw!

    To PADDED CELL PRINCESS--They already have a product along those lines for adults. Haven't you heard of edible underwear?

  9. Oh, how hysterical....I love the logic. Love it.

  10. Fishducky, if you are drawing chocolatey designs from your edible undies then I may question what kind of 'paint' you are using. ;)

  11. This was so much better than the time Peanut made poopie patties on the tile floor and stepped in them. She was three and potty training. It.was.gross!!!!!!!!

  12. could you make out what the tasty picture on the wall was? i imagine a big smiley face:)

  13. You all had me cracking up! Edible underwear LOL! I've heard of those but never seen them. Are they like those edible bead bracelets? I always envisioned that the underwear is made out of beads like one of those car seat liners in the 70's. Maybe even something Leia would have worn when she worked for Jabba the Hut *giggles*

    It looked like a sunset--a muddy one. It's probably one of the best sunsets I've ever seen ;)

  14. a muddy sunset, i love it.
    so you like brownie sunset drawings on the wall but daddy doesn't:)

  15. Licking the brownie mess off the wall as a means of cleaning? This boy is one creative artist. Yes, all artists should eat brownies, especially with a spoon, with the brownies fresh from the oven!

  16. I'm all for artists painting with, drawing with, sculpting with, and then--Yum! Yum!--eating their brownie creations!

    But let's not limit this just to artists. Or let's say we are all artists in our own way. So all of us get to use brownies creatively.

    And if that means edible underwear. So be it!

  17. Re my mention of edible underwear--I've only heard of it & have no first-hand knowledge. Does anyone know what it's made of?

  18. It's official--I need to write a blog about edible underwear. :0)

  19. Yes all artists eat brownies, didn't you know that? LOL!

  20. ur son is way too smart. enjoyed tis post!!

  21. Oh my gosh! Seriously, we have too many ants and fruit flies for any kind of creative painting right now. Brownie art would become some kind of insane living ant art. Sounds like Zombie and Jaycee would get along famously, though.

  22. Love it! Licking the wall, that is awesome.