If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here:
Click here to visit his most recent crime, posted today, 9/12:
What happened is that Melynda prank called my brother last week. He said for the first ten seconds of the call he thought, "This will be interesting." The next ten second he thought, "This person might be real--one of those physcos Elisa blogs about." The next ten seconds he thought, "No, this is all Elisa's doing!"
Thanks for helping, Melynda--you're wondrous in so many ways.
Watch this to see how the call went:
(My favorite part is when the Zombie Elf comes up behind me and says, "Mama, I need to go pee pee.")
Here's my side of the story . . .
You: Imagine the phone ringing dramatically!
Me: *Excited because we called my brother at work.*
Shane: Shane speaking.
Me: *Super giggly!*
Shane: Hello. This is Shane Speaking.
Me thinking: What a cool way to answer the phone. It cuts out the whole question about "Hey, is Shane available?" It's like being physic and shocking the person on the other line--like you innately KNEW who they'd ask for! Even when we're at war, my brother is full of awesome!!!
Melynda: Hi, Shane. This is Reba.
Me thinking: What a cool FAKE name. I flippin' love Reba!
Melynda: I know this might sound stalker crazy, but I have been on your website (www.middledamned.com).
Me thinking: My brother is one Hell of an author!
You: Clicking on the above link (www.middledamned.com) to read about his book.
Melynda: I wanted to tell you how much I love, love, LOVE your book "The Middle Damned." The whole concept of it is just awesome.
Shane: O . . . kay?
Melynda: Honestly I've also been stalking your sister's blog. I saw she had you featured and you two are playing back and forth and everything.
I watched your video of her being born as a cow. Ummm . . . that's a little disturbing TO ME!
Shane: *scoffing quietly* Uh huh.
The Zombie Elf: Mama, I need to go pee pee!
Melynda: Because of my family . . . this is so hard . . . We got Mad Cow Disease a couple years ago. It's really affected people's ability to speak . . .
Sound of The Zombie Elf as he PEED in Melynda's yard BEHIND MY BACK!!!
Melynda staring off to her right, thinking: I will kill Elisa.
Me: *Trying to hold in my laughter as The Zombie Elf shoots into the flowerbed!*
Shane: Uh huh *having no idea of the deeper travesty happening during the call!*
Melynda: The Mad Cow Disease has really affected our . . . mental ability.
Shane: That's funny . . .
Me: *Not laughing. Cow diseases are NOT funny.*
My BROTHER: Because I've been thinking about writing a piece about Mad Cow Disease and how it really is a negative thing.
Me: *Thinking that man really might be a SAINT! I felt sad for those cows because for the FIRST TIME in my life--I LOVE cattle! I finally feel like part of a herd.
Melynda: *Shocking me with her crazy actress skills--seriously--she's amazing! I got lost believing her story.*
The Zombie Elf: *Running around Melynda's yard NAKED!*
A Car: *Driving past, no longer staring at the road!*
The Neighbors: *Pointing for me to stop video taping and get my three-year-old son.*
The Neighbor's dog: *Staring with judgment even though HE'S NAKED TOO!*
Melynda: *Trying not to laugh as she says,* It affects your mental and your emotional health--obviously! And your organs.
Shane: I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry . . .*Blowing the cover* Well, I don't know how Elisa put you up to this . . .
Melynda and Me: *laughing*
Melynda: You donkey!
Me thinking: If he's a donkey, that's epic. I never knew he was adopted too!
Me finally speaking: You've been pranked.
Shane daring to defy our awesomeness: It wasn't a very good prank.
Me thinking: He will pay--somehow he will pay for making fun of my fellow cows.
Melynda: Thanks for playing. Have a good night.
Shane: All right. You too.
Everyone cordially saying "goodbye" even though we knew the storm of cattle is coming!!!