Friday, August 12, 2011

Miss Priss and "The Wave"

    I loaded the kids into the car.  The Hippie whispered, "The Zombie Elf is in love with Kay.  And I didn't even give them The Love Potion."
    Kay is our little neighbor.  She's four and The Zombie Elf is only three.  I honed in on my girls' conversation then, because cougars are awesome! 
    So, I listened for a while about how Kay and The Zombie Elf once shared a kiss before The Zombie Elf could walk.  Apparently love was in the air, even before he had teeth.
    "One kiss, doesn't prove they're in love," The Scribe said.
    "Yes, it does!"
    "No.  IT DOESN'T.  A kiss is just a kiss.  You need to have something more than that."
    I thought about her words--how can you guess if someone's in love?
    My phone rang.  It was one of my best friends.  She's so much fun.  I feel bad for her though, because I recently discovered that she lives by Miss Priss.  If you've read that story, then you know about the obsessive woman who hates coffee and lives by The Ferber method.  The woman who has a poodle with better hair than me.  A woman, who wears fur in The summer and a fifty pound wedding ring!  Anyway, my sweet friend lives by her.  When I answered the phone, she sounded really upset.
    "Elisa," she paused, "Miss Priss is spreading a terrible rumor.  I needed to call and tell you about it before you heard it yourself."
    "Okay?  What's going on?"
    "Well, a few years ago, my car was broke down, so my husband called his brother to come fix it.  Anyway, his brother came at six-thirty in the morning, before work.  He fixed the car, then left.      
    "Miss Priss, saw a man leaving through my garage around seven.  She had no idea that he was my brother-in-law, or that my husband was still home.  Instead of talking to me about it, she called my husband and told him she thought I was . . . well you know, cheating.  It was terrible, but the worst of it was when she told all the neighborhood after that. So, The lady got really upset when my husband laughed at her.  She's been watching me closely ever since."
    "That sucks.  I'm so sorry," I said.
    "Well, it gets worse.  That's why I called you.  Do you remember how Cade went to Back to School Night?"
    "Yeah?" I said.  I'd laughed because Cade's never been to something like that.  He was so excited that he left me home with the babies and The Hippie.  He took The Scribe and I've never seen two people so happy to meet with teachers.
    My friend cleared her throat.  "While he was at Back to School Night, he saw me.  I stood near Miss Priss.  That's when Cade  . . . waved."
     "Yes, waved.  It was a simple wave, something anyone would do.  He had to do it--I swear.  It would have been rude if he hadn't.  But Miss Priss saw him.  She called my husband yesterday and told him that she saw a handsome man with tattoos, waving at me.  She said, it was one heck of a wave."

    I suddenly laughed so hard.  "Wave" sounded like a code word.  "I'd like to see him wave at me."
    "No kidding!  So, you're not mad?" she asked.  
    "Of course not.  This is hilarious.  Plus, I've had my own run-in with Miss Priss."
    I told my friend about My Date with Miss Priss and after a moment, she started laughing really hard too.  "Isn't it stupid?  All that over a wave.  My husband thinks it's ridiculous," she said.
     "And I think it's awesome.  The wave.  It's the best code word ever!  Can you imagine the great conversations we can have now?"     
    I thought of the computer geeks from last week; I bet they don't wave often!  I thought of Miss Priss.  I bet she HATES a good wave.
    Waving--who knew it could turn so deep!

   I hung up the phone after that, smiling and giggling.  I heard my girls talking in the backseat again.  "I told you.  He loves Kay," The Hippie said.  "He kissed her when he was a baby."
    "A kiss doesn't mean anything.  How else do you know that they're in love."
    "Well, didn't you see him a minute ago?  Didn't you see him wave?"
    I nearly died of laughter.  That was the funniest thing in the world!