Monday, August 22, 2011

The Girl Fix

    I asked The Hippie (my seven-year-old) if she'd like to have a sleepover on my bedroom floor.  "It's your turn." I smiled.
    "A sleepover with you and Daddy?" she asked.  "The Scribe got a turn last night.  I thought you'd never ask me."
    "Of course we would.  So, will you have a sleepover?  Daddy and I will let you stay up later than the other kids.  You can watch a movie with us and have popcorn."
    She giggled, so completely happy. "A princess movie.  A Barbie movie?"
    I knew Cade would hate me, but I nodded anyway.  "Sure, Daddy loves those . . . Barbie movies."
     Anyway, everything seemed right with the world until later that day, when she'd locked herself in my room.
    "What are you doing?" I asked, knocking.
    "I'm fixing up your room.  If I'm moving in, I better make a few changes."
    Moving in?  I worried, until she came out and my fears were confirmed.  I've decided I hate locked doors.  I hate it when children are so deathly quiet you know they're doing something terrible!
    My room, CADE'S ROOM looked like a fairy princess had come to do her magic and then exploded.  Stuffed animals rested everywhere.  All of my writing things and books WERE HIDDEN.  All of Cade's favorite guy things WERE GONE!
    You ask a girl to have one sleepover--ONE--and all hell breaks loose.

    "Why did you put all those girly blankets and stuffed animals on my bed?  I asked you if you'd like to have a sleepover on the floor."
    "But the floor, doesn't look as nice as the bed.  So, I set up your stuff right there."  I looked.  My nice comforter, the beautiful one I'd gotten for my birthday, rested where she'd made my bed ON THE GROUND!  I knew Cade would not be pleased.

      Now, before I go on with this gem of a story, let me take a detour.  What is the deal with girls who barely date a guy, and then think they're moving in with them?  Let me explain:
    One of Cade's best friends, let's call him "Big T.," keeps dating psychos.  Just last month, he dated a girl for two weeks.  After those two weeks went well, he had to go out of town, so he asked if she could check on his house for the next week while he was away.
    When Big T. came home, the girl had practically moved in.  She'd brought her two cats to live there.  She'd redecorated the bathroom.  She'd done up the kitchen and put fluffy pillows on the bed. 

    I remember seeing a scene like that on "How to lose a Guy in 10 Days;" I just never thought people like that actually existed.
    Poor Big T flipped out.  He's allergic to cats and they'd peed everywhere.  He'd just wanted her to make sure his house was okay a couple times, not move in from her parents' house. 
    What is the deal with these women?  Are they trying to strike while the iron is hot?  Maim while the poor guy can't get away?  What happened to playing hard to get.  That's way better than acting like a freak woman.

    So, back to my story about The Hippie.  She did end up telling us where all of our things were.  She'd hid Cade's paintball gun in her room.  She'd put my books under my bed.
    We moved all her things back into her bedroom and set-up her bed on the floor.
    After we ate popcorn and watched a Barbie movie, Cade asked The Hippie, "Why did you decorate it so nice though?  You should do that to your own room."
    "Are you kidding?" she said.  "I share a room with The Zombie Elf.  He hates all that girly stuff.  That's why I've decorated our room with cars."
    Kids are hilarious!

    So why do you think women do that to men anyway?


  1. Oh goodness that is hilarious that she decked out your room in pink girly foo foo! As to your attempt at understanding psycho women who move right in...let me know if you find out, I have no clue! I believe they may be a different species of woman:
    Homofemaliousinsanos a highly unstudied species because A. most of the population are freaked out of them and B. they think there is nothing wrong with them so they don't get physiologically evaluated.

  2. Popping in for a quick hello. I'm gonna have to catch up on your posts at lunch time!

  3. 1, they're purposely trying to scare them away (like in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Day), 2, their biological clock is ticking or 3, absolutely clueless! My children subtly tries to move into our bedroom everyday. It's like slowly but surely their toys makes it into our bedroom. Have you ever stepped on a Barbie hand before? It's comparable to walking on broken glass...

  4. Padded Cell Princess-
    You're right, they do think nothing is wrong with them. lol

    I'm so excited to read if you had any dates this weekend. ;)

    Rachel Joy,
    Barbie hands and trucks! Ouch LOL!

  5. The hippie is such a girl! She cracks me up! What i want to know is how did Cade enjoy the barbie movie??

  6. Melynda,
    Cade thoroughly enjoyed it. He loves nothing more, than snuggling into the couch and watching one of those musical, delightful Barbie films.

  7. The answer to why do some women act like that is the same as to why do dogs lick themselves--BECAUSE THEY CAN!

    I LOVE your kids!

  8. Fishducky,
    You just had me laughing so hard! Dogs like that drive me crazy!

  9. I wonder, myself, if some people just live in expectation that all the people they meet are longing to live in their world. So they give these other people the opportunity to do so.

    Actually, I think they may feel that they are bestowing a great gift by providing this opportunity.

    It's so true that we all march to the tune of a different drummer. The beat of that drummer can sound strange to the rest of the population. But the person marching hears wedding bells or life-long love or security or acceptance. Or finally realizing the dream of a lifetime.

    Maybe. Maybe not. Just some thoughts.

  10. lol. your kid stories always make me laugh ;D

  11. DEE's comments show a great deal of insight. I didn't know you were allowed to use your brains while posting a comment--I'll have to try that!

  12. I'm going with marking territory.

    Or phychotic.


    It took Almost Hubs 7 years to move in here (He finally moved in last month). Some would say it's a guy thing.

    I will tell you that it's cuz I don't like to share my stuff. :)

  13. I've never done that with a guy...but after this past week I know what it feels like to have someone plan my future and tell me what it's going to be...ughhhh.

  14. It is a dominance thing that girls do, I think: to make a statement, like, "I am here! Deal with it!"

    The Hippie will break some hearts, I betcha.

  15. Great post-I'm actually wondering lately what it will be like when my daughter moves away to college and the tables will turn when I'm the only female in the house!

    Looking forward to your guest post tomorrow!

  16. Oh, I enjoyed reading this...both the main and subplot...and the comments :)

    These moments in time are priceless, Elisa! By having 'preserved' this event you will always be able to return to this memory when your little girl has grown up into a young woman and left home.

  17. 1. I think that is a great idea, haveing a special sleepover with each child
    2. they way you tell it, makes me not so sure I want to try it!!
    love your stories!
    new follower from voiceBoks