Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A Doctor, A Zombie, and a Sorcerer's War

    I guest posted today on Mamawolfe.  Please check her out if you have a chance.  She's amazing!  Here's that post:

So, on to a silly story; yesterday I witnessed a Sorcerer's War!
     Candiss (from yesterday's vlog) made each of my kids a nursing, scrubs shirt.  

    Well, whenever The Zombie Elf (my three-year-old) puts his adult-size shirt on, he thinks he's better than Potter. 
    He wields string cheese (the expensive kind).  He jumps around casting spells on the cat, on the couch. Boom, boom, poof! The kid can even change channels on the TV!  
    What a descendant of Merlin!  
    All that went great, and he thought he was amazing until meeting his match.  Doctor Jones (my one-year-old) stumbled from the shadows in our front room.  
    You see, she wore an adult scrubs top too.  Sure she struggles walking in it because it's long.  Sure she can only say a few words and prefers to make a popping sound anyway.  But when she wears scrubs AND holds string cheese, watch out!  She has brilliant blue eyes that seem to know all the spells in the world.  She has wild curly hair--like a scientist--and everyone knows to watch out for people like that.
    The two babies faced-off in the front room.  The Zombie Elf circled around Doctor Jones because she was far too powerful.  Doctor Jones stayed strong, but something flickered across her cherub's face; I sensed her fear.
    The Zombie Elf laughed then.  "I have you.  You're a bad guy.  Ha ha ha."  The laugh was fake, very pronounced and theatrical.
    Doctor Jones nearly shook in those scrubs.  She turned to me as if pleading for a moment.  She didn't say a word though.  She didn't even make a popping noise.
    The Zombie Elf laughed again.  He grabbed Doctor Jones's wand of string cheese.  He threw in on the ground and stepped on it.  I felt like it was my heart he stepped on because that cheese cost twenty-five cents!
    "Any words?" The Zombie Elf asked.  He pointed his freshly unwrapped string cheese at her.  She stumbled backwards, slowly until he'd backed her against a wall.  "I said," The Zombie Elf screamed with insanity only a magician can know, "any words before I turn you into Rosie the choo choo train?" 
    That's when Doctor Jones turned spicy (like when I wrote about Doctor Jones and the Sucker Raid).  She sealed her mouth tight.  She squinted her eyes.  Then, when I least expected it, she popped her lips. 
    The Zombie Elf pointed his wand closer, knowing he needed to act fast.  (Every time Doctor Jones pops her lips, something crazy happens!)  
    "I will turn you into a choo choo!  Boom, boom . . ."  He waved his wand and prepared to say the final, inevitable POOF!  
    I thought of how much I love the way Doctor Jones is.  I knew she would make a cute choo choo, even though I'd miss her curls.  She appeared nervous, backed against that wall and hope seemed out of reach.
    "Poof!" The Zombie Elf said, but just as he pointed his wand, the spell never made it out because Doctor Jones leaned forward like a snapping turtle and bit off a fourth of the string cheese wand.  
    It was a victorious moment for women everywhere.  You should have seen the pride and happiness on my girl's face. 
    The Zombie grimaced at his wand and dropped the thing.  The female Doctor picked it up and started nibbling on the rest.
    "I lost," The Zombie Elf said sadly.  "I still have this wand though."  He picked up Doctor Jones's old wand, the one he'd stepped on.  He put it in his mouth and took a big bite of nastiness.
    "Yum," The Zombie Elf said as I cringed.
    "Yum," Doctor Jones smiled and giggled.  "Wand!"  That was the first time she said wand!  I told you string cheese is magical.


  1. Those two are going to be actors. I don't know you better watch out. Dr Jones may end up joining Meg in the marines!!! That is one tough baby.

  2. How intense. Just curious though, did he step on that string cheese on hard floor or carpet? Because one would definitely be more nasty than the other...go Dr. Jones! Small but terrible, victory can come in any size.

  3. Melynda,
    Those guys in the Marines better watch out if Doctor Jones enlists! She's one heck of a baby LOL!

    Rachel Joy,
    Just writing this makes me cringe . . . carpet. Yuck! I guess germs will just make him stronger?

  4. Oh, Elisa, I laughed out loud and kept laughing and I'm grinning now as I type this. I was with you throughout the entire duel and when we got to the part where Doctor Jones leaned forward and bit off the end of Zombie Elf's cheese wand I couldn't contain myself any longer. The cats jumped off the desk and scurried out the room. And I sat here laughing my fool head off! What a way to start the day. Thank you.

  5. Dee,
    I laughed so hard when it happened. But during the duel, I just stared, not daring to make a sound LOL!
    Your cats are darling. :0)

  6. Elisa, your guest posting on "Mamawolf" brought tears to my eyes. Today I read this quotation on another blog: "I do not know what I'm looking at, so I must not judge what I see." Your experience on the beach in Hawaii illustrates this quote so beautifully.

    When I listened to your music video I started to cry. To be able to create music like that and to play the instrument so that it comes to life. How blessed you are in your gifts and your family and your friends. Peace.

  7. Thank you so much, Dee. Cade and I are playing for a infant loss ceremony in September. I'm getting nervous, but excited to be able to play for so many people. It'll be neat.

  8. PRECIOUS!!! I could picture it all perfectly, thanks to your expert story-telling abilities. How are you able to resist not smothering that little bundle of cuteness with the biggest most cuddlesome hug you can muster?! She sounds absolutely adorable! I think I'm getting grandmother broodiness after this, Elisa. I'll have to go and hug my daughter's puppy, Noodle, right now! She's staying with us while her Mother is away for a few days.

  9. Another typical (HYSTERICAL, THOUGHTFUL) story about 2 typical (IMAGINATIVE, PLAYFUL, ADORABLE) Hirsch kids--& their mom, who describes it all so it is as if we were there!

    I'm going over to read your post on MAMAWOLFE noe. I'll be back!

  10. I'm back--WOW! I left you a comment on MAMAWOLFE's blog. Too long to repost here.

  11. Thanks, Desiree. You are such a sweetheart. Oh and I LOVE your comment on yesterday's blog LOL! I just responded.

    I'm excited to read your response. I'm heading over there now. :0)

  12. Those two are just too much, but my money is on Doctor Jones, you just can't stop her.

  13. Wait!

    (she runs to fridge)

    Damn. My cheese doesn't do anything.

    I got defective cheese! Damn over priced supermarket chains....

    Seems the only magical powers my string cheese brings is some extra time in the bathroom. :)

  14. Okay, first I have to laugh at Juliana's comment...I love that woman! She cracks me up.
    Second, what a cheesy can't deny it.
    Third, what a great post...I could see a book of their tales in your future! So cute!!!!!