Sunday, October 16, 2011

The True Point of Fighting

     Side note: before the story of the day, I had to tell you, I'm walking on air!  I hit 1000 followers.  And how cool is that since my first book will be published in a little over 30 days?!
    For info on that, and if you'd like to be involved, please go here: "The Golden Sky" Blogfest!

    To celebrate the 1000 followers, I've decided to share another embarrassing story.

    Several years ago Cade and I were having problems.  Marriage isn't easy.  Even if you marry someone who's wonderful, every day IS NOT a frolic in the park.  Cade knows that I'm a constant tease.  I know he needs non-blogging attention from time to time.  
    The list goes on, but we love each other (at least I hope he loves me even when I make him be in vlogs).

Monkey Man

Ask Your Spouse


    Anyway, several years ago, we were having a not-so-lovely bump in our marriage.  A friend from high school somehow got my number, and I was delighted to hear from him.
    "How are you?" I asked.
    "Wonderful," Jerry said. "I just got married to the most wonderful girl.  We don't know many couples though and we're wondering if you and Cade would like to go on a double date with us."
    "Oh . . . how nice.  We would love to."  But the truth was, Cade would rather rip off his own toenails, than go on a date with me.
    "Don't you just love being married?" Jerry asked rhetorically. 
    "Oh, yes," I said, which I did.  But I didn't tell him about any of our problems because when someone is first married or dating, you don't want to be the Grim Reaper.  When their spouse leaves the lid off the toothpaste for the first time, then they'll understand.  When their spouse leaves the toilet seat up . . . when their spouse leaves hair in the sink--enough said.
    So, I hung up the phone and went to church later that week.  I stayed after the service and spoke for awhile to the FREE marriage counselor.  Things hardly ever get better than when they're free!
    "I need some help," I told him.  "Would you have time to talk with me and my husband?"
    "Sure," he said.  "But from what you've told me, I don't think your marriage needs counseling yet."
    "O . . . kay," I said.
    "But you can have my number just in case.  My name is Jerry."  He held out his hand and smiled.  He was free and nice, wow I could see why he's going to Heaven.
    Well, the week progressed.  Cade and I got to the boiling point.  He packed his bags and so did I.  The kids had no idea what was going on.  The whole time though, I kept hoping we'd finally talk, patch things up and have some make-up sex time.  After all, what's the point of a good fight if you don't make up?
    But we didn't make up and I just wanted to cry.  In a moment of confusion, I pulled out my cell phone and scanned down to "Jerry's" number.
    "Hello?" a pleasant I'm-going-to-Heaven voice said.
    "I'm in trouble." I sobbed.  "My marriage is failing.  My husband probably found someone else.  He packed his bags and is ready to leave . . .  Do you have any advice for me?"
    "Ummm . . . I've never dealt with something like this before."
    "Sure you have, just tell me what to do."
    "Actually, Elisa.  I just don't know what to say.  I'm not good at things like this."
    "Just tell me!  You're a counselor aren't you?"
    "Well . . . not exactly."
    "Is that why you're free?"
    "I'm not . . . free."
    "You're not?"  Maybe the man wouldn't go to Heaven.  He'd lied AT CHURCH--that's the worst thing ever!  "Wait a minute," I said.  "Who is this again?"
    "Jerry," the guy said a bit confused.  "Jerry from high school."
    I turned into soup.  I wanted to die. 
    "Elisa, I know we were good friends in high school. But you've changed.  This conversation scares me.  We haven't talked in such a long time and now you call me about this."
    I was so embarrassed I hung up the phone and called Cade.  
    At the end of the call, he laughed so hard I thought he'd split open.  "I miss you," Cade said.  "I miss this.  Do you want to go to dinner tonight?"
   "Sure, I guess," I said, so excited, because I knew we were about to make up.  After all, like I wrote above, isn't that the whole point of fighting?



  1. hahaha after reading many posts I was laughing as soon as you said Jerry, I knew it was the wrong one. Yes making up is the best part, unless they are a nut then that is a whole other story, of course that's just the crappy dating world..haha

  2. I take it you guys didn't go on a double date with Jerry, did you? The important part is that you made up, you too are too cute to have any problems, I'm happy you worked things out :)

  3. When you said the counselor's name was Jerry, I scrolled back up to see if I had misremembered your friend's name. This sort of thing could only happen to you--or Melynda!!

    I'm going to start proofing your book later today.

  4. I did the same thing Fishducky did. I scrolled up to make sure I had the names right and then let impending doom flood my mind as I read on! You may have been humiliated but I bet Cade was so relieved to not have to go on that double date! Oh you poor thing! I would still be under a rock attempting to die!

  5. I don't know how many times I've done stuff like that! haha. So glad I'm not alone in the world.. Congrats on your 1000 followers! Yahoo! However you have 1006 now so yipee!

  6. Dear Elisa,

    Only to you! Only to you! I think that in a past life you must have been either a rainbow or a unicorn.

    And congratulations on 1006 (I got this from Melynda's comment). Wow and Double Wow!


  7. I like Monkey Man. You should find a record company to release it. I don't have any problem telling young couples the truth now that I know what the truth is: You are going to make each other miserable and it will be a miracle if you don't get divorced or at least cheat on each other. Make sure you never get sick because then he will be sure to leave. Men can't handle problems or illness.

    Are you crying yet? If you need more, I can go on. Let me know if you need more misery because I have plenty to share.


  8. Embarrassing!!! I'm glad you guys were able to work it out. And, see, Jerry was free and he helped you out more than you know! He's deff going to

  9. Yes! The whole point of fighting is to make up..LOL This one cracked me up because I know I've made similar mistakes...not to that extreme, but I did leave a voicemail with ex-boyfriend asking how much he was charging to fix my car. His name was the same as the firt one on the shop. He called back and just said, "Uhhh...I think you called the wrong person. Nice to hear from you though." *headdesk*

  10. Ok, when we fight people watch, I just hope that when we make up the same people get to know. LOL
    Image is not every thing but I rather fight in private. this is Munir over here at FOcus. Making up is good even after a headache.

  11. You and Cade have been through so much together. I wish I could say that marriage gets easier, but it never does. God keeps things going, even when we are at a loss to figure out what is wrong.

  12. Frick, color me jealous, I'm trying to break the 400 person follower mark. How did you do it darn it.

  13. That is EPIC!
    I can always count on you to make me laugh......or cry..

  14. :D Your friend from high school is such a green horn. (He's in for it, no?) Well, take comfort in the fact that years go by quickly and he'll soon remember a desperate, accidental plea and how little that was comparatively. ;) Don't feel bad, I once hugged a guy from behind that had the same coat on, (and had the same build), that my husband did. It was a butt-groping hug too. :O (Blushing)

  15. AMAZING story! Absolutely amazing! Made me laugh and cringe and respect you a million times more than I already did, which I honestly didn't think was possible. You're so amazing, I really do look up to you, for you writing and your spirit.

  16. Oooh! Love this story...How funny! And so glad you two worked through everything!

  17. Wow. I can honestly say that I've never made a phone call like that.

    Also, disregard my comment from the other post about the Ask the Spouse video. I'm reading these out of order.

    Must has caffeine.