Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Panda and a Mystery Fart

    I asked my kids to tell me a story today. It turned out crazy!


    "Once upon a time there was a panda bear. He went into the forest and started running faster and faster," The Scribe said.
    "He was very lonely and wanted to look for friends," The Hippie said.
    "He had so much to offer, though. He was cute; he would love any BFF and he liked to eat cupcakes and rainbows."
    "Ewe!" The Zombie Elf said, "that's yucky. Not rainbows."
    "While he was running, he ran into a wise old man," The Scribe continued.  "He had white hair and was caring something special deep inside himself."
     "Yeah," The Zombie Elf interjected, "A fart."
    "It wasn't a fart," The Hippie said, "it was something great like wisdom."
    "No it wasn't!" The Zombie stood from his seat and balled his fists.
    "Yes . . ." The Hippie's voice turned low. "IT WAS."
    If there's anything The Zombie Elf should know, it's that NO SANE PERSON messes with a hippie.
    The Hippie's eyes turned to flames.  Her mouth pulled with mischief. "Fine, Zombie. Maybe it was a fart. The wisest fart known to man!"
    "A wise fart?" The Scribe wrinkled her nose. 
    "Yeah," The Hippie said, "I have 'em all the time, since I'm filled with awesomeness."
    "Wait . . . that was you?" The Scribe asked as if understanding the universe.
    That's where the story ended and although it didn't really have a plot or any climactic moments, I'll never forget it because now I know where those strange smells have been coming from . . . it was The (wise) Hippie all along.

    Well, I'm just getting ready to leave for Vegas.  I can't wait!


  1. I just laughed so hard spittle hit my computer screen! Best line- "A wise fart?" The Scribe wrinkled her nose.
    "Yeah," The Hippie said, "I have 'em all the time, since I'm filled with awesomeness."

  2. hahaha that was perfect, although now you know where the blame lies..haha

    Have fun in Vegas.

  3. I guess if you're just filled with awesomeness it would have to come out somewhere!

    Have fun in Vegas with your mom!!

  4. LOL So that's the problem with the world? We just need gasier politicians!

    What a classic story :)

  5. Dear Elisa, what "fishducky" said make all the sense to me!

    Have a rip-roaring time in Vegas!


  6. If only my dad could read this, he would claim to be the wisest of us all! LOL! LOVE your kids!!!

  7. Awesome.

    Vegas, huh? Here's a big tip: Use only a small amount of money at a time, and when you win enough to break even, put your starter money back in your pocket and play with the winnings. Or just think of any money you're playing with as "entertainment" and not care if/when you lose it. Most of all: Have fun!

  8. HAHAHAHAH......So funny! Have fun in Vegas! i went with my hubby last year and we had a blast! :)

  9. A wise fart.... Well that explains a lot. I will pass on letting my boys know about this. My house will smell like rancid butt from here on out otherwise! lol
    Have fun in Vegas traitor! :)

  10. I have two brothers and several boy cousins so I'm not surprised that The Zombie Elf suggested a fart.

    A wise fart? Hmm. I'll have to remember that one. That might explain my problem, to go along with my good grades, despite the medical problems I've had since I was about Zombie's age.

    Anyway, have fun in Vegas!

  11. O M G.
    Your kids truly are epic and it sounds like it would be a total blast to hang out with you guys, as long as I have nose plugs.

    Have a great time in Vegas!

  12. Elisa, I thnk we live in parallell universes. My house is all about 12 year old bodily boy functions...sigh.
    Hope you have fun in Vegas-definitely lots of blog worthy story material!

  13. So funny! I love it! Today seems I have been full of "wisdom" if you get my drift LOL

  14. I'm with Fishducky; when one is filled with so much awesomeness, it does have to come out somewhere... I should know...LOL Have fun and be safe in Vegas!

  15. Filled with awesomeness uh? I love it. Have a good time in Vegas and don't lose the house :)

  16. Awesome..........!!!!Be Happy and Safe....=)Real Fun Stories are like this.....=)

  17. Oh, man! Peanut is gonna love this story!!!!
    Have a fabulous trip!

  18. Hi aunt E.C.! Oh lolololz that sounds like them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Owwwww my ribcage hurts so much now . . . . air I need. . .air! Man i wish my family waz as fun as this!LOLOLO! Tell every one I said hi! - Abi