Monday, October 31, 2011

I Gave My Brother the Finger

   The blog/prank war with my brother has escalated.  It went from front porch bombs and silly phone calls, to a crying session where I later gave him the finger.
    For the first part of this story, please visit my brother here:
    P. S. Today is his birthday!  Happy Birthday, Shane.

    Back to the story of the day; I'll let Shane tell you why I cried.
   After the crying session, I had another prank planned for that very day.  Saturday his wife scheduled a birthday party for him.  She was making fancy chili, and somehow it reminded me of the time a woman claimed she found a finger in her chili!
    So, my brother prepared his spicy soup.  He put sour cream on it and chives, cheese and onions.  It did look nice.  But Cade and I had a VERY DISCREET signal.  When it was the perfect time to give my brother the finger, I would squeeze Cade's arm and say, "Cade, I love you so much."  (Isn't that tricky!)
    Cade took the signal IMMEDIATELY.  "Shane," he said, "do you have any more chairs?"
    "I'm so sorry," my brother said, and strutted away to get more chairs.  That's the thing about my brother--even when he doesn't mean to be cool, he is.  (Like the time his video got over 280,000 views on youtube!)
    I swear he had more friends than anyone in high school because he'd take people on guided tours through the desert.  

He can rock climb.  
He can sing.
He can do almost anything.
He's . . . my brother!

    See, until I was nine we lived in the middle of nowhere.  When you grow up in a tiny mining town you either become epic or . . . ugly.  I don't want to say what happened to me.
    Moving along . . .
    My brother came back, further beautified his food, took a few big bites and then it happened!
    This is what he saw!

    At first his eyes went wide when he saw the thumb of doom.  I wondered if he realized the deeper symbolism--how I'd cut my thumb in half on a table saw--how we are in a valiant battle now--how I MUST win!
    But then he simply rolled his eyes, pulled out the fake thumb, stuck it on MY PLATE, and licked his dirty finger like it was no big deal.
    That's when things got spicy.  I turned to his sweet wife.  "Oh. My. Gosh," I gasped.  "Look what I found in my food!"
    My sister-in-law turned pale.  "What!"  She believed me!
    And later, when it was time to do the dishes, she didn't even want to touch the thumb to wash it off.  Poor girl--she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
    "Yes," my brother said later, "if you want to prank someone effectivey, prank my wife."
    "Because we're desensitized."
    "Agreed," he said.  "But wait, I pranked you earlier today and you already got me back.  That doesn't mean it's back to me again . . . does it?"
    "Absolutely," I laughed.  "Don't worry, someday you'll taste success.  Oh wait, you already did, I hid it in your chili."   
    "Oh, really!" he looked like a bull ready to charge.  Now I'm a bit worried.  I think he's going to get me extra good next time.

    Happy Birthday, Shane.  When you're devising the next prank, I want you to remember how much your little sister loves you.  Have a wonderful day.


  1. LOL...ugh...your brother has a stronger stomach than me. I would've have been able to finish eating..

  2. If you'd done that to his wife, she probably would have screamed. That's an awesome relationship you have with your brother :D

  3. Yuck and funny at the same time! Happy birthday, Brother!!!

  4. LOL loved tasted success in his chili hahaha you could be in for it next time.

  5. Un-phase-able I tell you! Wicked funny, though. Not to his wife, but still.

  6. Happy birthday to your brother! and Happy halloween!

    Your prank wars crack me up. For the record, if I saw a thumb in my chili I would have freaked out! Your brother is brave :)

  7. It seems like most of my comments to you involve.... ONLY YOU. So I'll spare you that one for once. I would have barfed. Ok I can say that I've been doing for a couple of days now. lol I'm so proud of you for well you know... That was a big thing!

  8. yuck! but LOL! ;D happy birthday to your brother :)

  9. Your poor mother. I would have played the drums, too, if you & Shane were my kids.

  10. I got my brother without touching him. We lived in a split level home. He was always hitting me and running and I would get yelled at for chasing him. One day he decided to save some steps and took a leap from the top of a staircase with oh maybe ten or so steps. He smacked right into the wall above the stairway. He kinda slid down the wall, hit the floor, and was out cold. I had to stop laughing along with my sisters, before my parents arrived. I loved it, and to this day, I am the Queen!!!

  11. "When you're devising the next prank, I want you to remember how much your little sister loves you."?!!!!

    Are you twisting the knife or what?!!! I'm going to have to think up something extra diabolical just for that! If only I weren't out of ideas. And here are a few more exclamation point just for good measure. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. How fitting that your brother's birthday is on Halloween. I'm sure the irony doesn't escape you.
    Love that prank - if I had found a thumb in my food, there'd be chilli all over the dining room. Just saying.
    Happy Halloween!

  13. Too funny! And the pranking continues. Looking forward to your next story.
    And finally getting to read your posts from last week.

  14. I must say you guys are weird--but only because I can't think of a word that outweirds weird! I was going to have a quick bowl of chili tonight before the trick or treaters came but now I think, maybe some soup......?

    Happy birthday, Shane!

  15. You know.

    Of all the appendages one could leave in chilli, a finger is somewhat benign.


  16. I don't mind the finger, but what is this fascination your brother has with cows?

  17. Young one you are so lucky to have such a great relationship with your brother. My is such a giant ass that I wouldn't pee on him if he was on fire. (Sorry about that.)

  18. The last prank I played on a family member, my brother lost both of his eyebrows to duct tape. That is to say, you probably don't want my ideas. Or maybe you do, just so you know how far not to go.

  19. Excellent prank! Love you AND your crazy brother.


  20. Happy Birthday to Shane. My sympathies to his wife - I'd have screamed (I'm no good at playing/receiving pranks!!!).

  21. THis is beginning to look like the war of the roses, which lasted about 100 years.....How long have you guys been at this now? SInce childhood? You're both battle funny :)

  22. You certainly gave him a thumbs-up! ;)