Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Do I have bad luck?

    Do I have bad luck, or in some strange way, is it good luck?
    Yesterday I took my girls to tumbling, and just as I left the parking lot, The Zombie Elf (my three-year-old) said he had to pee.
    "Seriously?" I huffed and turned back toward the shopping center with the tumbling building, a mechanic shop and a gas station.
    On a side note, do you remember me writing about that mechanic shop and the guy who almost died?  Here's that story if you want to check it out:

Wrong Place . . . Wrong Time?  

       "I can't make it," The Zombie Elf screamed like Brave Heart.  "I have to go peeee peeee real bad!"
     There were only a couple options.  He could pee his pants, or I could let him go in the parking lot.
    We were close to a lone parking spot by the second bay of the mechanic shop.  And sometimes when you're a mother, risks must be taken. 
    I lurched to a halt, opened The Zombie's door, told him to take off his Incredible Hulk underwear and pee from the van--at the same angle as the wind!
     But although I waited awhile, the poor kid wouldn't pee.  I did a typical mom thing then.  I talked to him about rushing rivers.  I made a "pssst" sound to make the passing easier.  I sang about raindrops and roses.  I danced--I pleaded!
     It got so bad that I needed to pee, and kept thinking how we could have made it to a toilet.  Worries cluttered my mind.  After all, we waited by the second bay; when I'd been a mechanic, that was always THE WORST bay in the whole damn place.
    I looked up into the sky and refused to turn around, I just had the feeling some person was there.
    Now, the funny thing is that when I looked up, The Zombie Elf finally peed.  I guess he'd just needed me to look away the whole time.  Now I know!
    I helped him put his pants back on.  I sang again, this time about super zombies and children who make my heart shine.
    Mid-song, I turned around, and that's when I decided I might have the craziest luck in the world.  Another truth hit me as well; the second bay really does suck!
    Would you like to know who stood watching me as I sang and danced, as I whispered and cried for my son to pee in A PARKING LOT?
    It was the waiter who thinks I have The Clap!!!

    If you haven't read that story--and you're curious--here it is:  

    I waved and smiled, trying to be the bigger person, but that man just groaned and turned around.  What a jerk--maybe he's served one too many crabby salads!
    So, that was the extent of my excitement yesterday. 
    I keep wondering though, why do these things happen to me?     
    Someone once said I have a flashing sign on my forehead, and all I need to do is turn it off.  Could it be that simple?  The off button does sound delightful, but just a little too boring for my taste anyway.  
   When it really comes down to it, I'll take my luck the way it is, even if I never know what to expect.  Sometimes luck is like beauty; it's all in the eye of the beholder. 


  1. That's quite a story (both of them). What are the odds of the waiter seeing you outside of the restaurant?! Wow!
    Peanut was an "oopsie"...and I thank my lucky stars for that!

  2. hahahaha it would be quite interesting to see that waiter paint a picture of you. The things he'd say..hahaha. Bad or good luck, most things can have fun to them or could always be worse.

  3. LOL!! But if you shut that light off, you will not have as many funny storys to blog about! This was a cute one. :)

  4. LOL! i liked your definition of luck elisa!:)
    its wonderful to read stories about your children:)
    good day to you:)

  5. I don't think you have bad luck, I just think you live in a dimension called Comedic Irony! ;)

  6. Reading this makes me wish I were a little boy so I could pee off things...

    Okay, not really.

    But now I know how to handle my nephew if this situation should happen to us!

    I swear, you're always teaching!

  7. My mum used to whistle The Laughing Policeman at me to get me to pee. I had to ask her to stop when I was 20 though.

  8. If you keep running into this waiter, he might become one of your best friends--OR, you could always find another restaurant!

    PEE ON, little Zombie Elf!!

  9. PS--I love--& agree with--PADDED CELL PRINCESS' comment!

  10. The waiter's probably given plenty of people crabs in their salads.

    Or whatever that's supposed to mean.

  11. Dear Elisa, like "fishducky," I'm agreeing with the comment by "Padded Cell Princess." Cosmic Irony

    I know I've said this before but it's worth repeating: My mom used to say to me when I complained about someone or something, "Dolores, you find what you look for. If you look for good, you will find it. And if you look for bad, you will surely find that too."

    Well, Elisa, you look for good and in doing so you find the humor and irony in everything you see. That's a blessing. Trust it.


  12. I'd have just pretended you didn't even recognize the waiter. Zombie elf...that's adorable. Love it!

  13. So glad it wasn't The Scribe or The Hippie who had to pee. Girls have it rough.
    I once had to take my little son to pee against a tree. It didn't go well. He was peeing uphill, and a river of pee ran back at us, between his feet, and down. It was epic.

  14. LOL! this sounds so funny. I could imagine you dancing and singing to make your son pee ;DD

  15. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! That was definitely meant to be, along with the need to pee pee pee!


  16. If an adult gets arrested for peeing in public here he's branded as a sex offender.

    Luckily I don't think that's apply to a kiddo. At least I hope it wouldn't.

  17. You're out there living life and being yourself and that is a beautiful thing.

  18. Kids just make us do the most amazing things...have no shame!

  19. You just keep being you. (Which is wonderful btw.) That waiter obviously has a cob lodged somewhere. ;)

  20. Oh those crazy parent moments.

    We are so shameless that we carry an emergency small toilet in the back of the family vehicle--it has saved us more than once.

    And, your post on the Clap is priceless.