Friday, September 2, 2011

Recipe for Marriage

    I've done it again (been allowed to write a guest blog).  Click here if you'd like to visit an amazing blog where three hook'ers will give you advice on writing, and possibly review your manuscript or self-published book:
Ready, Aim, Hook Me

    Yesterday I made a very interesting phone call.  Before I go on, I'd like you to remember these three posts:
    As I'm sure you remember, I'm having a feud/blog war with my charming, hilarious brother.  So, since I drew blood last, I called his amazing wife and did what any good blogger would do; I snooped around.
    "What's Shane been up to?" I asked.
    "Oh, Elisa," she said.  "He's planning something awful. I'm so sorry."
    "What's he planning?" My voice didn't shake--not one bit.  I'm not a pansy.  My real daddy is a viking!
    "Well, I can't tell you the details, but I will tell you it's bad . . . AND funny."
    "I better be prepared for anything," I said.  "You know, it sucks because I think Cade's helping him."
    "You're kidding!"
    "No, after Shane wrote about my biological mother being a cow, Cade wrote 'it makes perfect sense . . . that's why she Moo'd when our first child was born. Shane, if u ever want to join forces, I love cow tipping!'" I paused.  "Isn't that terrible!"
    "Yes, but Elisa, do you know that I'd love to help, if you need anything?"
    I smirked into the phone, nearly cackling with delight.  I LOVE my sister-in-law!
    After we made several, very devious plans, the conversation went away from my sneaky brother.  "I heard that you put a video of your music on the blog," she said.
    "Yeah, oh and mom agreed to let me tape her playing the drums!  I'll post that on Saturday."
     "People won't believe it." My sister-in-law giggled. 
    "What have you been up to lately?" I asked.
    "I'm writing a paper about the recipe for a good marriage.  I can only pick two ingredients.  Love and . . . I'm still thinking about it."
    "That's tough."
    "I know," she said, and the conversation ended shortly after.
    All day I thought about her recipe.  I know she'll think of a good one since she's such a great cook, but what two things would I pick?  Everyone wants a fatefully happy marriage . . .

    I called some people, my guru-like friends.  
    They voted for:
Love & Fidelity
Love & Money
Trust & Friendship
Love & Sex (that was my father a guy--shocker)
Love & Compatibility (that was me)

    I wondered what Cade would say, and laughed.  I did some research then, and found the top five reasons people get divorced.
    They are:
High Expectations 



Sex and Attraction 

Family pressure

    What's funny is that the people I called were pretty right on.  No wonder they're practically gurus!
    I called Cade later.  "What are the two most important ingredients for a good marriage?" I asked.  I would have bet a million bucks he would have said, 'Love and Sex,' or after reading that comic, maybe, 'Love and Prozac.'
    He paused for a minute before saying.  "Love . . . and friendship.  Why, what would you have said?"
    "Love and compatibility."
    "Compatibility?  Are you serious?  You're with me for . . . compatibility?"
    I felt like Spock, and my logic was wonderful!  I decided to try something daring.  "Fine, love and friendship."  BUT what I really thought is how 'compatibility' means each person is willing to compromise!  
    "Yep, glad you agree," he said.  "It is love and friendship."
    Ha ha! I proved my theory right again--it is love and compatibility!  He felt happier because I'd verbally compromised; I felt great because I was right.  I think we're in for the long haul.

    What two ingredients would you pick?


  1. Could it be the same ingredient twice?? Sex and some more sex ;) lolzz...just being wicked..okay, now seriously...Love and friendship!
    I hate to compromise...that is not me would not pick that one!:P
    Like always, awesome post!:)

  2. Great blog entry, really funny and poignant! I think that compatibility and friendship go hand in hand - can't have one without the other - so I think you're both right =D But seriously, very thoughtprovoking. It made me smile.

  3. Love and Love
    Love who you're with...and don't forget to love yourself
    Or some bull-caca like that.

  4. And lovely guest post!
    I need to have you do that for me some time.

  5. I have to say that Branden and I decided on Love and Friendship before we read what Cade said. I can easily vouch that money is definitely not a contender because I'm happily married to student and musician in a country that won't let me work and only lets him work part time so I don't think we could get any poorer! This affects our marriage none whatsoever! I think if you are in love and are friends then it automatically includes trust, fidelity and compatibility. (Oh and it makes the sex great too!)

  6. Having never been married, I don't think I'm qualified to respond to this question. (I do have, however, a number of friends who have been married for forty to fifty years!)

    Friendship seems so important to me. And for me, a large part of why I'm attracted to a friend is his or her sense of humor. I think that without a sense of humor, life can beat us down. It can defeat us. When we lack humor, every bump in the road becomes a major obstacle.

    So love and friendship that's seasoned with humor. That's my answer.

  7. Testing comment posting.

  8. 1. 2. 3. testing complete. We have connection Rodger, over and out.

  9. I've been married for 40+ years. (My hubby says, "40 wonderful years.") If you ask me the first 5 were a real test, and I don't mean a road test. (Hubby just left the room) You can't let him or her run the show or your partner won't respect you. So let 'em have it ever so often to let them know that nobody is in charge. In a marriage nobody should be chief.

  10. IT HAS TO BE FRIENDSHIP!! After being married to my husband for 56 1/2 years, a little (?) of the spark may have gone out of our marriage but we are still best friends--& we laugh a lot!

  11. We've only been married for two years, but I'd have to say love and friendship and compatablity and Gin all have their place. I think as long as you have a best freind, the rest is a lot easier. However, Veal, I'd have to say that compatability is right up there. I mean, it's probably better for nudists if they don't marry personal shoppers and all that...

  12. I'm gonna go with compassion and patience because they were the first to come to mind. Trust and friendship takes time to build. Communication and the ability to compromise takes practice. Love comes in many flavors and isn't always there and isn't always healthy. Sex and passion can come and go and isn't always physically possible. But compassion and patience lets you see beyond yourself and your needs and wants even when things are tough and you just want to give up. So yeah. I'm gonna stick with those.

  13. Okay, that's hilarious. You two are clearly meant for each other.

  14. So, maybe you are swaying me toward the love & friendship answer LOL!!! You have some pretty good arguments going on here. I do think compassion is up there though. If this happened to be a Leprechaun wish I could see it going wrong if I didn't say the perfect words :0)

  15. Love and sex for sure! I've heard People cheat because they're not getting any....just sayin.

  16. I've never been on a date but I still want to comment. I've watched enough movies and TV shows with realistic-looking couples (well, realistic for the most part). One thing I've noticed about many of these couples is that they sometimes lack communication. So I'd probably say Love & Communication. I've witnessed it with my parents occasionally so that's my back-up if you don't find the fictional couples a good resource.

    Can't wait to read what Shane and Cade have planned for ya ;)

  17. That's a hard question, but I think I would recommend: communication (be quick to listen and slow to answer, sort of thing); and, respect (if you think your partner is an idiot, then you shouldn't be hooked together). Sex and love are also part of marriage, but they are the magnetic attractions, while the ones I listed are the glue.

  18. Yep you guys are lifers.. lol

  19. Peanut Butter and Jelly.