Thursday, April 12, 2012

Two hilarious side notes

Two funny things happened yesterday. 
Let me explain . . .

I know the last thing anyone wants to read, is about my boob problems--again.  But something happened.  No, I didn't get implants.  No, the miracle grow I've been stuffing in my bra didn't start working.  This crazy thing happened at the store.
    I went shopping at multiple places for a training bra--FOR MY DAUGHTER.  The first cashier asked if I was looking for myself--I didn't buy anything there.  She didn't mean it rude or anything (I hope).  It did make me giggle because when I got home and checked my blog stats, someone found my blog yesterday by searching "size A or boobs in training."  I'm not sure why this made me smile, but it did.  
    Maybe my boobs aren't really smaller than two mosquito bites.  Maybe they're just "in training."  After all, many people tell me that boobs either stretch like pancakes or magically grow with age.  This is gonna be great! I just know it.  Because I don't have an A minus any more.  Some google genius had it right all along--I'm still in training.

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    So, since I'm putting everything out there, let me tell you about another thing that happened.  
     A man got VERY angry with me.  I had a bunch of groceries, and was so busy keeping the babies buckled, staying in line and putting my groceries on the conveyer, I failed to notice the man behind me or the fact that he only held one item.  "You should let me go first!" he accused, pointing at me.
   "Oh."  I stopped mid-smile and looked at him.  "Ummm.  Sure.  I guess.  It looks like you only have one item."
    "Yep.  You're a bright one, you are!"  He pushed past me and after the cashier frowned at Mr. Grump, she beamed in my direction as if she might save the moment.  "Elisa, your big book signing is this week.  Are you excited?"
    "Yeah.  Cade's even paying for me to have my hair done.  I'm getting it colored for the first time in years!  Plus, it'll be a break from the kids.  I don't even know if I'll sell anything, but as long as I get a huge coffee and a few hours of peace, it's gonna be golden!"
    She laughed.  "No joke.  That sounds great.  I hope you'll get a big turn-out."
    At this point The Grump turned to me.  "Signing?" he asked.
    The cashier piped in.  "Elisa's a local author.  You should read her book, The Golden Sky."
    I can't even tell you how funny this is to me, but the man's demeanor changed.  "An author?  Wow.  You know," he paused, "Maybe I should have let you go first.  Sure I only had one item, but you got those kids."  He scratched his chin before paying the cashier.  "A real author," he mumbled.  "When are you doing the signing?"
    "This Friday.  The thirteenth.  I'll be playing my violin and everything."  I winked and couldn't stop wondering if that cranky man would actually come to visit with me.  I bet he's hilarious when you get to know him.  Anyone who can turn on a dime, they're part shape-shifter and that's epic.


    Did anything out of the norm happen to you this week?  

For more info about my signing schedule, please go HERE
 

26 comments:

  1. LOL on both stories! Kudo to your great cashier for pointing out your celebrity status to Mr. (Star-struck) Grumpy! I hope he shows up for your signing. My out-of-the-norm story: I was getting Chinese food the other day, and the young Chinese girl said to me, "You must have been very beautiful when you were young." I think she meant it as a compliment. Thank you? It made me chuckle.

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  2. Out of the norm? I have no Norm. Norm left years ago when I married Dr. X. I shoulda married Norm. Nice guy. Good butt.

    Love,
    Janie

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  3. LOL at the training bra crack, I'm sure it was meant in a nice way..hahaha. Interesting how people change their tune fast too when they learn things.

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  4. I haven't been around to comment, but I read your pieces in my email and I always enjoy your stories. I hope your signing is a smashing success!

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  5. Hah. I wish we had met a few years ago. I used to be in charge of the online department for a very well known bra company. I could have hooked you up with the employee discount...lord knows it wasn't much use to me. :)

    Anyway, great story with the old man. I love how the cashier came in and saved the day. I truly envy your ability to get out there and just talk to people.

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  6. Only if you count picking through the heads of the other three residents of my house for lice...otherwise, SSDD.

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  7. that sound like the stuff happen here alot
    i am disabled and one idiot came up to me and told me to get out of t he
    handicapped parking and low and behold the cop was patrolling the lot a wwallmart one and ask me for my paper and then i gave him he turn around and gave the guy a ticket for hassling handicap but you have a great singing and then i hope you do not meet the g ugy again

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  8. Doug tried to have me committed again this week, so I guess for me it's nothing out of the norm. I lead a dull life.

    When are you coming to Texas???

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  9. I had sextuplets, qualified for every single event in the Olympics & was elected president of Mars. You know--same old, same old..........

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  10. Now that was a super cashier...and a loyal fan, too. Shapeshifter man--it would be interesting to see if he shows up. I haven't had anything out of the norm this past week that I can think of. But that isn't a bad thing in my world. ;)

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  11. Just because you have one item does not automatically give you front of the line priviledges, getting there first does...Game on!

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  12. Your stories crack me up girl and make my day at the same time. Make sure you tell that cashier that a friend in NC said she deserves a raise looking after her customers like she does.
    Have a great rest of the day and sweet dreams tonight.

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  13. funny how someones demeanor changes. so being rude to you was ok til he found out you were an author. Shame on him!!

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  14. Funny. Everyone wants to know someone if their famous. Imagine if we all treated each other like celebraties?

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  15. Hilarious! It must be sad to be grumpy like that!

    Oh, and the boobs getting bigger with age? They get bigger probably because most of us with age get fatter and boobs go along for the ride! :(

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  16. How much you want to bet he went home and googled your book? If he has a computer that is. LOL I want to give a thumbs up to Tracy. If there were enough one item people in line pretty soon you could end up at the back! Just saying!

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  17. I love this story!! I have been a cashier in one of my many past lives, and I can tell you that there sure are a bunch of surley people out there...it is comical how he changed his tune so quickly...maybe he will show up to the signing :) Good Luck...I will be getting my daughter ready for Prom that night...

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  18. I can totally relate to your daughter boob story. Let's just say we are in the same boat!!! LOL

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  19. Elisa! I'm loving your blog--just sorry I didn't check it out sooner. You guys need to be sure to come to the family reunion so we can hear in person about your book writing successes! I'm excited to read your books!! Hope to see you and the family there--June 23! Denise will be getting invitations out.

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  20. Here's my meaningful comment . . .congratulations!

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  21. I love your blog, these stories make me laugh.

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  22. Thanks for the laugh! I would of looked at him and said "for that smart remark, you don't deserve to go first" - but then I don't have kids and don't have to be a good example. Ya know, while I'm at I'll give him the "mom look" and shake my finger at him while I'm at it! LOL

    Congratulations. =D

    Tina 'the book lady'

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  23. A training bra for a 10 year old? I don't even think I got one until I was maybe 11 or 12? I can't remember. I just know that I started wearing a bra around that age (12?) and have pretty much worn one every since. As for size, I somewhat have the opposite problem, though I guess that comes with being big everywhere else...

    The fact that Mr. Grump pulled a 180 after finding out you're an author is kind of a good thing - it means he appreciates books (ya know, since he respected an author. I have kooky logic sometimes.)

    Out of the norm? I wrote a blog post that isn't Wordless Wednesday or Thankful Thursday - does that count?

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  24. HAHA I love reading your stories. They are so humorous at times. For some reason the bra thing with the cashier reminded me of when I was in high school and my mother and I moved to California. My mother was in her mid forties at the time and we were trying to find someone to help us in our apartment search. When visiting one lady who said she could help us, the lady began telling us about senior living places. LOL My mother got really upset and lets just say we never went back to that lady for help.

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  25. Your an astute observer of human behavior and have a great way of framing life's ironies. I guess that's why your a writer! I was racking my brain trying to find something that was out of the norm this week and I couldn't, man my life is so boring. ;(

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