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A GENTLEMAN ALWAYS TIPS HIS HAIR TO A LADY
I just had to tell you about my crazy luck.When I decide to do something, I go all out. I printed over a 1000 flyers to advertise my signings and vowed to pass them out at the schools I talked at AND bring them every place I could. That probably raised the odds for strange things happening.
The point is, this is my first big signing. I felt like the Barnes and Noble manager took a risk on me since my book is so new and I want to show him that I can do this. Maybe I won't sell a ton of books, but hopefully more people will come into the store from all of the advertising. Plus, we're going to have a ball. I can't wait to talk with the people who come in. This is about life experience--making my life count--making Zeke's life memorable, even now.
Well, back to the point, I went everywhere putting up flyers. Now, if you don't remember, I've run into my ex-boyfriend a couple of times in the last year. Every time I see him, I freak out and act like I don't remember him. I know, it's messed up, but it's reflex--or something!
I really don't know what my problem is. Once I saw him. He came up to me and I turned the other direction and walked away. I need to act like an adult--for once, but I'm having issues instead.
The last time this happened, I vowed to never do it again. I'm a nice, social person. What the Hell is wrong with me? Next time, I'd be very nice, apologize for the other run-ins and wish him well. I mean really, I couldn't even remember why I broke up with him.
So, the other day I waited in my car for the manager of a gym to show up. I read a few blogs, even if I couldn't comment. It was still nice catching up. Anyway, the manager walked inside and as I hurried to the front door--which had a mirror on it--the door opened and full-on hit me!
I laugh at pain, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to feel bad for hitting me. Instantly I thought of something to say; I'd laugh and spout, 'Wow, they sure make these things hard' or 'that wasn't as bad as I've always imagined.' Well, I was about to say that, when I looked up. There stood my ex. He'd just finished working out. And he actually looked happy to have hit me!
"You . . . YOU HIT ME WITH A DOOR!" I accused, not being fun like Pippi Longstocking, not at all. What was his deal. I broke his heart, so he wanted to break my face?!
"Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. What are you doing here anyway?"
So this was my fault? Because I wanted to post flyers at the gym--that's why he hit me?
"I'm advertising a book signing."
He snatched a flyer from my hand--a whole flyer--that klepto! "Elisa, how have you been do--"
"Have a nice day!" I interrupted him and burst into the entrance. He kept the flyer and I fumed. Normally, I would have said "Elisa?" like I didn't know who that was, but my name was on the flyer--stupid luck! That was the end of it. I turned into a beast. I'm one of the nicest people around and now I know why. I take all of my pent-up rage and send it toward this poor man.
"Why did you do that?" Jenn--the pimptrest from Indie Supporter asked.
"Well . . ." I thought about it and suddenly remembered why I broke up with the guy! "Maybe there is a reason."
"Spill it, Cupcake," she said because she always calls me names of food--since she's EPIC!
"We sat at this really fancy diner. He leaned over, grabbed my hand and smiled. He said something like, 'I have the best time with you, Elisa. You might not be the prettiest girl I've dated, but you sure are the funnest.' I told him we needed to break up right after that and he kept asking, 'What did I do wrong? What did I do?' Some people are so clueless."
"What a jerk. Did you tell him he wasn't the smartest guy you ever dated, and he sure was the dumbest? Next time you see that man, you should hit HIM with the door."
I giggled because Jenn is so tough. One day she's going to train me to be a ninja.
As far as the ex goes. . . The truth is, I need to be nice and figure out why I can't be an adult FOR TWO SECONDS. I might get to rectify the situation soon. After all, he did take that flyer.
Oh and since many of you are just like family and you live thousands of miles away, is it silly that I wanted to show you the clothes I got for tonight?
I normally look terrible, with my hair in a ponytail and makeup just on the one eye I had time to work on. Well, I got my hair weaved yesterday (for the second time in my life) and now I have a new outfit! This is all like a dream. Honestly, I feel like the author, Cinderella, the one who doesn't even need a pumpkin!
Here's what I'll be wearing tonight:
Fishducky, we LOVE these masks you gave us. I just keep them on the wall since the kids like to wear them and put them back where they can see them. So fun!
Anyway, For more info about my signing schedule, please go HERE.
I hope I'll get to see some of you local Utahns there!
Utahns? Sounds German.
ReplyDeleteHave fun!! :o)
Wow. I'm just glad the door didn't break your nose! Yikes.
ReplyDeleteYou life sounds like a TV sitcom!
Oh, and I hope your signing goes well.
ReplyDeleteLove the outfit! Good luck and have fun at the signing. You look beautiful!
ReplyDeleteOh and that ex-bf is a little thick, the nerve. Maybe next time you see him just say hello and be like, "Now where do I know you from again? You look familiar" LOL
Well at least he took a flyer.
ReplyDeleteNow what are you going to do if he shows up for an autograph? "Dear Jerk, Thanks for being my biggest fan. Love (not really!) Elisa"?? :)
ps: you look fabulous in that outfit. Congrats on tonight and good luck. I hope the place is packed for you.
You look gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteHi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog!
Have a nice day!
Your new outfit is cute. You look beautiful in it, but then again, I think you always look beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYour ex needs to have his eyes examined, examing his head would probably be a waste of time.
Honey, I don't think you have to be nice to the ex. He's from long ago and far away. He lost his chance because he's stupid. You don't have to pamper him. Your hair looks great. You are the prettiest AND the funniest girl I know (except for The Hurricane).
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Dammit!! The pictures are blocked here. I'll see you after work!! Oh...which Barnes and Noble is it??
ReplyDeleteIt's the one in Layton. Right by antelope drive. I'm so excited to meet you ;)
DeleteIt was SO good to meet you and so nice of you to pretend you didn't notice I'd had a liquid dinner. Your pictures don't do you justice. You're even more gorgeous in person. I'm glad the signing was a success and congrats on crossing off another item on your bucket list. :)
DeleteYou are the gorgeous one! After you left, the manager asked if you were my sister LOL! She said we looked just alike. I smiled so big. That was the best compliment ever!
DeleteIt's no wonder you ditched that weirdo who has no taste in beautiful women.
ReplyDeleteGirl you look fantastic in that outfit and strut your stuff Elisa.
MEN! You can't live with them--& you can't KILL them!
ReplyDeleteYou would look beautiful wearing a schmata (old rag)!
The masks would go nicely with your new outfit.
I'm glad the girls are still enjoying tham.
good luck at the book signing!
ReplyDeleteLMAO yeah that guy has no clue, some people don't think before they speak. Great outfit, sure you'll be a hit tonight, hope many come!
ReplyDeleteFishducky stole my line! LOL. You look fabulous! Don't even worry about the ex. He's yesterdays story - history - done. Write your issues or feeling out in a book. That's what I do. Make him a character and anything is game. :D
ReplyDeleteI know his comment was crass (and obviously very poor judgement) but is that the only reason you dumped him? Seems harsh. And everybody acts a little weird when they see an ex. I once pretended that I was a helicopter pilot when I saw one of mine. She saw through that straight away and called me a dickhead. I said that's what she called me when we split up and she needed some new material. Anyway, good look with the signing, you'll be great and you look sensational.
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty much the only reason. That and I figured if he was so easy to break up with, we weren't meant to be. ;)
DeleteGreat outfit, Elisa! You look wonderful!
ReplyDeleteAll the best tonight!
If I mail you my book, would you please sign it, and mail it back to me? ((Just kidding...!!))
Have fun! And don't forget to take a few minutes to be proud of your success.
Patricia
Congrats! Congrats! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the ex will not modify behavior in response to experience, he'll just stay ignorant....but so what, you look great & you've got a book signing & he doesn't ;).
ReplyDelete~Mary
Best of luck with your big new venture! I'm sure it will go splendidly. If he shows up you could always give him the blog address and let him read about why you left him. You look beautiful!! :):)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, everyone. I have a great feeling about tonight. I think it'll be a ton of fun. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou look great! And I really like that top. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou are gonna do great tonight so don't worry about a thing. As for the ex he's a motard so no worries. I'll see you at the big event tonight my friend and good luck.
ReplyDeleteOh and I love your new outfit!
ReplyDeleteSuch an elegant confident young woman, Elisa! Good luck on the signings!
ReplyDeleteYou know, that poor guy will remain clueless for the rest of his life, poor thing. All the best with the book signing. This is so fabulous and you look great.
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny! I guess can relate to your reaction when you run into your ex. It is like fight or flight in a way. I know the book signing is over as I am writing this-but I hope it went well. I am sure you will write about it and I can't wait to hear all about it. Wishing you much success- your outfit looks beautiful and so do you. :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
P.S. Wish I lived closer to go to a signing- so fun!
Congrats on the signing! That is a great accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteAnd....I love your shirt. Beautiful color.
(Wendy T on rafflecopter forms)
Congratulations! That's so great! Hope you have plenty more signings.
ReplyDeleteBonny
Huge Mother's Day Bash!
Oh, Elisa, if only Utah weren't so far away from California! Good luck, and have fun! You deserve to enjoy every minute of it!
ReplyDeleteYou look gorgeous, and by the way I think he might've planned the whole "hit you in the face with a door" incident because his broken heart never healed ;)
ReplyDeleteHope your first signing went well!
ReplyDeleteWith a comment like 'I have the best time with you, Elisa. You might not be the prettiest girl I've dated, but you sure are the funnest.' he so deserved to be dumped!!! JERK -- remember you are beautiful:)
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful.I'm sure he kicks himself every time he sees you and if he doesn't, I will!
ReplyDeleteFunny to hear someone else comment about avoiding an ex. I did the same thing, but I was at a common friends wedding. So, it was like 4 hours of avoidance! We both stayed clear of each other and the whole time I kept thinking how immature we both were being. Oh well, maybe I'll grow up eventually.
ReplyDelete