Friday, April 13, 2012


Here's the famous Fishducky!

    My ears were constantly popping—like when you’re on a plane, but I wasn’t on a plane—so I went to see an ENT.   He said my Eustachian tubes were blocked, cleaned them out & inserted some tubing to keep them open for a while.  He asked me if I smoked & I told him I did.  He said that he had another patient with the same condition.  The doctor said that it wasn’t a good idea, but that the guy won bar bets because of his ear problem.  You’ve heard the expression, “Blow it out your ear”?  Well, he--& I--could!  With our tubes, we just had to inhale some smoke, close our mouth, pinch our nose shut & blow.  Smoke would come out of our ears!  I only tried it once or twice—I HAD to show Bud (& myself) I could really do it.
My dad’s given name was Angel Kiewitsky.  He always went by the name Archie Keyes.  When I was starting college he decided to have it changed legally.  Off went our family to the courthouse.  As I recall, almost the entire conversation between the judge & my father went like this: Judge: “Your name is Angel Kiewitsky?”  AK: “Yes, Your Honor.”  Judge: “And you want it changed to Archie Keyes?”  AK: “Yes, sir.”  Judge: “I don’t blame you.  Granted.”
My son & my son-in-law are very good friends.  Some time ago, they were having a minor argument—more like a difference of opinion.  My son-in-law was going on & on when Blake interrupted him to ask, “I don’t understand.  What is your point?”  My son-in-law answered, “Exactly—I have NO point!”  I think that answer alone makes him eligible to be a member of our family.
Children Are So Literally Minded Dept: The Broadway musical “Beauty and the Beast” was playing in our city.  Our oldest granddaughter was about 4 or 5 at the time & I decided to take her to see it.  She had been to movies but never a stage show.  I wanted her to know what she was going to see.  I told her it would be a lot like a movie, with people singing & dancing.  I said the difference would be that the people were live & real & not on a screen.  I added that EVERYONE would be wearing makeup & costumes.  She was very excited, but also pensive.  She thought for a minute & then said, “I guess I could wear my costume from Halloween—I think it still fits.”
Do you remember the comedians, George Burns & Jack Benny?  They were very close friends.  One year on Benny’s birthday, Burns sent him a beautifully wrapped gift.  It was a turtleneck cashmere sweater.  The only thing that makes that interesting or amusing—it was being worn (yes, inside the box) by a live turtle!
We went to an upscale Beverly Hills restaurant to celebrate my son-in-law’s birthday.  An older gentleman (maybe 80-85) was having dinner with his wife.  He was wearing a visor & his thick salt & pepper hair, about 2” long, was sticking up behind the visor.  There was a party of 12 at the table next to him.  The people at the 2 tables were apparently chatting back & forth, because at one point the older man smiled at them, rose & tipped his visor to one of the ladies in a gentlemanly manner.  I couldn’t believe what I saw.  The hair, which was not his, but a part of the visor, came off!  It was part of a baseball cap, with the hair sewn on top so it would look realistic.  He then put it back on his shiny bald head.  With his hair intact, he sat down & resumed eating.  It’s a good thing I was drinking club soda & not red wine.  Everyone within spitting distance would have been wearing merlot.
See you next week----fishducky