My ears were constantly popping—like when you’re on a plane, but I wasn’t on a plane—so I went to see an ENT. He said my Eustachian tubes were blocked, cleaned them out & inserted some tubing to keep them open for a while. He asked me if I smoked & I told him I did. He said that he had another patient with the same condition. The doctor said that it wasn’t a good idea, but that the guy won bar bets because of his ear problem. You’ve heard the expression, “Blow it out your ear”? Well, he--& I--could! With our tubes, we just had to inhale some smoke, close our mouth, pinch our nose shut & blow. Smoke would come out of our ears! I only tried it once or twice—I HAD to show Bud (& myself) I could really do it.
My dad’s given name was Angel Kiewitsky. He always went by the name Archie Keyes. When I was starting college he decided to have it changed legally. Off went our family to the courthouse. As I recall, almost the entire conversation between the judge & my father went like this: Judge: “Your name is Angel Kiewitsky?” AK: “Yes, Your Honor.” Judge: “And you want it changed to Archie Keyes?” AK: “Yes, sir.” Judge: “I don’t blame you. Granted.”
My son & my son-in-law are very good friends. Some time ago, they were having a minor argument—more like a difference of opinion. My son-in-law was going on & on when Blake interrupted him to ask, “I don’t understand. What is your point?” My son-in-law answered, “Exactly—I have NO point!” I think that answer alone makes him eligible to be a member of our family.
Children Are So Literally Minded Dept: The Broadway musical “Beauty and the Beast” was playing in our city. Our oldest granddaughter was about 4 or 5 at the time & I decided to take her to see it. She had been to movies but never a stage show. I wanted her to know what she was going to see. I told her it would be a lot like a movie, with people singing & dancing. I said the difference would be that the people were live & real & not on a screen. I added that EVERYONE would be wearing makeup & costumes. She was very excited, but also pensive. She thought for a minute & then said, “I guess I could wear my costume from Halloween—I think it still fits.”
Do you remember the comedians, George Burns & Jack Benny? They were very close friends. One year on Benny’s birthday, Burns sent him a beautifully wrapped gift. It was a turtleneck cashmere sweater. The only thing that makes that interesting or amusing—it was being worn (yes, inside the box) by a live turtle!
We went to an upscale Beverly Hills restaurant to celebrate my son-in-law’s birthday. An older gentleman (maybe 80-85) was having dinner with his wife. He was wearing a visor & his thick salt & pepper hair, about 2” long, was sticking up behind the visor. There was a party of 12 at the table next to him. The people at the 2 tables were apparently chatting back & forth, because at one point the older man smiled at them, rose & tipped his visor to one of the ladies in a gentlemanly manner. I couldn’t believe what I saw. The hair, which was not his, but a part of the visor, came off! It was part of a baseball cap, with the hair sewn on top so it would look realistic. He then put it back on his shiny bald head. With his hair intact, he sat down & resumed eating. It’s a good thing I was drinking club soda & not red wine. Everyone within spitting distance would have been wearing merlot.
See you next week----fishducky