Monday, December 26, 2011

The Tooth Fairy Didn't Show up!

    The Hippie lost one of her front teeth a few weeks ago.  She knew the other one would fall out soon and she'd be "toof-ess" as she said. But she refused to wiggle it until Christmas Eve.  That's when all hell broke loose!
    "I need the guide!" the Hippie told her sister, the Scribe. 
    That cracked me up because "the guide" is nothing more than a silly book.

    They sat and read it together.


    "The tooth fairy must be loaded," the Hippie said.  "Can you imagine how much change she has?  There are millions of kids in the world.  So, that's at least a million dollars!"
    I giggled--softly so they wouldn't stop talking.  
    "Can you imagine the gifts she'd leave on Christmas Eve!" the Hippie said.
    "You know what," the Scribe said, "you're totally right.  I'll get your tooth out, even if it kills me."
    Have you ever seen a kid tie string to their tooth and a doorknob?  Have you seen them tie it to a dog?  Have you seen them run around the yard screaming because the dog won't slow down AND the tooth won't come out?
    I have . . . it wasn't pretty.  But somehow, at the end of Christmas Eve, the Hippie's tooth was out and she looked stunning without her two front teeth.  "That was a crazy day," the Hippie said.
    "No kidding.  Sleep good darlings," I told them.
    "Daddy works construction," the Zombie Elf said as I prepared to walk from the room.
    "Yes, Honey."
    "This is Daddy's old pillow."
    "Yes, Honey," I said.
    "This is Daddy's old blanket."
    "YES, Honey."
    "Daddy helped the Hippie pull out her tooth today because Daddy's strong.  That's why Daddy works construction."
    "GO TO SLEEP!"
    So, I shut the door and my four babies fell asleep.
    "What should we give the Hippie?" I asked Cade.  "This is scary.  She's expecting something huge."
    "Didn't you know," Cade smiled, "the tooth fairy doesn't work during the holidays.  Don't you think it would be easier for Santa to sub since he's visiting everyone anyway?"
    "Oh, yeah!"  I nodded.

    The next day, it was no surprise when the Hippie found this under her pillow on Christmas morning. 


    What cracks me up about this, is that the Hippie seemed more excited about finding Rudolph's bell under her pillow, than getting a DSI!
    "What's in the package?" the Scribe asked her sister.
    "Three dollars," the Hippie said. "But I wonder how much dentists charge for fake teeth."
    "Why?" the Scribe asked.
    "I've only been toof-ess for a day, but I want my two front teeth back."
     "People always talk about the real meaning of Christmas, and now you know what it's all about," the Scribe said.  "All you want for Christmas are your two front teeth, your two front teeth.  All you lost for Christmas were your two front teeth . . . And now that really sucks."  
    "Don't make me punch YOUR teeth out," the Hippie said, and I laughed so hard it was hard to breathe.

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!