Sunday, December 18, 2011

Funny Christmas Letter

    Have you ever gotten a crazy Christmas letter?  You know the kind, with the family updates that make you feel like pond scum.  I normally love Christmas letters (real ones that aren't there to serve us lesser beings with a reason to be depressed).  But the other day, Miss Priss graced us with a gift that she left in the EXACT spot where the trash had been!
    If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here: A Dog Got into the Trash
    Anyway, she'd attached a Christmas letter to some cookies.  The paper practically shone because she'd gloated TOO MUCH!  That woman is mean, but in such a nice way.  We didn't eat the cookies she left, since I was terrified they either had laxatives or Viagra in them.

    Well, Fishducky must have met  someone like Miss Priss.  Check out this AWESOME, beautifully sarcastic letter she gave out one year.
    Thanks for sharing, Fishducky.




Funny! We do get these kinds of letters (not the sarcastic kind) - they don't make me feel bad. They actually make me feel like a good parent - I can't imagine pressuring my kids to perform all year for the sake of the Christmas letter.

Ours would read something like: Tonja has managed to alienate or be alienated by two of three grandparents. Way to go Tonja! Husband is working hard on his to-do list from last January - keep working, honey. The kids have managed to not entirely get sucked into the vortex of rediculous high school drama and middle school violence. And the babes finally got his poop in the potty instead of on the floor. Yay us!!!

hahaha such a fun letter and what very nice hand writing fishducky has too.

And I doubt there were laxatives in the cookies. After all she wouldn't want you to have more poopy diapers on the porch..haha

That is so funny and so like our Fran!


Absolutely brilliant! Great letter.

I don't know why you didn't include this explanation--even though it's true I'm amazing & awesome, I wouldn't want your followers to think I could ever be like Miss Priss!

Thought you could use a good laugh. In 1979, when I wrote this, it was meant to be a joke just for Bud because I was tired of getting Xmas newsletters that said my husband was just elected God or my child just turned 6 & he's already Phi Beta Kappa. It's based on truth, as most humor is. Nancy WAS studying in Europe, Matt WAS at Northridge & worked for a sewer company. The “chunnel” (the tunnel across the English Channel) had not yet been built—I don’t know if it had even been planned at the time. Blake HAD just gotten his driver's license. General Motors was doing a lot better than they are now & we DID buy a treadmill--also, we had a dog, Pepi. Bud liked it so much we sent it out with our cards. After receiving it, a friend told me that her husband asked her how I could brag like that. I liked her simple explanation: “It’s satire, stupid!”


Sounds like something my sister-in-law would write. But she would be totally serious, no sarcasm at all. Very cute! I should do something like that next year since I don't even do Christmas cards.

Oh, I loved it! It's a perfect kind of letter to send to friends who tell you every little thing they did during the year that makes you yawn and pitch it in the trash. It was sure fun to laugh out loud like that... :-)

Hahahaha! Gotta love Fishducky!! That is brilliant!

This whole thing made me happy. Including the comments. It's satire stupid!
I'm glad I'm not the only one to roll her eyes and feel inadequate around this time of year.

I don't think I've ever gotten a Christmas letter before

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas letters. Specifically the letters we get every year from my husbands grandpa. He's the intellectual type that gloats about his success. He wouldn't even play patty-cake with my niece at Thanksgiving because he wasn't "going to clap at mediocrity." Yeah, he said that!

Love it. It reminds me of those friends that constantly brag that their kids do more and are better whenever you say one thing about your own...brilliant! !!!!

I don't think I've ever made it all the way through one of these letters. I usually get about a paragraph in before my brain declares "don't care!" and my eyes glaze over. :)

Your book is incredible. I will review it, when I can find the words that do justice to it. Sometimes after I read a book, I can review it immediately; other times, it could be a month. But I am doing my best to promote "Golden Sky" on my Facebook, Twitter, etc. I was also thinking I might hold off til the A to Z challenge and write a review then, because it would be sure to get a reading by lots of people.

I have had moments when I have felt like writting such a letter to members of my husbands

Haha - love it! Thanks for the laugh!

I'm not sure we've ever received letters and cards like this but we have received some very creative ones. Right on Fishducky! :D

Yeah I hate those braggers too. Fuckers.

hahahaha That letter is too funny! Did they say "fiddlesticks"? lol!

OMG!! Soooo funny! That is how some of those letters make you feel. I have a relative like that. Must not have been a banner year because she didn't even send a Christmas letter this year. ;)

Love the letter example you left. I hate those Christmas letters (the serious ones). I look at them and think: Well, that's great for you. Do I look like I needed to know that?

Another great post :D

I have gotten a few of these over the years but not nearly as fun as this one...hope you don't mind but I have to share this...Happy Holidays!!

I freaking love Fishducky! She's such a rock star!

Fishducky, get a blog already! :)

I couldn't think of one exciting thing to say in our newletter so I decided just to go with Photo cards. They say it all anyways...put on a few pounds, got married, still alive...yadda, yadda, yadda...

Dear Elise and Fishducky,
This letter was a hoot and a hootlet! I have to admit to getting letters at Christmas that sometimes have made me feel like a real slouch! Not because my friends are bragging about themselves and their accomplishments. They don't do that. But many do travel and I find myself wishing that I'd gone to Ireland or visited the Grand Canyon or flew to Tuscany. What keeps me from doing so? Money and Meneries!

I bet Fishducky's friends laughed aloud as they read this and probably chuckled over the Christmas turkey. She brings so much laughter into all our lives with her comments. If I were to write a letter this year it would be about my new blogging friends. When I spoke of Fishducky I would say that "she's done more to promote Dulcy's book through her comments than anyone could imagine!" What a blessing she is.


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