Sunday, October 16, 2011

The True Point of Fighting

     Side note: before the story of the day, I had to tell you, I'm walking on air!  I hit 1000 followers.  And how cool is that since my first book will be published in a little over 30 days?!
    For info on that, and if you'd like to be involved, please go here: "The Golden Sky" Blogfest!

    To celebrate the 1000 followers, I've decided to share another embarrassing story.

    Several years ago Cade and I were having problems.  Marriage isn't easy.  Even if you marry someone who's wonderful, every day IS NOT a frolic in the park.  Cade knows that I'm a constant tease.  I know he needs non-blogging attention from time to time.  
    The list goes on, but we love each other (at least I hope he loves me even when I make him be in vlogs).

Monkey Man

Ask Your Spouse


    Anyway, several years ago, we were having a not-so-lovely bump in our marriage.  A friend from high school somehow got my number, and I was delighted to hear from him.
    "How are you?" I asked.
    "Wonderful," Jerry said. "I just got married to the most wonderful girl.  We don't know many couples though and we're wondering if you and Cade would like to go on a double date with us."
    "Oh . . . how nice.  We would love to."  But the truth was, Cade would rather rip off his own toenails, than go on a date with me.
    "Don't you just love being married?" Jerry asked rhetorically. 
    "Oh, yes," I said, which I did.  But I didn't tell him about any of our problems because when someone is first married or dating, you don't want to be the Grim Reaper.  When their spouse leaves the lid off the toothpaste for the first time, then they'll understand.  When their spouse leaves the toilet seat up . . . when their spouse leaves hair in the sink--enough said.
    So, I hung up the phone and went to church later that week.  I stayed after the service and spoke for awhile to the FREE marriage counselor.  Things hardly ever get better than when they're free!
    "I need some help," I told him.  "Would you have time to talk with me and my husband?"
    "Sure," he said.  "But from what you've told me, I don't think your marriage needs counseling yet."
    "O . . . kay," I said.
    "But you can have my number just in case.  My name is Jerry."  He held out his hand and smiled.  He was free and nice, wow I could see why he's going to Heaven.
    Well, the week progressed.  Cade and I got to the boiling point.  He packed his bags and so did I.  The kids had no idea what was going on.  The whole time though, I kept hoping we'd finally talk, patch things up and have some make-up sex time.  After all, what's the point of a good fight if you don't make up?
    But we didn't make up and I just wanted to cry.  In a moment of confusion, I pulled out my cell phone and scanned down to "Jerry's" number.
    "Hello?" a pleasant I'm-going-to-Heaven voice said.
    "I'm in trouble." I sobbed.  "My marriage is failing.  My husband probably found someone else.  He packed his bags and is ready to leave . . .  Do you have any advice for me?"
    "Ummm . . . I've never dealt with something like this before."
    "Sure you have, just tell me what to do."
    "Actually, Elisa.  I just don't know what to say.  I'm not good at things like this."
    "Just tell me!  You're a counselor aren't you?"
    "Well . . . not exactly."
    "Is that why you're free?"
    "I'm not . . . free."
    "You're not?"  Maybe the man wouldn't go to Heaven.  He'd lied AT CHURCH--that's the worst thing ever!  "Wait a minute," I said.  "Who is this again?"
    "Jerry," the guy said a bit confused.  "Jerry from high school."
    I turned into soup.  I wanted to die. 
    "Elisa, I know we were good friends in high school. But you've changed.  This conversation scares me.  We haven't talked in such a long time and now you call me about this."
    I was so embarrassed I hung up the phone and called Cade.  
    At the end of the call, he laughed so hard I thought he'd split open.  "I miss you," Cade said.  "I miss this.  Do you want to go to dinner tonight?"
   "Sure, I guess," I said, so excited, because I knew we were about to make up.  After all, like I wrote above, isn't that the whole point of fighting?