Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Do I have bad luck?

    Do I have bad luck, or in some strange way, is it good luck?
    Yesterday I took my girls to tumbling, and just as I left the parking lot, The Zombie Elf (my three-year-old) said he had to pee.
    "Seriously?" I huffed and turned back toward the shopping center with the tumbling building, a mechanic shop and a gas station.
    On a side note, do you remember me writing about that mechanic shop and the guy who almost died?  Here's that story if you want to check it out:

Wrong Place . . . Wrong Time?  

       "I can't make it," The Zombie Elf screamed like Brave Heart.  "I have to go peeee peeee real bad!"
     There were only a couple options.  He could pee his pants, or I could let him go in the parking lot.
    We were close to a lone parking spot by the second bay of the mechanic shop.  And sometimes when you're a mother, risks must be taken. 
    I lurched to a halt, opened The Zombie's door, told him to take off his Incredible Hulk underwear and pee from the van--at the same angle as the wind!
     But although I waited awhile, the poor kid wouldn't pee.  I did a typical mom thing then.  I talked to him about rushing rivers.  I made a "pssst" sound to make the passing easier.  I sang about raindrops and roses.  I danced--I pleaded!
     It got so bad that I needed to pee, and kept thinking how we could have made it to a toilet.  Worries cluttered my mind.  After all, we waited by the second bay; when I'd been a mechanic, that was always THE WORST bay in the whole damn place.
    I looked up into the sky and refused to turn around, I just had the feeling some person was there.
    Now, the funny thing is that when I looked up, The Zombie Elf finally peed.  I guess he'd just needed me to look away the whole time.  Now I know!
    I helped him put his pants back on.  I sang again, this time about super zombies and children who make my heart shine.
    Mid-song, I turned around, and that's when I decided I might have the craziest luck in the world.  Another truth hit me as well; the second bay really does suck!
    Would you like to know who stood watching me as I sang and danced, as I whispered and cried for my son to pee in A PARKING LOT?
    It was the waiter who thinks I have The Clap!!!

    If you haven't read that story--and you're curious--here it is:  

    I waved and smiled, trying to be the bigger person, but that man just groaned and turned around.  What a jerk--maybe he's served one too many crabby salads!
    So, that was the extent of my excitement yesterday. 
    I keep wondering though, why do these things happen to me?     
    Someone once said I have a flashing sign on my forehead, and all I need to do is turn it off.  Could it be that simple?  The off button does sound delightful, but just a little too boring for my taste anyway.  
   When it really comes down to it, I'll take my luck the way it is, even if I never know what to expect.  Sometimes luck is like beauty; it's all in the eye of the beholder.