Wednesday, December 21, 2011

What's the number to poison control?!

    I had a TERRIBLE day yesterday (which did end up being all right).  But at the beginning, I was terrified.  Do you remember those days when I've written about how the kids practically blew up the washing machine or left me for dead, but then things turned out hilarious?!  A few people commented, saying something like "if that was a good day, I'd hate to see what happens on a bad one."  Well, here goes--get ready for a bad one.

    P. S. If you're here from google and looking for poison control, don't waste time reading this!  Hurry, call the poison experts:  1-800-222-1222 

    So, the day didn't start completely bad.  I did some math and discovered some wonderful things; it just so happened AND I DIDN'T KNOW YET that Doctor Jones was playing with the fish tank chemicals while I was working.  Here's what I was so excited about that I didn't notice what was going on with my baby:
    In one month, my book raised over $200 for those suffering with infant loss this holiday season. It's amazing how hard times can bring so much good if you search for the best. Because of my book, I've been able to donate $760 to this cause so far. Pretty exciting if it will help just one person.  
    For more info about my memoir, a new review went up today.  Here's that link: Family Reviews: The Golden Sky     
    Anyway, checking those numbers was pretty amazing, until I heard the Hippie scream upstairs.  Then, the Scribe screamed.  The Zombie Elf started laughing hysterically and I bolted from my computer and the laundry I'd been "working on."
    What could they be up to?  My heart pounded as the screaming continued with Doctor Jones wailing louder than the rest.  Things must have been bad.  Silence is a sign of the dark side, but screaming is even worse!  That's when I saw Doctor Jones.  

    She'd taken algae killer and practically dumped it into her eyes.  Her face was dark green from the dye.  I put her in the tub and called poison control.
    "What's the name of the product?" the woman asked.  "Who's the manufacturer?"
    I told her and it turned out, there was 75% formaldehyde in the stuff and that can cause clouding and even blindness!
    "Put her in the tub," the woman said.  "Wash her eyes out repeatedly, then take her to the E. R. at once."
    I did what she told me and felt like a terrible mother.  What use were donations to honor Zeke's death, if I couldn't even keep Doctor Jones safe?
    As I drove to the hospital, I called a friend.  "Has something like this ever happened to you?" I asked.
    "Yeah.  Kids can move so fast, especially when you have four. Just breathe. I'll pray for her."
    So, I continued on and the whole time I thought about how darling my baby is.  Here's a video I took of her last month.  She's such a ham.  She can be so serious and yet so silly sometimes.  It just broke my heart thinking of her little dyed green eyes. Seriously--even the whites of her eyes were light green from the stuff!

    So, we got there and they took her right in.  
    "You want the good news, or the bad news first?" the doctor asked after many tests.
    My hands clenched.  I kissed my baby's forehead.
    "The good news," I said.
    "Turns out she is very lucky.  You flushed her eyes so well, all of the chemicals are gone and her PH is normal.  There is no damage and she'll be okay."
    "So, what's the bad news?" I asked.
    "She will have some irritation for the next couple days, but I have some drops to help.  The other thing is . . . and I don't know how to tell you this . . . I think she'll be green for Christmas."
    "The dye they use for the formaldehyde is awfully strong.  I can tell you've washed off as much as you can."
    I turned to my poor, darling baby, who smiled at me like this:

    We had to go shopping later, and I have to tell you, I've heard every joke in the book.  
    "What?" one lady chuckled, "did she want to be the Grinch for Christmas?"
     "What a cute little Smurf," another woman said.
    "The Green Lantern, how epic."  A little boy laughed.
    "No matter what color she is, she's darling!" a cashier had the balls to tell me! 

    Then, after we finished shopping, my sweet mother, who I expected to console us, started laughing so hard.  "If you put her in front of my Christmas tree, she'll blend right in!"
    "Yeah."  I finally smiled.  "I guess she would."
    So, I'm laughing about it today.  Thank God Doctor Jones is all right and this will be a Christmas to remember.  The time my kid dyed herself green for the holidays--ug!  
    Like my father-in-law said yesterday, maybe I won't ever run out of things to blog about.  Plus, I just need to make it one more month and I've blogged every day for an entire year.
    I wanted to ask you the same thing I asked my friend, though; has something like this ever happened to you?  Did your kid ever dye themselves green?


  1. Nope, nothing like this has ever happened to me. Thank you for sharing something you'll laugh about in the future. Can't imagine how you felt at the time though. You handled it so well!

  2. Omg!!!! I am so glad everything is okay! God (and Zeke) were keeping her safe and guarded.

    And no, that doesn't make you a bad mother. If you had poured it down her throat, then you'd be a bad mother. So take a deep breath and smile. You're a good mama!

  3. With four kids it is a wonder that they aren't all green with you laid out in a coma... I have one and have a hard time keeping her from doing dumb stuff. Luckily falling down or bumping her head on everything seem to be her best tricks. You will of course have to whip this charmer out when she is old enough to start dating...

  4. Trying to keep kids out of stuff is like trying to hold back smoke with a shovel. LOL!

  5. I am SO GLAD you were proactive and nothing except a green baby for Christmas are the final results. There are so many things for kids to get into, but you never see the most obvious ones... glad it all turned out okay.

  6. My kids like to color the palms of their hands with markers, and jump off of things to scratch their faces, and run around like maniacs. However, I've done crazy things. Dyed hair, lit my bedroom carpet on fire, you know, the usual.

  7. Dyed,'d themselves with permanent marker, lots of times. I don't refer to my youngest as Chaos for nothing. The kid is a walking disaster area...sometimes to himself.

    Very happy to hear it turned out ok. A little dye job isn't too bad for what could have been a disaster.

    I'm also happy to hear that poison control was actually helpful. I've, as well as friends, have had to call them a few times. Maybe it's just my area but it seems their advice is almost always along the lines of "If they're still alive, they'll probably be ok." Not the most reassuring of things to hear.

  8. Holy wow. That's scary! I'm glad that I now know the poison control number...just in case! Great job on getting the stuff out of her eyes! I'm glad she's okay!

    Also, that video is too cute!!!!

  9. I don't have kids, and I can't imagine the fear you feel when they get into things. But I do have cats, and the one thing I know about them is that you can give 10000000% of your best effort to protect them and keep them from harm, and they'll still find things to get into. I imagine it's exactly the same with kids. You're a wonderful mother; anyone who reads your book or this blog knows that. So try not to feel too bad about it; I'm glad you're laughing over it now.

  10. You will never forget the green Christmas!!

    My son never did anything like that when he was little, but I did practically beg him to let me spray paint his hair blue or yellow or orange when he was a fresh teen in the 80s. He wouldn't let me. Not even a streak. So conservative. ;)

  11. Poor little thing! I'm so glad she's going to be alright. I can just imagine how scared you were. But I think you're right - one day you will look back and laugh at time your daughter dyed herself green for Christmas.

    I once had to phone poison control after I gave my daughter a glass of bubble juice & a straw and she sucked it all up instead of blowing it out!

  12. Hahahaha! Poor Dr. Jones but I'm so glad she's alright! The video of her cracked me up! What a doll!
    I painted my hands blue while working on sets for a play. My character was blue so I thought it would be funny...until I discovered that it was oil based paint! To top it off, it was the Homecoming Dance that night and I actually had a date! With plenty of steel wool and turpentine, I got my hands free of the blue paint but it took hours and my skin was a bit red from scrubbing!

  13. Oh my gosh, she is so precious! No one ever died themselves at our house, but my oldest painted her whole body red. It was summer so she got her arms, legs, face, neck, feet. It took a few baths before she was no longer pink.

  14. Oh my goodness! I would be terrified! I'm so grateful she is going to be just fine!

    This is just one of the reasons I switched all my cleaners in my home to safe natural GREEN cleaners. if the baby happens to get into them (which I KNOW she will because all babies do) I don't have to worry so much, because these are safe around kids.

    The closest my kids have come to dying themselves is with permanent marker, or one time we were painting cookies and I had put too much food coloring in the frosting and it turned their little hands blue. haha.

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  15. Oh My Goodness - That is so scary - I am so sorry to hear of this. Moments like that are so hard for Moms - I hate feeling helpless. Glad you got good medical help and she will be ok. Thinking of ya

  16. I don't believe there's a child out there who hasn't done something to scare the living crap out of us! When my son was 6 months old he pulled himself up on an old carriage with fenders and his hand got stuck. He yanked it out and sliced his little pinkie almost all the way off. This was at the babysitters. She just called and said hurry! I think I had a minor heart attack that day. He's 30 now so there were plenty more!! Thank God you had the sense to put her in the tub like you did. Good Mom! Happy Endings are a great Christmas present aren't they?

  17. My kids never dyed themselves green, but we made more than one trip to the ER. I think the worst was when Favorite Young Man was roller blading in the high school parking lot after basketball practice (why he was doing this instead of coming home as he was supposed to do I have never known), and he ran into a low brick wall. The problem was that a piece of concrete was sticking out of the wall and it stabbed him in the leg. So at the ER the doctor was not content to merely take care of the wound. He wanted FYM to admit he had been stabbed. If he'd been stabbed, I woulda done it myself.


  18. hahaha the incredible hulk in her is just wanting to burst out or maybe she thought it was ooze and wanted to become a baby mutant ninja turtle..hahaha

    No matter how much you watch or prepare they always find a way to get into something at least once. Glad everything turned out alright.

  19. Yikes glad she's okay. Lucky it's a nice Christmas colour. Have a super Christmas!

  20. So glad she is ok. She is such a cutie Elisa!!

  21. Nope. No dye on the face. I've had funky hair colors emerge from bathrooms, scars from them pushing each other down the stairs in laundry baskets, Meg and her friend held Kyle down and put make up and girl stuff on him along with fixing his hair in pony tails but no dye. lol At least she isn't hurt and she IS beautiful no matter what color she is. Poor baby.

  22. Trying to keep the kids alive is the most time consuming part of parenting. My oldest has had her palms of her hands burned, TWICE! My 2nd child fell into a fire pit; luckily the last fire had been put out over 8 hours before but he still split his head open of the metal rim of the fire pit. He has also had so many minor head injuries. My Third child has Nursemaid's Elbow which causes his elbow to pop out of socket if it is pulled on at all. And countless other things. Nothing major with number 4 so far, but she is only 7 months, so it's only a matter of time!

  23. Ok, my kids haven't dyed themselves green...yet..but they've gotten into everything under the sun. They're not that much older than Dr. Jones, so I hear you on how fast they move. It almost boggles the mind! Seriously, I turn my back for a second, and both of them are on top of the console, trying to rip the TV out of the wall! You're one of the best moms out there, Veal, but those babies do their best to make sure we never rest...LOL *head desk*

  24. I don't have any children and I've never dyed myself green but I am personally responsible for every gray hair on mom's head. I can think of two doozies off the top of my head.

    I opened the back door into my face.


    I fell into my friend's front door and put my teeth through my lip.

  25. What a scary thing to go through. Thanks goodness it turned out so well.

    I loved the Baby Dance. Maybe Doctor Jones will be a drummer like her grandmother. :o)

  26. I'd like to share our phone conversation with your followers:

    First--& MOST importantly--I'm glad she will be okay!!

    With Dr. Jones' face being green, & her eyes probably being red, youi can just string some popcorn on her & save the money you would have spent on a tree. (A word of caution--I WOULDN'T use lights.)

    It absolutely amazes me that anyone's children grow up to be adults! I consider myself to be a good mother, but when my daughter was about 6 months old I ACCIDENTLY dropped her on her head. I was too embarassed & afraid to tell anyone--including my husband, so I kept checking her for signs of a concussion. There were none. Today she's 50 years old & has a genius IQ. I have no idea of what it would have been if I hadn't dropped her. Do you know, to this day, she's never thanked me!

  27. I'm So glad she's OK! That must have scared the crap outta you! I admit my mind immediately reached for The Grinch joke too. Good job at keeping your cool and taking the steps that saved her! Some of us would have joined in on the screaming and been completely helpless. You're a great Mom for taking control of the situation!

  28. I remember when Cooper got the bottle of Ibuprofen. It was horrible telling the poison control lady that I had no idea how much was in it before he got it. Mother of the year was not in my cards. I love that she is taking after her big bro, getting into trouble. lol. Glad she's ok.

  29. Oh no! I'm glad she's OK! Sounds like she was a good sport about it (which may or may not be a good thing). I definitely would have freaked out and not known what to do! Poison control probably wouldn't have crossed my mind - to me, they're who you call when someone INGESTS something!

    The video of her is hilarious! Half the time she looked like she was concentrating on getting the Baby Dance right. Go Doctor Jones!

  30. LOL on the 1-800 no.