Monday, December 26, 2011

The Tooth Fairy Didn't Show up!

    The Hippie lost one of her front teeth a few weeks ago.  She knew the other one would fall out soon and she'd be "toof-ess" as she said. But she refused to wiggle it until Christmas Eve.  That's when all hell broke loose!
    "I need the guide!" the Hippie told her sister, the Scribe. 
    That cracked me up because "the guide" is nothing more than a silly book.

    They sat and read it together.


    "The tooth fairy must be loaded," the Hippie said.  "Can you imagine how much change she has?  There are millions of kids in the world.  So, that's at least a million dollars!"
    I giggled--softly so they wouldn't stop talking.  
    "Can you imagine the gifts she'd leave on Christmas Eve!" the Hippie said.
    "You know what," the Scribe said, "you're totally right.  I'll get your tooth out, even if it kills me."
    Have you ever seen a kid tie string to their tooth and a doorknob?  Have you seen them tie it to a dog?  Have you seen them run around the yard screaming because the dog won't slow down AND the tooth won't come out?
    I have . . . it wasn't pretty.  But somehow, at the end of Christmas Eve, the Hippie's tooth was out and she looked stunning without her two front teeth.  "That was a crazy day," the Hippie said.
    "No kidding.  Sleep good darlings," I told them.
    "Daddy works construction," the Zombie Elf said as I prepared to walk from the room.
    "Yes, Honey."
    "This is Daddy's old pillow."
    "Yes, Honey," I said.
    "This is Daddy's old blanket."
    "YES, Honey."
    "Daddy helped the Hippie pull out her tooth today because Daddy's strong.  That's why Daddy works construction."
    "GO TO SLEEP!"
    So, I shut the door and my four babies fell asleep.
    "What should we give the Hippie?" I asked Cade.  "This is scary.  She's expecting something huge."
    "Didn't you know," Cade smiled, "the tooth fairy doesn't work during the holidays.  Don't you think it would be easier for Santa to sub since he's visiting everyone anyway?"
    "Oh, yeah!"  I nodded.

    The next day, it was no surprise when the Hippie found this under her pillow on Christmas morning. 


    What cracks me up about this, is that the Hippie seemed more excited about finding Rudolph's bell under her pillow, than getting a DSI!
    "What's in the package?" the Scribe asked her sister.
    "Three dollars," the Hippie said. "But I wonder how much dentists charge for fake teeth."
    "Why?" the Scribe asked.
    "I've only been toof-ess for a day, but I want my two front teeth back."
     "People always talk about the real meaning of Christmas, and now you know what it's all about," the Scribe said.  "All you want for Christmas are your two front teeth, your two front teeth.  All you lost for Christmas were your two front teeth . . . And now that really sucks."  
    "Don't make me punch YOUR teeth out," the Hippie said, and I laughed so hard it was hard to breathe.

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!


  1. hahaha I guess that truly does validate the song

  2. If that isn't precious, I don't know what is! It sounds like you and Cade make a pretty good team!! ;)

  3. Three dollars! Wow! When I was a kid we got a quarter. Inflation. ;)
    Your kids are so funny! I love to hear what they think. :)

  4. Kids just make the holiday so fun don't they? And you can't make this stuff up when it comes to kids either. Great post.

  5. If the Tooth Fairy and Santa are out working on Christmas Eve it's going to be busy.

  6. Youngest lost his first tooth on vacation in NYC. He got $5, because you know, everything costs more in NYC.

    He attempted to save all future teeth for vacations, but no go. Then he lost one on Valentines Day.

    The tooth fairy didn't show up because she doesn't work when cupid's out. Also, too many creatures flying around, wouldn't want an arrow mishap.

  7. My thinthere congratulationth & good witheth to
    The Hippie on the loth of her two inthithorth!

    I hope the new oneth come in thoon!

  8. Such cute kids. I may be sick.


  9. That was so cute what a story and it really made me smile loved that the toothfairy doesn't work on holidays.........

  10. A great story as usual. I really enjoy your writing style.

    The whole tooth fairy business is starting to get a little long in the tooth (pun intended) in my house. My kids have this nasty tendency to sleep with the lost tooth as far under the pillow as they can get it...usually necessitating a ton of rooting around to find it.

    A few months back I even got caught. My oldest woke up with my arm elbow deep under his pillow. He immediately asked what I was doing. Thinking quick I told him that I was broke and needed to borrow a few bucks and I was checking to see if the tooth fairy had been there yet. So basically to keep the whole tooth fairy thing alive I had to make it seem like I was some sort of freaking pick pocket. Fortunately, I was able to palm the tooth and leave the cash. Still, the look on his face... :)

  11. $3? Inflation has hit everywhere it seems.

  12. Boomer's got a point: all I remember getting was a quarter for each tooth.

    At least the Hippie actually WANTED her teeth out. My youngest brother unexpectedly lost his two front teeth one December when he was 5 1/2. Basically, we were on a train for my mom's birthday and my brothers and I were in a back cabin, where there are seats. My brother was running up and down the aisle and tripped over my other brother. He was headed for the cushiony seat when the train lurched and he hit the metal arm rest instead. Or rather, his mouth. At first we thought that his teeth fell out but instead, hitting the metal arm rest pushed his teeth into his gums. Had to have surgery to remove them. Like this year with The Hippie, my brother's song that Christmas was "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" :)

  13. Talk about a traffic jam! Good thing Santa pinch hit on that one huh? lol They are so cute. First thing she showed me on Christmas was her DS then her missing teeth! Cracked me up!

  14. what is the going rate for teeth these days? my niece gets $5 and that just seems like a lot when i remember getting a quarter. :)

  15. *LOL* Great post! Your kids are awesome. Thank you for sharing them with us. You are so gifted in capturing their spirit and individuality. They are blessed to have you...we all are.

  16. We have a tooth box that we keep next to the bed that I have a feeling will come in pretty hand in the next few weeks...

    I'll bet she looks darling with her gap tooth smile. Good thinking on the Santa thing, we wouldn't want them to crash into each other or have Santa mistake the fairy for a toy to bring to someone else's house!

  17. Thank you for reminding me! Peanut is about to lose a tooth...gotta find some cool coins for her. Or maybe a $2 bill...hmmm...I know I have one of those floating around somewhere.

  18. I used to put my under my pillow. I got $5 every time! Unfortunately, one year I was being a slave for my parents, and I went to put clothes in my moms dresser. I found and envelope, so I opened it. It was a handful of teeth. MY teeth! I cried. Seriously. I couldn't believe my parents lied to me. I also couldn't believe why the hell they kept my teeth for so many years!

  19. When I was seven, my sister dropped me on the metal bedpost.
    I lost 4 teeth.
    And we didn't have a tooth fairy :(

  20. Another great story, but I am still stuck on the "guide" book. You are such a fantastic mom. :)

  21. So they've realized that the tooth fairy carries a million change because there are millions of children all over the world? This is funny! That's a funny twist in the end to, it being Christmas too and all. :-)