Monday, November 28, 2011

What Kind of Man is Right for You?

    Having one daughter is a bit scary; having three . . . well, that's terrifying.  I hope they'll each marry a good man who's hardworking and kind.  But it's hard to know what will happen.  The Scribe has a knack for liking "winners."
    I'm sure she'll pick wisely when the time comes.  As for now though, the boys she likes might be trouble.
    Do you remember this story?

The Scribe's Blog Backfired

    Seriously, that kid was determined to have a boyfriend.  Things turned sour, and apparently she dated a boy, then broke up with him.  Now I'm paying the price because I'm getting pranked by a boy in a band.
    A mere blog wouldn't do this justice.  I wanted you to hear the messages for yourself.  Keep in mind, this kid is in fourth grade.  I'm shocked that he would call someone and talk about these things.  Call me a prude--a surprised prude--some nine-year-olds must know more than I'd suspected.    

   The dialogue is below the video in case it's hard to hear.

My notes are in white.

Me: We're here today to tell you about some very funny phone calls the Scribe has been getting.  They are crazy.  
   Well, here's the first one so you can hear how silly it is.

Voice mail: Saved message.

Boy from the Scribe's school (plugging his nose): I need to give the Scribe a message.  You know how you came into Build a Bra?  Build a Bra--that was witty (like Build a Bear), but why is he talking about bras?  Maybe I'll understand when the Zombie Elf is older.  Umm . . . you bought like ten bras.  K.  They're in, so you have to pay us thirty-five dollars.  Are you aware of that, 'cause I thought you were.
    So, yeah, pay us thirty-five dollars.  Call me back when you have the chance.  (This is my FAVORITE part of the phone call; listen to him backpedal.)  Umm . . . Actually, don't call me back.  
    'Cause . . . 
    'Cause we can't reach your call or messages.  K.  
    'Cause you . . . 
    just . . . got . . . pranked.  Thank you very much.  Bye bye.

Me: So that was the first of the phone calls.  Do you have anyting to say about that Scribe?

The Scribe: That was my ex-boyfriend.

Me: And why do you have an ex-boyfriend?

The Scribe:  I don't know.  I guess I was just young and stupid.

Me:  How young were you?

The Scribe: Second grade.

Me:  And what are you drawing here?

The Scribe:  I have no idea.  I'm trying to draw this little guy.

Me:  That's awesome.  Are you excited for Fishducky to see this?

The Scribe:  Yes, because I like this guy.  Isn't he cute?!

Me:  All right, we're going to listen to this other call.

Voice mail: Saved message.

The Second Grade Ex:  I just want to apologize for prank calling.  I know this is just a message, and I hope you're the kind of people who actually listen to their messages.  I'm not trying to make fun of you or anything, but some people don't even listen to their messages.
    One second . . . Cody!  Cody, stop talking to me.  Look in the mirror you tard!  
    Sorry about that, I don't think you even know Cody.  
    Shut up!
    Sorry about that.  Anyway, you know who this is.  If you get this message, please call me back.  I'm sorry for prank calling.

Me:  So this guy, I'm thinking, is not the kind of guy that the Scribe wants to marry.  But he is in a band.  Is that right?

Scribe:  Yep.  He plays the electric guitar.

Me:  Boy, and how old is he?  Ten?

Scribe:  Nine.  His birthday's in December like mine.

Me:  Wow.  Well, thanks for letting us share this part of your life Scribe.  And thanks for joining me on . . . EC Writes.

Scribe:  I am?

Me:  Yep.  Say "goodbye."

Scribe:  Goodbye.  See ya later!

    So, in closing, what types of people do you think your children will marry?  If you don't have kids yet, are you nervous about the people your siblings will marry?


  1. I don't even want to think about the poor guy who dates The Peanut. He better be on his toes b/c she is not going to put up with anything and tells it like it is.
    This was such a funny story.
    On to catch up with the rest of your posts from this past week.

  2. So, yep, that seals it. I'm home-schooling The Girl once she starts kindergarten next year. No boyfriends. Ever.

  3. hahaha oh those second grades ex's can be quite the pain..haha

    As far as siblings go, my brother will marry a barbie blonde and lose don a skirt the rest of his life. My sister is stuck with the one she got and they both deserve one another. And me, well with my luck I'll be the scary old single guy on the street corner, all the kids make up stories about..haha

    Look same time again.

  4. A boyfriend in the second grade?! We all had those :P I remember my mom helping me write a poem for my 2nd grade boyfriend. Build a bra??? How clever!!

  5. Hahaha! Kids are crazy aren't they. Hopefully they grow out of this type of silliness by the time they marry, but even though getting older is mandatory, growing up is optional.

    Me and my husband talk about what kind of people our kids will find and date. The only thing we know is that if our kids are anything like us we need to be on a heavy watch! But on the other hand, if they are anything like us, they will find the perfect match regardless of what we think. :D

  6. Hah! Sometimes it's good to have all boys. That being said if I ever catch one of them doing something stupid like this I might have to make an example out of them for the others. :)

  7. all i know is i made a lot of dating mistakes and i'm sure i drove my parents crazy. i only hope my kids, when i have them, make much better choices than i did.

  8. This is probably why I'm still single.

  9. My daughter had her first date when she was 14 or 15. When she was growing up, I had visualized the sweet boys she would date. Imagine my surprise when the boy (yes, boy!) showed up with a mustache & beard--& he was very close to her age!

  10. Oh, I can't wait until this stuff starts happening to us... Little kids are so funny. I loved, "Umm . . . Actually, don't call me back." Unfortunately, you get told that when boys get older too... or was that just me?

  11. I hope Favorite Young Man marries Little Chick because she is the adorable, funny, well-organized type -- kind of like moi. I don't know about Someone I Love. She might be married to math.


  12. I'm not nervous about the girl my middle brother will marry. He's had some good girlfriends so far. My youngest brother, like me, has never really dated, but he has been like a boyfriend to a couple girls. I'm a little nervous about who marries him, but mostly I'll be worried for her as my brother has an old-fashioned mentality when it comes to women, mainly that the woman should cook everything for the man. Not sure how he got that way.

    And, I was right - The Scribe is a creative one! She's a much better artist than I am. Great job on the bear and butterfly, kiddo! :)

  13. LMAO! I don't have children yet, but the hubster has sworn that if we ever have a girl, that he'll be super-intimidating towards any potential boyfriends!

  14. Oh, my ...
    My daughter had pretty 'serious' boyfriend in fourth grade. She said she was joking when she said 'I wanna break up,' but he took it seriously and now years later she doesn't miss him at all. Never got pranked by the kid, though.... that's pretty wild!
    Really, I just want my girls to be happy and healthy and with whomever helps them to be happy and healthy. :)

  15. Dear Elisa,
    Having never married and having always enjoyed being single, I seldom think about who my great-nieces might marry. I've always thought there were four levels of relationship: 1) being married or in a committed relationship AND being happy; 2) being single AND being happy. 3) Being single and unhappy. And 4) being married or in a relationship and being unhappy. #1 it seems to me leads to real wholeness of personality since humans are social creatures. But #2 is surely better than either #3 or 4. Or so I think! Truly #4 seems so hard to me. And as we all know, it does happen.

  16. That girl is growing up before your eyes :) Too funny - boys prank calling already - who'd have thought

  17. I'm sorry this is funny, but as a single mom, I don't think boys like this ever change. It must be the same at 9 as it is at 40. Just saying! ;)