Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday eBook Extravaganza and How to Write Dialogue

Check my tabs for the iPad2 Giveaway and Blogfest. 
    I want to write about dialogue and how it's turned hilarious for me and my husband, but first, I need to tell you three things . . .

It's Black Friday, and
"The Golden Sky" is now an eBook!
Click HERE to include on your to-read list. 


    Its normal eBook price is 10.99, but for today (Black Friday) only, it will be $4.99 and 20% of the proceeds will go to help families who are suffering with infant loss.
To purchase it as an eBook or download a free sample, please go here:
    To purchase a physical copy of the book, please click this button:


     For a review about "The Golden Sky," a very helpful one was posted yesterday.

    Also, like I wrote in my previous post, two of my short stories were published in a Christmas anthology called "Christmas Lites."
    I hope you'll enjoy this sneak peek of the first story I wrote.
    The mint air swirled around me. I hate the stupid waiting room. I never know what The Receptionist will say. She has mile-high blonde hair, blue eyeshadow, bubblegum, and fake nails. The aquarium in the middle of the room is filled with miniature sea monsters from the cretaceous period. It’s not what it seems, though.
    I stared at everyone in the cluttered room and noticed the men next to me--they reeked of death.
    Wasn't it enough that I, Grace E. Garner, had died, perishing on Christmas day at the age of twenty-six? Now I was stuck in the same room with a bunch of physcos, a dead female televangelist (the Receptionist), and some monstrous fish. I wondered why the Receptionist worked there and not for Lucifer on the first floor.


    Dive into a world of variety—a world of spirit with this Creative Reviews anthology. What better way to celebrate the holiday season than with some short stories that entertain and encompass the true meaning of Christmas? All proceeds of this book will be donated to the NCADV. Debut authors and published authors have come together in this one-of-a-kind compilation—please help support a great cause and plunge deep into our imaginations.

"Christmas Lites" can be purchased through
    The last order of business, before I begin this post about dialogue, is that "The Golden Sky" blogfest has been going on for one week.  I've still been reading a few posts each day, and they are life changing!  Although, the Ipad2 Giveaway is still continuing, and the winner won't be announced until December 17th, I wanted to award the smaller prizes today.
A Mourning Mom
Have each won a physical copy of my book.

A Year On... Our New Beginning {hopefully}
Have each won an eBook version of my book.

Have each one a copy of my music CD.

In addition to those prizes, Tarah Scott has been generous
and contributed two of her books as prizes!
Have won those books.

    Thank you, everyone, for participating in the blogfest.  I'm still going to continue reading your posts.  They have brightened my holidays with hope.  Although life can be hard, your strength and perseverance are inspiring.

    And now, onto the post of the day.
    I've been polishing the prequel to "The Golden Sky," and I let Cade read it.
    Apparently, I have a hard time writing male dialogue.  Cade says that in one section his dialogue is all wrong because he sounds like a woman!  There's nothing quite like having a real live character complaining about how they talk in a book.  Note to self--ditch non-fiction. 
    Half of me is tempted to make it even worse, though.  I could have Cade talking about how much he loves romantic movies (since there is one he loved).  I'd like to see his reaction then--ha ha. 

    Welcome to . . . Male Dialogue.

    The other day Cade talked to me on the phone.  
    "I finished 'Bible Girl,' but you have my dialogue all wrong in one chapter.  I didn't say the word lovely.  I'm sure I said the mountains were nice.  I didn't say they were lovely."
    "I swear you'd say something like that."  I stifled a giggle.
    "I've never used the word lovely.  "
    "But you just said it, right now."  
    "I bet I said the mountains were nice."
    "Even though they were breathtaking . . . gorgeous?"
    He stayed quiet, a man of few words.
    "Seriously, would you ever use the word 'lovely' in a sentence?" I asked.
    "Well, what if you thought something was lovely, what would you say then?"
    "Like a lovely wedding dress, flower or something."
    He paused.  "I'd say it was nice . . . not lovely."
    "So that's your only beef with the male dialogue in that chapter?"
    "Yeah, I guess . . . Just don't use the word lovely when I'm talking."
    "'Cause tough guys don't use the word lovely?"
    "Exactly.  Tough guys use the word nice.  If it'll help, I can go through my dialogue and rephrase things to how I'd really say them."
    "Ummm . . . sure.  Thanks for your help."
    I'd had him go through the book to see if he could remember any more details from the past, I didn't think he'd notice something like that.  It's a good thing he did though.
    It suddenly felt strange.  Fiction writers never deal with this.  Yet I talked with a real life character from my books, and he was upset about misrepresentation!  
   How would you deal with this?  Of course I'll fix it and welcome any help I can get, but what would you do if one of your characters came up to you and complained about their dialogue?
    I guess writing non-fiction can be a good thing.  I learn more about my characters a.k.a. family and friends everyday. 
    As we ate Thanksgiving dinner, I hung onto every word Cade said.
    "What are you doing?" he asked.
    "Just listening to the way you talk . . . but my, it is lovely."
    "Right."  He laughed and took another bite of his mashed potatoes and gravy.  "So, lovely."
    I knew he'd use the word someday--I just knew it!


  1. hahaha I'll stick to fiction. I can make them say whatever and don't get any back talk. Unless you start talking to yourself, then that could be trouble. Although yeah I'd change it, want it to be as real as possible. Besides using "nice" and making it all that more real, makes the overall book even more "lovely," hence the male characters are lovely anyway..haha

  2. Now I'm definitely changing it. As long as it's "lovely" somehow LOL!

  3. Hubby agrees...he never uses the word 'lovely' - Thank goodness I'm not macho. It wouldn't be very lovely at all!
    Congratulations to the winners and huge congrats to you for such a fabulous and meaningful event. I wish you every success with your book.

  4. So much awesome in one post, my head is about to explode!
    Congrats on all your amazing publications!
    You are a fantacular author and I LOVE your work!
    And yay to me I won sOmething!!!!
    Oh and I know some guys say lovely!
    They may not be manly men but it does happen!
    Hope you had an awesome thanksgiving!!!!

  5. So funny! I use lovely all the time, but you're right hubbies never do. Probably for the best lol. I'm so buying both your books today, you ahve such a great way with words :)

  6. I will say "lovely" sarcastically. "My tire exploded. Lovely..." But, I will probably NOT use the word to describe a dress or a bruising run by a halfback.

    I will promise you that it does not get any easier with fiction. You CAN make the characters say whatever you like, but if readers think a character would not have said something, it jars them.

    One time, I wrote a scene where a male character noticed something about a woman at a stressful time. Women WROTE to me to say, "No way, he would not have noticed." When I asked the few men who had read the story about the incident, they said, "Oh, yeah. Of course he would."

    We just sometimes see the world differently. THAT is why women can put up with us. You all give us MUCH more credit than we deserve, especially when you love us. Like when you tell your friends that your husband always listens to, we don't. We nod a lot, grunt a little, and have the innate ability to recall the last thirty seconds of what you said verbatim even when we are watching football. It's like buffer memory in computers, we just have it.

    We still have to write ourselves a dozen notes and leave them in strange places to make sure we remember our anniversary, however.

    Let's face it, we're pretty basic.

    On the other hand, we will never ask you if a pair of jeans makes our butt look good. So we have that going for us.


  7. hahahaha I could see that being a problem. I'm trying to picture my very manly brother standing there saying something is lovely...Yup, can't see it. :) You guys are too cute. Hope you had a great holiday!

  8. WOW!! I am so excited. I never, ever win anything. Thanks so much kiddo. You made my day.:)

  9. I must be tired because it took me a few reads to realize you said I won something. And books! Score!!

    Dialogue...hmm...this is why I don't base characters in my writing on actual people I know. That's not to say I don't overhear someone say something stupid or funny or what have you, and then figure out how to work it into a piece.

    But...I say "lovely" all the time. Now I'm second-guessing myself.

  10. A great--& well deserved review!

    I asked my lovely husband if he uses the word "lovely" & he told me that he has used it from time to time. (Unfortunately those uses were not to describe me.)

  11. Thank you so much... you're very sweet :) I'm honoured xoxo

  12. Dear Elisa,
    As a writer, you search for the "telling" word--the word that tells what's happening as well as shows it. But most of us when we talk use the easiest word we come by. We use "nice" a lot. And "pretty." And "great." And for some people, it's a four-letter word--maybe frowned upon in "nice" society--that is the easiest. So I suspect that Cade is truly being honest with you. He's "nice" that way!


  13. I do use lovely, but I've been told it is a place holder word(I was told this by my writer friend, David). But, some things, are, well...Lovely.

  14. HAH Cade was caught red-mouthed! WHAT UP!

    Playwrights have a similar problem, though not as strange...actors enjoy coming up to us saying "Umm I don't think my character would dare say a word like okay. They would say all right" and then there goes a half an hour of rehearsal, discussing what the character would say (I say that as a playwright and a director...though as a director, I have a way easier time shutting the conversation down).

    BUT at least it's not Abraham Lincoln coming up to me being like Buddy, what do you think you're doing? That would be...that would be weird.

  15. Hah-this post made me laugh! Who knew that manly men didn't say "lovely?"

  16. I wonder what other words manly men avoid?

  17. Ahahahahhaha! He used it!!! xD
    Cade sounds...(refrain yourself, refrain yourself) lovely.
    Wow! I never realized how good an author you were until I read the excerpt.
    Oh and by the way, it may have been a typo but did you mean Psychos instead of 'physcos' ? Just asking x)

  18. I'm sure I have heard my husband call something "lovely." But now that you mention it, maybe it's what I HEARD, but not what he said. Very thought provoking... now I'm not sure. Well said, Elisa. I really enjoyed your dialog.

  19. Congratulations on the great writing news. I wish you well with it.
    The dialog snippet rang true for the writer in me. I've had similar situations.

    Enjoy my delightful interview with Susan Kane on
    Wrote By Rote Saturday 11/26

  20. I was laughing about the "lovely" dialogue. Men sure are picky! :)

  21. Best wishes to you and your family and Happy Holidays!

  22. Awesome.... I'm pretty sure my husband would call me on this right away, too!

  23. Oh, there are tears in my eyes from reading this. I have had these very same conversations with my husband as well. Somehow, what he says must get twisted by the estrogen as it enters my ears. Thanks for the best laugh of the day.

  24. LOL This post made me giggle out loud! I can totally see my husband complaining about the same kind of thing.

    Lovely post, by the way ;)

    (visiting from voiceBoks!)

  25. Nice. I have been known to misquote my other half. Non-guy words...dreamy, lovely, Black Friday Sale. ;) VB drop in. I love your header!! Gorgeous.

  26. Heheheeeee, that is funny! Loved the line after you were hanging on his every word at Thanksgiving: "Just listening to the way you talk . . . but my, it is lovely."