Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dog Lady Returns

    Check my tabs for the iPad2 Giveaway and information about my book "The Golden Sky."

    Happy Birthday to Stephanie from, The Stephanie Connection.  You've been such a strength and blessing to my life.  Your encouragement and kind words have meant the world to me.  I don't know if I would have been able to finish writing "Bible Girl" without you.  I always look forward to reading your blog and your comments.
   Thanks for your friendship, and may you have an amazing day!
    Please go visit her here: The Stephanie Connection

    For the post of the day . . .
    Do you remember the Dog Lady?
    I've written posts about her before:

  1. Showdown with the Gunslinging Dog Lady

    To make a long story short,

    She brought a dog (that she thought was mine) to my house IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!  Turns out the dog was a boy--too bad mine was a girl.  Then, weeks later, although we didn't know each other well, the woman said I had beautiful children and asked if I wanted to be a surrogate mother--weird I know!  Then, she told me she had no eggs--and no nursing license (since the latter got taken away).  

     Now that you have some history, let me continue on with the story . . .
        I took Doctor Jones back to the pediatrician.  "She is getting better," he said.  "But just to be sure, we'll give her a steroid shot.  The croup is lingering more than it should."
         My other children cringed, because when you're a kid NOTHING is worse than getting a shot.  You could get held back in Kindergarten, forced to vacuum the whole house; you could miss seeing Santa at the mall

    . . . and still it wouldn't compare to getting a S-H-O-T. 
        "Why?" you ask.
        Because (as a kid once told me), "When you're little, shots are of the devil."
        But, back to the point.  Doctor Jones got a shot.  She acted brave and tough, then she curled into my brand new wool sweater and rubbed her snotty tear-streaked face across my collar. 
        We left after that, and I must admit that my older girls and boy cried harder than Doctor Jones did.  I tugged the Zombie Elf by his sleeve, then told my girls to stop crying and watch where they were walking.  My legs nearly gave out from exhaustion.  I thought my life might end because I was surrounded by four CRYING children.
        Then it happened, I saw an angel baby at two o'clock.  His mother pushed him in a stroller and I couldn't get over those baby cheeks.  "You have such a gorgeous baby!" I yelled, through my cyclone of children. 
        The woman didn't hear me.  I'd practically given what was left of my beating heart, JUST to tell her how gorgeous her baby was, and she couldn't even acknowledge my presence?
        "I said," a deep breath filled my lungs and my nostrils flared, "you have a GORGEOUS BABY!"
        So, I know it started off as a compliment and I was being nice, but didn't she understand, the Zombie was running in place (since I held his armless sleeve), Doctor Jones was wailing and my older girls weren't helping me at all. 
        I wanted to give the stranger a compliment.  Would it kill her to say "thank you?!"
        The woman turned then, you know the one who had a baby cuter than Zeus.  I'd kept looking at the baby, but as the woman turned, I swallowed my gum.
        I knew that woman!  Why hadn't I kept my stupid mouth shut.
        "Oh how nice to see you!" she gushed.  "This is my little boy."   
        "He's darling."  It was the truth. And now that she'd turned, I wanted to run.
        Had she found a surrogate mother?  Had she conceived?  I never found out because the Zombie Elf--who suddenly turned into Samson--pulled me away like a reckless train.
       "I'm so happy for you."  I waved goodbye, thankful for inhumane strength.
       "It was nice bumping into you," she said.  "Seeing all of those kids, though . . . wow, it's good birth control for me.  I only wanted one.  What were you thinking?"  She laughed, this insane talk-show host laugh.
        I should have screamed back, told her how there may be four of them, and they may be wild, but they're my zoo of crazies!  And even if they cover me in snot and pull me in different directions, I wouldn't trade them for anything!
       As we drove home, I couldn't quit wondering, had she found another woman who would give her their eggs?  If she had, the surrogate must have been beautiful! 
        I may always wonder, but at least I learned one thing . . . I should never compliment people unless I know who they are first.  Yeah . . . that's a good plan.   


  1. Thank you for the birthday wishes and your kind words. What a wonderful day so far thanks to friends like you.

  2. At least her grandchildren won't look anything like her!

  3. Dear Elisa,
    I'm sorry to hear that Doctor Jones is still ailing. I hope the shot does the trick. Overcast day here so I was glad to learn about Stephanie's birthday. That brightened the day. Thanks for telling us.


  4. Omg!!!! How do these people find us?? hahaha How do you come in contact with someone that shows up at your door with the wrong dog not ONCE but TWICE?! Sigh.. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

  5. Your story made me laugh!
    Thank You for sharing it.

  6. VERY good lesson learned - and your zoo of crazies sounds awesome. I bet she was jealous of how awesome your family is.

  7. Isn't it strange how some people seem to float in and out of our lives! I always like to read your stories, thanks!!

  8. Well sounds like she had a thing for dogs, as far as I'll take that..haha

    Yes that would be a good plan. After all it could be a fan. That accidental prank call person, that waiter guy or the nut at the bus stop, to name a few..hahaha...make sure you know first.

  9. "What were you thinking?" What the hell kind of question is that for a mother? Granted, I'm not a mom myself, but I wouldn't ask that were I to run into someone I know who has any number of kids! Maybe if it were a "4 in 4" type of situation but I would ask because I didn't understand why that person would want several kids that close in age. Besides, your zoo of crazies is awesome and you seem like the best kind of mom there is: loving and caring and fun but knows when to discipline :)

    I hope the shot works on Doctor Jones!

  10. How did I not know it was Stephanie's Brthday?

    I am now the shame of the blogging community, I know.

    Why do people say that? I mean, I know I think it of anyone who has more than one kid, but I'd never say it out loud! Besides, the craziness makes for more fun and really, life with one would be just boring. :)

  11. Oh dear. I hope she doesn't show up at your house in the middle of the night the next time the baby is ailing or wailing and accuse you of being the surrogate mom.


  12. I love when people say that to me cause it comes out sounding like, "Those kids of yours are so awful, it reminds me why I didn't have anymore." Gee, thanks for the compliment? Oh Everyone loves your pack of crazies and all the wonderful stories that go with them!

  13. Weir-do. What were you thinking? Really? This woman has social ineptitude. But you already knew that. You wrote about her. The surrogacy thing was even weirder, though.

  14. What a great lesson for all of us! There are some odd people I have encountered and the last thing I would want to do is to get into a conversation with them by accident! I will have to double check before I throw out a compliment. :) I guess your odd person got their baby- hopefully they don't show up at your door in the middle of the night again! Yikes!


  15. Thank you for the ipad 2 giveaway, your book looks like it would be very good. Good luck to you and best wishes.
    Nicole Carter

  16. This was a fantastic post. I'm still laughing at "my zoo of crazies".

  17. I think the fact that she lost her nursing license told me right there that she was a bit nutso. Hee hee...You have a beautiful family, snot and all...and I hope Dr. Jones is feeling better.