Thursday, February 28, 2013

3 Pick-up Lines that DO NOT Work

Facebook can be a real dream.  But, it can also become a nightmare. Strange foreign men see any friendly profile pic and are compelled to hit on it.
    I've been married for a long time, been with Cade since I was 17. Some of these pick-up lines have shocked me.  Is this what the online dating scene is like?  God forbid.
    
    Let me tell you about three especially bad ones . . .

#1
I've always had a special feeling for my mother. 

STOP . . . 
Is this a pick-up--or an attempt to say they're STILL a mama's boy?
Resume . . . 

You remind me of her in face and heart. I'd like to meet and see if we have a bond. You smile tells me we do. Let's message each other.

Hmmm . . .  YOU smile tells me we do.  Well, my smile says that I'm married--his wording tells me he doesn't speakie English very well. AND in the picture he attached of  his mother . . . Well, I'm surprised he said our faces match.

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#2
My wife died. You remind me of her.

This emailed called to me--the poor man!  But honestly, do I just have a familiar face, or what?  I continued reading, thinking this was just a kind email, not a pick-up.  Boy was I wrong. 

I think her spirit dwells in you. We lived a long life together.  I can see her joy in your eyes.
I would like to date online and know you more.

If a message like that won't creep someone out--I don't know what willMy shaky hand clicked on his profile picture.  The guy was a highly decorated military man who was about 9,000 years old! 
 
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#3
I like you. I think your a virgin.

I'm a writer, don't send a writer something with an obvious error like "your" vs. "you're"--unless you're approaching them for grammar lessons.   
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    Now onto the obvious offense behind this facebook message.  WHAT THE HELL?  A virgin?  And to think, I thought my army of children clued people in.  Having a baby is like shouting from the rooftops--I've had sex--I lost my cheery, people!  It's actually a bit embarrassing at first--if you want to know the truth.
    But making a strange claim like this, made me feel as if he'd take me--a thirty-year-old--to the slave sex exchange!  Are they taking thirty-year-olds with no boobs, and lots of character?  If so, I'm terrified.


 Is this really what the dating game is like these days?