Friday, March 30, 2012

WHAT’S IN A NAME? (AND SOME OTHER STUFF) Fishducky Friday

    Far be it from me to make fun of anyone’s name—I was born with the lovely, lilting surname of Kiewitsky—but I was watching a golf tournament on TV & saw a young golfer by the name of John Huh.  He is Asian, I believe of Korean descent.  I thought of how his life must be frighteningly like the Abbott & Costello routine, “Who’s On First?”.  How many times could someone go through this without exploding?  “What’s your name?”  “Huh.”  “I said, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” “Huh.”  “I SAID, WHAT’S--YOUR--NAME???????????”   Maybe Kiewitsky wasn’t so bad.


    Well before the age of computers, I used to write a monthly newsletter that went to a dozen or so members of our family.  It was Xeroxed (remember that?) & sent by snail mail.  I tried to keep the family up to date on each other & also included jokes, cartoons & weird articles from the National Enquirer such as, “Male 4 legged space alien mates with human female.  She gives birth to brilliant talking dog!”  Someone had given us a little (8”) teddy bear, made of mink.  We (Bud & I) ran a contest in my letters to name her.  I said the prize would be $100,000.00 or a cookie, depending on the discretion of the judges.  Our daughter & her cousin, who were roommates in Italy, won with the name, THEDA BEARA.  (Theda Bara was a sexy silent movie star—before even MY time.)  I don’t know if there are any still around, but some bakeries used to make cookies that were the size of a pizza (10”?) & decorated them like cakes.  We were going to visit the girls & bring them their prize—which certainly WASN’T the $100,000.00!  The cookie went into a pizza type box & we brought it to Italy.  Customs officials & everyone else who saw the box wanted to know why we were bringing pizza INTO Italy!
    At another time, our “prizewinning” niece was living in Bordeaux, France.  She asked us to visit her, which we did, on our way back to the US.  She booked us into some Godforsaken rattrap a very nice hotel.  The room clerk spoke English & was quite pleasant.  I took a bath in preparation to meeting our niece for dinner.  I tried to drain the tub when I was through, but it wouldn’t drain.  I pushed—or pulled—something & created our own private Vesuvius.  Water was everywhere & we couldn’t stop it.  I called the desk downstairs for help.  Mr. English Speaker had left & no one else there spoke English.  My French is passable under quiet, normal, non-emergency conditions--which these were NOT!  I identified myself & gave him our room number, we were talking—that is to say he was talking, I was panicking--& he asked me to hold for a moment.  He came back on & informed me that he was sorry, but WE WERE NOT THERE!  I finally managed to get him to come to our room, where he saw the bathroom floor covered by an inch of water.  I had built a dam out of towels & managed to keep the lake in the bathroom.  He turned off the water, brought in more towels & blotted it up as best he could.  He informed us that since it was Sunday he wouldn’t be able to get a plumber until the next day, so would we be so kind as to not bathe again that evening?  Because of the inconvenience he kindly offered to take $10.00 off the cost of our room.  But the story doesn’t end there—oh, no!  After we got back from dinner I was exhausted.  We had flown from Italy to France, gone through all this at the hotel, then got cleaned up (or at least tried to), dressed & went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner!  It was very hot & humid (Bordeaux is on the coast) & I felt sticky, but obviously I couldn’t bathe.  I climbed into bed & immediately rolled into the middle, where I felt velcroed to my equally sticky husband.  The thin-to-start-with mattress had, over the years, morphed into the shape of a “V”.  We could not stay separated.  I ended up taking the bedspread, putting it on the floor & sleeping on it.  I guess it wasn’t too bad of a deal—we DID get $10.00 off!
   
Good thing fishducky’s can swim!        

20 comments:

  1. What a neat idea about the newsletter AND the giant cookie LOL! I love that :)

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    1. To paraphrase the old song--fishduckies just like to have fun!

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  2. I did like the newsletter idea. Whenever something happens in our family I send out an email to keep all my relatives up to date. Guess I am too impatient to use snail mail wanting everyone to know what's going on immediately. Great post.

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    1. This was 30+ years ago. We didn't have the option of using a computer. I would have if I could have!

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  3. LOL at least the weren't stingy, I mean $10 whole dollars makes such an inconvience worth while right?..hahaha....having the last name huh would be painful. I know a few with the last name Hornie, that be pretty bad too.

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    1. Ten bucks is ten bucks--don't knock it! We changed our name when I was 17. If it had been Hornie, it probably wouldn't have taken that long.

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  4. Hah! I'm surprised they didn't charge you $10 more for the privilege of your own in-room fountain. How romantic. :)

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  5. I remember those cookies. I haven't seen one in a long time, but I also haven't been in a mall in a long time. Ah, that must have been a forced romance mattress. You couldn't keep away from your true love if you tried.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. It was SO hot & humid, the floor still would have been the better choice!

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  6. French hotels are definitely not as plush as American ones but Bordeaux is a beautiful place to be.

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    1. I can only hope they've improved in the last 30 years.

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  7. I'm half Italian on my dad's side so I know EXACTLY what you mean about the last name! All my life it's been pronounced wrong. On the first day of school, semester, or quarter, my name was always one of the ones the teacher was talking about when s/he preceded roll call with "I'm sorry if I mess up anyone's names. Please feel free to correct me." I'm just glad my parents gave me a first name that's easy to pronounce :)

    I've seen those cookies from time to time. Never had one, though. They sound delicious.

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    1. We just got tired of spelling it for everybody.

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  8. I remember sleeping in a bed like that for years because I couldn't afford to buy a new mattress.
    I do remember those pizza cookies. These days that cookie probably wouldn't make it past homeland security--LOL! It had to be so frustrating to not be able to communicate in a crisis!! Wild memories. :)

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    1. I really think Homeland Security eats & drinks all the good stuff they make you leave behind!

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  9. Dear Fran, . . . as Rita says, wild memories! I've never seen a cookie as big as a pizza, must have been during my convent years! Peace.

    PS: I’ll be absent from the blogging world during the month of April. However, I’m going to schedule reposts of stories I posted last May and June when I had only a few readers. If you have time, please stop by my blog every Tuesday and Saturday in April. I’d appreciate comments because they will help me decide just what topics to cover in the memoir on which I’m working.

    I regret already that I’ll be missing all April postings each Friday. If you have one or more you’d like me to read when I begin again in May, please go to my blog and mention it.

    I’ll start reading again on Tuesday, May 1. See you then!

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  10. YUM....I love big cookies...oh, but I'm dieting right now so none for me! How much fun was that taking a cookie to Italy then stopping off in France! As long as you don't count the V shaped bed and the little water problem!

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    1. Minor problems--nothing to deter us from travelling!

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