WHY DO OUR BODIES AGE SO MUCH FASTER THAN OUR MINDS?

    Bud & I used to love to travel. Anywhere. Now that I’m 77 & he’s almost 80, not so much. It isn’t just that flying has become such a hassle since 9/11, it’s that our bodies are revolting. (Take that any way you want—any interpretation is probably true!) It’s hard to travel & not take your body with you. Quite often, we’d travel without advance reservations—which usually turned out to be fun. If it wasn’t, you can always survive one night in a Motel Six! I’d like to share some great (& less than great) travel experiences with you.

     We went to the World’s Fair in Seattle in 1962. That’s when they built the Space Needle, which had a revolving restaurant at the top—the first one we’d ever been to. One of Bud’s clients, Bob Williams, was appearing at the fair & had rented a house, which he invited us to share with him during our stay. He had a comedy act with his dog, Louie. Bob was a bundle of energy & Louie was—well, watch this video & you’ll see!

   

     On our first trip to Hawaii, we thought we’d like to see Maui. We flew over without reservations—this was before Kaanapali was built up. We stopped for dinner, & since I finished before Bud, I went into the bar to use the phone & try to find us a room somewhere. Everyone was booked full! The bartender had been listening & offered to help. He asked me if I’d mind a place that had drunken troubadours in the halls. I told him that we’d stay ANYWHERE—we just needed a room! He called a friend at the Pioneer Hotel & said that he had two nice kids (this was in the late 60’s or early 70’s--we WERE kids at the time) who needed a room & asked if he could help us. I should have suspected something when he interrupted his conversation to ask us if we wanted the room with or without a bath. I asked him how much the rooms were & he told us they were $5.00 without a bath & $7.00 with. We splurged & got a $7.00 room. We went there, checked in & I started to undress, when a bright light flashed through our window. Then it went off. And back on. And back off. And back on. The window was covered by a sheer lace curtain & faced a lighthouse! I was so tired I just got into bed & fell asleep. I was awakened by Bud’s very loud snoring—at least I thought it was Bud snoring. I discovered that it was coming from another room. The hotel’s idea of air conditioning (in 1901, when it was built) was that if you had 7 foot high walls & a 9 foot ceiling, the air (& unfortunately, the noise) would circulate through the 2 foot gap at the top.

We had breakfast in their patio the next morning. Their macadamia pancakes were delicious--& we weren’t the only ones who thought so. There was a bunch of fat “poi dogs” (mutts) who would come to your table while you ate, plop down & wait for you to share your pancakes. They somehow sensed when your pancakes were gone, because then they got up, waddled to another table--& re-plopped. The hotel was featured in a Sunset Magazine article that month, where it was said they had recently undergone renovation. Bud figured this could only have consisted of their going from gas to electricity. I just looked it up online & found that it’s now a Best Western Hotel, so I have to assume things have changed. We sort of liked it the old way—for one night! Below is a copy of their house rules from 1901, misspellings & all:

You must pay you rent in advance.

You must not let you room go one day back.

Women is not allow in you room.

If you wet or burn you bed you going out.

You are not allow to gambel in you room.

You are not allow to give you bed to you freand.

If you freand stay overnight you must see mgr.

You must leave you room at 11 am so the women can

clean you room.

Only on Sunday you can sleep all day.

You are not allow in the down stears in the seating room or in

the dinering room or in the kitchen when you are drunk.

You are not allow to drink on the front porch.

You must use a shirt when you come to the seating room.

If you cant keep this rules please dont take the room.

     We were able to move to the King Kamehameha Hotel the next day. Bud hired a boat & its captain, Ted, to take him fishing. He caught an ahi (tuna) & Ted said one of the small local hotels would prepare & serve it for us at no charge if they could keep the rest. (It was yummy—you couldn’t have had any fresher!) We invited Ted & his wife, Joanie, to join us for dinner, along with several guests of that hotel. I think we put a “free dinner” notice on their chalkboard. Among our guests was a couple from Ireland, Derek & Patricia, who were there on their honeymoon. She worked for Aer Lingus, which was the only way they could afford the trip. They were married on the same day we were, just 15 or so years later. We enjoyed their company so much we invited them to go island hopping with us. On one island, Derek told the room clerk they were on their honeymoon & was asked why they were sharing a room with us. He answered, “Damned if I know!” Our travels were about to come to an end & they wanted to take over our rental car, so they went with us to the airport. Bud had bought leis for both me & Patricia. We were in the front seat & they were in the back. Derek had told his young wife (he KNEW better) that the term for receiving a lei was “getting laid” (lei-ed?) It was all I could do to keep from laughing at the young innocent when she said, “I just love getting laid! Don’t you love getting laid, Fran?” I just kept facing forward & nodded!

     More about Captain Ted: He & his wife decided to move back to the mainland when their son was in elementary school. They were concerned because his teacher told them that he was doing “mo’ betta” in English that year. Ted took Bud out several more times to try to catch a marlin. Bud told Ted’s wife & me to watch & see what was flying from the boat’s flagpole when they got back. He said that it would be either a marlin flag—or Ted! Joanie & I were both relieved to see this:

Sometimes it’s more fun when you don’t plan ahead----fishducky