Wednesday, June 22, 2011

You Know You're a Mother When . . .

    The Scribe and The Hippie are in Vacation Bible School this week.  A couple days ago, The Scribe came home, plopped onto the couch and read her Bible.  Her mouth dropped and her eyes got big like a Precious Moments illustration.
     "What's wrong?" I asked her.
    "It's just this Bible.  I realized that a bunch of people in the Bible 
. . . are dead."  She'd just finished the sentence, when a new discovery lit her eyes.  She put her hand to her mouth and gasped.  "Mom, this is terrible!  But EVERYONE in the Bible is dead!"
    So, I spent the rest of the evening trying to console her.  "They may be dead, but they're alive in Christ."  I said it, because it was the right answer!
    She blinked patronizingly, like I'd lost my mind.  "They're still dead."
     That got me thinking about all the crazy things we have to go through as a parent.  Sometimes it isn't easy, but at least it makes for a good laugh.


Here's my list of:  You know you're a mother when . . .

~you wear three hairbands in your hair, just in case one of your girls needs one

~you say "poo poo" and "pee pee" in public

~your shoulder smells like spit-up and your pants smell like baby powder

~you forgot to put make-up on your left eye (just your left one)

~you scream randomly, because you can

~you've cried because your child ate--A COUPON! 

~toys fill your vents and unflushed pee is festering in your toilets

~you sing Barney and Dora just for fun

~you're happy to buy a vacuum

~you've memorized the number to poison control AND the police department!

~you've called your children each other's names and maybe even the dog's name

~you no longer watch "adult" movies and if you do, your child likes the "s" word

~you have no hair, or gray hair where beautiful strawberry blonde hair used to be (I'm not naming any names, but this sounds an awful lot like my life)

~you don't wear matching socks

~your underwear is hanging in threads and you'd rather buy your kids clothes than get yourself something

~you don't dish up much food for yourself, since you know you'll have to finish your kids' food later

~you've chewed gum instead of brushing your teeth

~you've practically turned into your own parents

~you've said the phrase "if I have to say this ONE MORE TIME" 
. . . about a million times

~you still have pregnancy brain and your youngest is almost out of diapers

And finally . . .
~you blog just to stay sane

Do you have anything to add to this?