Saturday, June 18, 2011

I'm sick of looking incompetent!

    I mowed the lawn.  I'm not asking for an award or anything; I just had to beg for some advice.


    Our yard is almost a third of an acre.  Every time Cade mows it, I feel so bad for him.  That's why, the other day when the code enforcement guy drove past on his four wheeler, I decided to mow the lawn.  Now, this has never worked out well for me because two times (in the past) people have stopped and asked why I'm out working on the lawn.
    "Because I want to," I said each time.
    "Well, your husband should be mowing the lawn."
    "I wanted to mow it."
    "But it's your husband's job."
    Those comments made me so angry!  Especially since one guy came and had a talk with Cade about it.  "Your wife shouldn't be out mowing the lawn; it's embarrassing for you.  You're the man!"
   Those people make me hate living on a busy street--hate living in the town we're in.  Plus, if I want to mow my lawn, I don't see an issue with it!  So, the other day when I got ready to work on the yard, I slipped into a tank top, and swore I'd punch the first person who told me yard-work is a man's job!
    I mowed, having a grand ol' time, singing against the rumble of the mower.  I thought of growing up and how my dad used to love working on the lawn.  I giggled, wearing mower gear and deciding I might have a beer when I was done; I didn't know why but my dad said drinking and mowing went hand in hand.  That made me feel extra neat until some guy's truck purred to a stop across the street.
   He sat there, watching me and the birds stopped singing.  (Well, I couldn't hear them chirping before 'cause the mower was loud, but if I was a bird, I wouldn't have made a sound!)  I pushed the lawn mower faster and faster.  I glanced over my shoulder and hoped I could get away from the man's judgmental eyes.  It reminded me of the scary movie where the girl dies right after mowing her own damn lawn!  
    I swore he stared at me funny, looking at my back (or butt) and making me feel defiled.  Maybe mowing the lawn was too dangerous for me.  Maybe it attracted weirdos!  Even though I mowed faster, the jerk just waited for several minutes until my bag was full and I turned the mower off.
    "You need some help, miss?" he asked slowly in a crazy drawl.  "I'd happily mow the lawn for you.  You're an awful skinny, little thing to be mowing the lawn."
    An awful . . . skinny . . . little thing!   
    If he wanted to hurl some accusations, I could shoot some his way.  I was done being scared.  That old coot had made me angry!  He didn't seem the mowing type!  He looked like he was five-hundred years old.  He'd lost hair.  He was dressed up in a suit, on his way to church (not wearing mower gear and not someone who'd drink a beer). 
    I studied him; yep, I could mow circles around that sexist man.  
    "I think I got it," I said as I shook grass into the garbage can.  I'm sure I didn't look very capable as I did it.  The bag was a bit heavy.
    "Well ma'am, in my religion the men do the yard work."
     Did he really want to go there?  Seriously?  'Cause in my religion, you don't stare at a married woman's back for twenty minutes! 
    I gave him a crusty.  I actually gave that poor, old man a crusty--that's a big deal for me because usually I'm nice even when I'm mad.  
    The point is that I don't want to live life in some box.  If I want to mow my damn lawn, why do a million people always have to stop me?  Maybe I look really pathetic.  Maybe they think I've suffered a brain injury.  Or, maybe people are just being . . . nice.  But there is a point where it's not nice anymore and it's just offensive.  I mean, I could see him offering to help if I was a cripple, or if I'd cut off all my fingers and not just my thumb!  I'd understand if he hadn't eyed me for minutes on end!
    I probably sound terrible.  I probably do, but it's aggravating.  It makes me want to join the military just so I can look capable.  It's not that man's fault.  I bet he was being nice--maybe. And he would have mowed my lawn, even if he needed his cane and oxygen to stand.  
    I wasn't really mad at him or his religious beliefs.  I was upset that I didn't look capable of pushing a self-propelled LAWN MOWER!
    "You sure you don't need any help?" the man asked again, his eyes lingering on my boots, my holey jeans and then my tank top.
    "I'm fine!"  
    The man drove off toward the church.  I imagined Cade's response if people always asked him if he needed help mowing the lawn.  The thought was comical.  He would have ripped them a new one.
    So, instead of finishing the front yard.  I trudged into the house and grabbed a beer.  I suddenly understood why drinking and mowing go hand in hand.   My dad's such a wise man.  I swear I learn something from him at least once a week!

So what do you think?  Would you get frustrated or am I just being silly?  Basically I want you to pick a side.  Are you on mine or that old man's?  Be honest.  Go anonymous if you have to.  I need  some real opinions on this. 


  1. I think if the man hadn't oogled you for 20 minutes then he just would have been old-fashioned...and close-minded. Using religion as his reason is just crazy! I would have been mad in this instance too...especially since it's not the first time. I think you might scare these people because you are competent.

    If you were in a Dallas burb mowing your lawn you'd be called "Wonder Woman" and make the morning news....not just for mowing the lawn, but also for being real.


    ooh! This reminds me of when my mom was in her late 30's- single mom. Someone gave her an electric lawn mower with a power cord...she gave up mowing the lawn after running over the cord for the second time...and hired the neighborhood kid who mowed everyone elses lawn...I think his nickname was clue why, but I was 11 and liked to stare at him

  2. You are so awesome!

    "you'd be called "Wonder Woman" and make the morning news....not just for mowing the lawn" LMAO!!! That made me laugh soooo hard. I LOVE it.

    And Munchy--that's golden--I think The Scribe would love for me to hire a kid like that ;)

  3. I love mowing the lawn. Sometimes bout the only exercise I get.

  4. In my house growing up, my mom helped mow the lawn. Actually, I used to volunteer to do it so that I could get a tan while I was at it. I see no problem in you mowing if you want to.

  5. So let me get this str8, supposedly YARD work is for men and GARDENING is for women? I woulda ran him over with my lawn mower then repented and asked for forgiveness afterwards...just kidding (kinda)

  6. you should live in Latvia :D here the one who has free time mows the lawn. And mostly us, teenagers do it, lol.

    And I would also feel offended and weak. Who cares which one mows the lawn?

  7. I hate people that think you can't do something!

    Stuff like this is always happening to me and damn it used to annoy me, in the past I would get so mad I would have a little tantrum and storm off (I know very impressive) but now I honestly just ignore the dumbasses.

    When I moved into my uni house I had to put together a wardrobe and bookcase, now I'm no DIY queen but seriously how hard could it be? I got everything out and held my hammer with pride ready to get stuck in, when my friends boyfriend came in took the hammer off me and told me I shouldn't be doing that as I would hurt myself! What the actual feck?!?! My face must have been a picture as I was in complete shock and he refused to give me the hammer back, other than wrestling it from him I had no idea so I left him to put it together, a few hours I came back and nothing was done but he had decided to have a break...while on his break leaving the hammer alone and vulnerable I went at it and within half an hour the bookcase was up, he came back and asked who had put it together "I have, now piss off and let the woman work!" it was at least a week or two before he decided to insult me again...

    I've decided men like to tell us ladies we can't do things because otherwise they would feel completely useless! To be honest what do we even need them for apart from babies?

  8. Nobody ever feels sorry for me when I am mowing my lawn. Matter of fact, I think most of the lawns in my neighborhood are mowed by the women. I don't know if that means that the men in our neighborhood don't care if they look like lazy $##$%, or if people are just used to it. You can come over here and mow my lawn any time you want to feel capable. Or, maybe it is just that you are so cute and guys want to do everything for you. :-) Anytime you want to come over here and mow my lawn to see what would happen, come on over. I would love the break, and I am certain the men in my neighborhood would love the view. *giggle*

  9. Well - I was kind proud watching you mow your lawn last week. You go!! I used to mow the yard all the time - until my boys got old enough and wanted to earn some extra money. PS My hubbie also got in trouble from a concerned citizen for "letting" me mow the lawn - so just know you're not the first. BTW - if you need some cute 10 and 11year old boys to mow so Scribe and Hippie can "check them out" - let me know ha ha

  10. ps i wasn't "watching you" watching you mow your lawn - in case i gave you the wrong idea - LOL

  11. Ok...I am old too...well younger than that guy..I am like 250 yo instead of 500 yo :-) My religion teaches me all people are created equal which I think means if a woman wants to mow the grass more power to her !!!

    Now here is what I would have told that old guy..."mowing the grass keeps me a lean...mean..lovin machine for my hubby. It is wonderful exercise and and if you oggle my butt one more time my husband is going to come out of the house and kick you butt."

    Sorry Elisa..I couldn't help it...what with the code guy causing me having to invent a 3" grass cutting device for you and Melynda now I have to invent a device that will temporaryly blind dirty old men who look at your tushies...haha

  12. lol I love that! I think the problem is not a woman mowing the lawn dear girl. The problem is you are beautiful and a ray of sunshine and everyone wants to meet you. It's just an excuse. I mow all the time, I pull weeks and garden ask me how many times people have stopped and ask to do it for me. Zero. It's just you girlie.

  13. Natalie was totally checking you out, lol. ;) This is where we are different. I haven't had anyone help me mow my lawn, but in the wintertime, if I wait until all the neighbors are out shoveling, I get all kinds of help. Especially if I do it without gloves, oh, and if I do random blocks.

  14. What is a crusty? Anyways,relax and enjoy the attention while you can. In a few years you will start to sagg, your hair will turn dull and grey and you too will become invisible. Incompetance has nothing to do with it.

  15. LOL! I think this neighborhood is just a different world ;) There are a bunch of farmers who just want to help. (Still a bit sexist though.)

    A crusty is the meanest look in the world. It's better than owning a gun. It's slicker than ice. It can curdle milk, beat Cerberus and Thor (if used correctly.) I LOVE crusties ;)

  16. I am with you, girl. You could mow circle around that old dude.
    On my childhood farm, one of the kids' duties was to mow the yard--all 1.5 acres of it. Even though we lived in a rural area, the yard had to be mowed; a point of pride I guess. Girls were the best mowers, since we actually cared about the peonies, and other flowers to mow around. Boys just plowed over them.
    Open another beer for me.

  17. I love to mow the grass. It gets me outside, is good exercise AND it's productive. The Hubs works 2 jobs so I do this (I personally think men make such a big job of how hard it is so that they can do it). It's really pretty fun.

    We have an acre and a half. The only person that tells me that I shouldn't do it is my best friend. She says. "That's what you have a husband for."

  18. I have offered to mow my lawn but my husband said he would rather do it so I don't mow over something. I did see you out mowing and like Natalie I didn't stare.
    Good Job Elisa (wonder of women)