Saturday, August 6, 2011

Puss in Boots and a Dilated Eye

    So, my awesome friend Melynda had eye surgery yesterday. All of us over here have been super worried.  My kids will never forget when she came home from the doctor (last week) and her pupils were dilated.
    "That was soooo cool!" The Scribe reminisced about it yesterday.
    "I know," The Hippie said.  "She looked like Puss in Boots when he's being all sweet!"
    So, while we talked about this, I had a very busy moment.  The Zombie Elf did a potty-dance.  Doctor Jones (my one-year-old) sky dived from the top of my couch.  My girls chattered on and on, while I thought I'd lose my mind.
    "How long did her eyes stay dilated like that?" The Scribe asked.
    "A few hours."  I murmured after just catching Doctor Jones since she doesn't have a parachute.
    The Scribe nodded.  "I want to get my eyes dilated too.  I could do anything I wanted for one whole day.  Who can say 'no' to those eyes?  I'd go to the amusement park, get FREE cotton candy.  I'd win things without even playing the games, because my eyes would be the prize!"
    "You know the day Melynda had her eyes dilated?" The Hippie suddenly asked.  "Well one never went back.  The black part is still big."
    "Her eye's been hurting bad, Hon." I said.  "But hopefully things will be better after today."
    "What are they doing to her?"
    "They have to remove scar tissue, fix the lens."
    The Scribe chimed in.  "Mr. P said they'll pull her eye out, work on it and then put it back in.  That sounds like it might hurt."
    Ya think.
    "Poor, Melynda!" The Hippie suddenly screamed.  "Poor . . . me!"
    "What?  Poor you?  This isn't about you; it's about Melynda."  
    "Listen," my dramatic Hippie said.  "Once, years ago, Melynda told me to stop looking at the sun because it could hurt my eyes.  Well, I like the sun.  I really like it and I didn't listen, Mom.  I bet Melynda was trying to save me, because she was just like me when she was a kid.  Now I'll need that surgery too.  They'll pull my eye out of my face and maybe even give me a glass eye or an eye that's the wrong color!"
    I wanted to ask more, but The Zombie Elf had heard us talking about his beloved Melynda.  He burst from the bathroom--NAKED (shocker)--and ran out the front door.  "Linda!" He screamed.  "Linda, you all right?  Your eye.  Your eye."
    "Get your butt back in here."  I ran after him and a bunch of reserved neighbors watched as I dragged my naked three-year-old through the front grass and back into the house.  They looked at me like child protection should be their next option and I slammed the door.
    When I got back inside, I watched in slow motion as Doctor Jones jumped from the arm of the couch.  She jumped high--for a baby--living true to the name of Dr. Indiana Jones.  She stayed mid-air for a moment, at the peak of her jump.  I dove then too, trying to cushion her fall, but that floating baby was too far away.  She descended slowly--one of those split-second moments that last forever.  I remembered Zeke then, the day he was born, the day he died.  
    I prayed as fast as I could.  "God please don't take another one of my babies.  I prayed all that, and right as the baby fell, The Scribe jumped in the way and softened the fall.
    "We don't want two family members in the hospital.  Is the baby okay?" The Scribe trembled, holding our baby in her arms.  I thought that was so sweet; she referred to Melynda as family.   
    The baby did seem all right.  She just stared at all of us crowding around her. 
    "She isn't moving," The Scribe continued.  "Grandma always talks about brain damage.  How do we know if the baby has it?"
    "Her pupils will go really big."
    The Scribe turned to me and scoffed.  "That isn't a sign of brain damage.  That's a sign of awesomeness.  Melynda's one pupil is always big and she's one of the smartest people I know!"
    So, Melynda called later and everything turned out all right.  I'm so glad she's okay.  It hit me then, how she really is like a member of our family.  I went over to visit her and when I got back, The Hippie asked, "Does she have a glass eye?"
    "Did they put in someone else's eye, like a brown one, or a pink one?"
    "So, she's all better?"
    "She's still recovering, but she'll be fine now.  They gave her a patch to wear over her--"
    "A patch?" The Scribe clutched after every detail.  That's even cooler than dilated eyes!  Now she's part pirate!"
    We love you, Melynda.  Get feeling better.
    Here are some silly pictures of us together.  
If you're wondering who's who, I'm the victim.  
Melynda's one tough chick!  
Oh, and The Hippie's in front of us.  Big shocker.  She dressed herself that morning.
Pictures taken by Shear Luck Enterprises



  1. that's right I am part pirate and part tough chick. hee hee You're kids are so darling. I only told the Hippie that the morning of her birthday party.. although for a 7 year old that would seem like years ago. Glad Dr Jones is ok and the Scribe would be disappointed with my patch.. Not exactly a priate patch i'm afraid. I look more like metal face. As for my little Elf boy, Aw he loves me. He can come see me anytime poor baby.. Warn me first and I'll take this thing off so he doesn't get scared.

  2. aww. your kids are hilarious. and cute. It's so sweet how you take care of each other :) lot of love there :)

  3. You & Melynda & your kids ARE family, according to MY definition. "Family--a group of people who love you." How you two can consistently write such funny posts about such potentally unfunny things constantly amazes me.

  4. These stories always make my day! Have a great weekend!

  5. Hysterical post, except for the scare about the baby falling...but otherwise, I was ready to pee my pants. Especially at the image of your streaker running through the neighborhood- my brother used to do that when we were little and I was stuck babysitting and the neighbors ALWAYS called my mom to tell her that I was 'letting' him run outside naked. Also, your kids reaction to the enlarged pupils reminds me of how the ancient Romans and Greeks used Belladonna to increase feminine beauty with enormous pupils-course they were stoned and could die, but that wouldn't be the only time women did something really dumb to look good.

  6. I was holding my breath as your precious baby leaped...Thank goodness big sis was close enough!! Next time I get my eyes dilated, I'm going to try and get into as many places free that I can! I can't believe I haven't thought of that before! I love your family's bond with Melynda and her family (especially your 3 year old's willingness to expose himself!).

  7. Oh, what a wonderful post (apart from the panic-stricken, holding my breath moment when the baby was suspended in her mid-air dive!) capturing all the moods and moments of full-time Motherhood. The constant chatter, both external and internal, interlaced with all the love and concern for Melynda, who clearly has won the hearts of your four adorable little people. I can see why Melynda loves them so much, too!

    We have all been punting for her and it's so good to know she has you living right across the road. It was so wonderful hearing you'd taken supper round the other evening. I know what extra effort that will have involved with four of your own children to have to feed and keep busy at the same time you were preparing a large enough meal to share with Melynda and her family...but that's true friendship, jumping right in to help when the need arises. You really are a star, Elisa & it's no wonder you two get along so well. You're cut from the same cloth. Both incredibly caring and sincere and both so jolly amusing!

  8. These comments are all so fun ;) We really are like family.
    P. S. I need to research Belladonna.

    You're always so sweet. Thank you. That meant a ton to me.

  9. The term "three-ring-circus" best describes your delightful household, Elisa. Melynda directed me to your blog and I'm grateful that she did. Two neighbors with the same sense of the ridiculous is such a serendipitous wonder.

    Wondrous also is being able to read both your blogs and finding a day's worth of laughter. Pressed down and overflowing.

    To find the positive side as well as the funny side in our journey through life is a gift. You are truly gifted, Elisa, not just with your family and your neighbors but in your whole approach to living.

    I'm so enchanted with your blog. Thank you for sharing this gift with all of us who happily find you.

  10. Dee,

    Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I'm so happy that blogging has allowed me to meet amazing people like you.


  11. Oohh, what a life you lead! I am so glad Melynda has a neighbor and friend in you and the crew.
    Those photos, awesome! You crazy ladies!

  12. *LOL* Love your blog! You are very talented.