Sunday, July 17, 2011

Doctor Jones and the Sucker Raid

    In case you've forgotten, Doctor Jones is my one-year-old baby girl.  She's so adventurous--so girly--that she cracks me up.  She loves wearing tutus and sparkly things.  She claps and sings about pudding and dainty muffins.  That girl is a baby princess, but there is a reason I call her Doctor Jones.
    She's spicy.  There's no better way of describing it.  Cade said she's just like me.  She was born thirty minutes before my birthday.  I tried holding her in, but I'd gone all natural and that kid came out swinging--right under the delivery blanket.  The nurse had to deliver her!  Anyway, no need to thank me for that visual (sorry).  
   Spicy is my code word for awesome spunk and that kid is oh so spicy!
    Let me explain:

    Curry is spicy!

This kid . . . probably not so much.


    Jackie Chan is spicy (on a couple levels here--check out those muscles)

This picture is really . . . not spicy.

Lucy is way spicy!

This gull . . . is not!

    Now that you understand, Doctor Jones is oh so spicy!
He's spunky and full of wit.  He's amazing.  
Plus, he has eyebrows!  

    Anyway, my baby girl (Doctor Jones), is way spicy too.  I realized it the other day when she hung out with her boyfriend.  (I know you think a one-year-old is too young to date, but it just sort of happened.)  Her boyfriend, The Giant, is two weeks younger than her.  Doctor Jones is already a cougar like her role model Melynda (, and she's lovin' it. 
    So, they hung out.  Her boyfriend may be younger, but he's HUGE!  My girl is only in the 5th percent for height and that cougar lover is in the 95th percent.  
    He's a giant of a kid and he loves hugs.  The Giant wrapped his arms around my baby and gave her the hug of death.  Doctor Jones didn't know what to do, and instead of crying right off, she put her arm around The Giant and squeezed him back.  
    They hugged, each one squishing harder and harder, until they looked over and cried.  Both babies wanted away, but couldn't get out of the death grip.  I saved Doctor Jones and giggled.  That reminded me of my first relationship--maybe she is a bit like me!
    The Giant's mother felt bad that they cried, so she gave each of them a sucker.  Doctor Jones got a pink one and The Giant got a blue one.  I don't know what inspired it, but The Giant suddenly stepped toward Doctor Jones, and knocked her across the face.
    My princess, my pudding-lover tumbled backward.  Everyone held their breath.  We'd just watched a guy hit a girl.  That's not something you see every day and it shocked the Hell out of me.
    My jaw dropped.  I watched Doctor Jones stumble on her wobbly baby legs.  She gained her footing, and her poofy handmade dress swayed as she stood straight again.  She looked so chubby, so absolutely perfect even though she'd taken a beating and lived.
    The Giant smiled, grinning because he'd almost knocked her down, but my baby didn't cry.  She just looked at her fiancee, glared really.  Then, she yanked the sucker from his mouth and stuck it into her own.  
    By the end of it, my girl had two suckers hanging from her mouth, and The Giant didn't give her any more trouble.  She'd trained that boy, and taught him why it's good to treat "a lady" right!
    "I'm so sorry," I told the other mother as I took the blue sucker out of Jones's mouth.  "I've never seen her act like this."
    "That was awesome!" my friend said.  "Good for her, for standing up for herself!"
    I grinned at Doctor Jones.  There she stood, wearing the girliest dress in the world.  The light sparkled off her brown curls, yet she still looked like the spiciest thing ever! 


  1. Excellent. You need to be published. For real and for pay. I would buy the book.

  2. Dr Jones my sweetest baby girl! So she's gonna be like her Auntie M huh? Knew that girl was smart. lol

  3. Bartendercabbie-
    What an awesome compliment. Thank you so much.
    I keep counting the days until my journal (about my son who passed away) will come out. I'm publishing it on his birthday in November.

    Yep, she's gonna be just like you (I hope) *giggles* That would be soooo COOL!


  4. Spicy women ROCK!
    Good for you and Dr. Jones!

  5. Cute post Elisa - Gotta love the SPICY!

  6. Hehe she sounds absolutely awesome and spicy!!!

  7. Oh my gosh...a Melynda in kool is that :-) I just hope there in no Jeffie's in training...the world needs more Melyndas (and Elisas) , but, more Jeffie's...I don't think so...haha

  8. She's a sweet kid, although I would say she would rather be in her diaper than in a tutu. I miss her. :(

  9. I think she would get along great with The Peanut. Spicey sounds like our kind of girl!

  10. Dr. Jones 1 Giant 0. I love this post, your kid showed him who's boss of the suckers.....Yup, you should write a book about this kid's adventures.