I'm taking her in for an ultrasound first thing tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping that will help bring answers somehow. I keep worrying that she could have some type of hernia. Cade had one . . . Zeke died from one in his diaphragm. Anyway, we'll see what will happen.
All of these pains, and the throwing up really has me worried. Thanks again for your prayers.
Now, onto an allegory. I've been having a hard time with certain things, so here's my way of writing it out.
The Path Where All Men Are Tested and Tried
click picture for photo credit
The dirt path stretched far ahead. I knew I should travel straight toward the afternoon sun, but things weren't that easy. Traps rested on both sides of the trail--traps meant to entangle human minds and souls.
I'd seen strange things along the journey--a woman who chained herself to a rock because she wanted to constantly stare at the valley behind her, where she'd come from, memories of what she'd done and those she'd lost. I met a couple so concerned with diamonds at one "Y" in the road, they didn't keep traveling. They'd been so weighed down with riches, they set up a shop and enticed others traveling behind them.
I shouldn't have judged though. I too had vices that could keep me from moving along. We'd all been walking this path since the day we were born. Each soul wanted to find a place we'd heard of, the paradise only the sun could illuminate at the very end of the path.
Thinking of all these things, I went up over a hill. Of course two more traps rested ahead. One was a cage, sitting on the left of the path and the other trap waited so far away I struggled to see it.
Huge lush trees hung in contrast over the metal bars of the cage. I looked at the man inside. Although the door splayed open, the man wouldn't leave. He rocked back and forth, holding an electronic device that was chained to a bar. "Come out," I said. "The door's open. You have to know we're all being tested and tried. Come with me. Maybe we can walk toward the sun together."
His sad eyes gazed at me. "Why would I come out?" he asked.
"Because, you're in a cage . . . don't you want to keep moving? Imagine the wonders we'll see if we can just make it."
"No. This is more important. I have to stay here because I can't bring these pictures along."
I looked at the images on the electronic screen and felt sick. "You won't keep going?" I asked.
"I've tried. My brother got away, but I keep coming back."
I left him and walked farther, remembering a time when I'd lost my own way. Instead of walking toward the sun, I'd veered onto another path and nearly fallen off a cliff. I lost someone close to me that day--part of myself.
After time passed, I finally saw the other trap more clearly. But as I looked, it broke my heart. Dozens of people were in a deep hole, screaming for me to help them. I reached down, but it was too far to save anyone. The people below me battled fighting and clawing. One woman climbed onto a man's back. She was so close to reaching my hand, but then the others pulled her down.
Another part of the hole sloped just enough that someone could climb out if they were good enough at climbing, but no one would let them. They just grabbed each other again, being selfish and greedy. "I won't let you get out first," a man screamed. Each time someone got close to the slope or my hand, another person would yank them down.
"Work together!" I said.
"And let someone else get out first? They'll rise above the rest of us! If I can't be the most successful, then no one else can."
I gaped. It was one of the saddest traps I'd ever seen.
"But we can all succeed," I argued.
A man laughed cruelly. "You are so stupid."
Then all of the mockery and jeers they'd been sending to each other turned to me. "You're a failure," they said. "You actually think it's important to make it to the sun? You'll never make it there, ever. What a pipe-dream. It's the sun and you're only a human."
"We've never met anyone who's made it there," one woman in particular shouted to me. "Turn around. You're going the wrong way. Instead of chasing the sun, the perpetual day, shouldn't you be chasing the night? It can't burn you. You won't be as exhausted from the pounding rays. You won't even be able to see the traps at the sides of the road."
"But then I won't be able to see anything clearly in the darkness," I said.
"And so you'll never experience pain again. Isn't ignorance bliss?" Somehow her words made sense. In a strange way, I became more mired than ever before. I stayed, trying to talk to the people--reason with them. And as we all debated, I was too busy arguing to notice the woman who'd first confused me so much, the woman who spoke of the night.
She sneaked behind the group and climbed up the slope leading from the hole. Now that no one noticed to pull her down, she finally made it out. "I'm free," she shouted, then instead of going toward the night--the way she'd told me to go--she ran toward the sun and laughed. "I want to be the only one who succeeds. Me! Me! Me!" And the woman ran, seeking success and happiness, still hoping everyone else would believe her words and go the wrong way.
I no longer stood after that. I no longer continued on my way. Depression overtook me as I tried reasoning with those unwilling to help each other, and the whole time I wondered why some people think success is only attained when everyone else fails.
Well, I'm off to keep working on Homeless in Hawaii. I'll be back next Wednesday. Fishducky will be guesting here each Monday and Friday to help out while I'm taking a break. I hope all of you are doing awesome.
If you're new here and would like more info about my books or writing, please visit my author site: www.ecstilson.com
I hope your daughter feels better soon! That's scary not knowing what's wrong. Also, your writing is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteKeeping my fingers and ties crossed for the Hippie. Hopefully the doctors figure out the cause and fix her up real quick.
ReplyDeleteFingers and TOES. Stupid autocorrect.
DeletePraying all goes well with your lil one...I like the allegory you shared.
ReplyDeleteApologies if this double posts. Anyway, keeping my fingers crossed for the hippie. Wishing her a speedy recovery and the hope that the doctors both figure out what's wrong and patch her up real quick.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for The Hippie.
ReplyDeleteYour story totally grabbed me!!!
Because people rate their success against the loss and failure of others. They should value their own self worth.
ReplyDeleteI hope they figure out what's going on with The Hippie. And soon!
ReplyDeleteHave them see if she needs a meckelectomy. And no, I'm not kidding.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meckel%27s_diverticulum
ReplyDeleteDoug had to have emergency surgery a few years ago. They're rare, but real.'
You are in my prayers kiddo. Pls keep us informed.
Oh I hope the Hippie can feel better soon and that you can figure out what's wrong! I hate when my children are in pain or sick! And it's worse not knowing why!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It reminds me of moments in my life when I've seen traps others have been in, but they can't see it themselves. OR even moments when I've been in those traps in my past and not seen it either or just not known how to escape and those who refuse to let others succeed. So beautifully written.
Still praying! Hope you guys have some answers soon. Loved your allegory. Why don't more people help each other to succeed? Keep on the path toward the sun, Elisa!
ReplyDeleteWell written, and I totally understand. As for our girl, I had appendicitis when I was in first grade, but no one knew what was wrong. I was sick off and on for months. Finally, I was in so much pain that I had exploratory surgery. I came out of the surgery minus one appendix. So, it could be appendicitis. I wish I could give you a definitive diagnosis and treatment.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Well I think you tackled a lot of issues and people problems here. :) Can't say I disagree with you though. If people would stop stabbing each other in the back and try helping each other we could all succeed.. Bravo my friend.
ReplyDeleteKeep in the back of your mind that MANY people (including Youngest and myself) do not show positive for Celiac markers with the blood test. If there isn't significant damage, the markers won't show. This is common for children because the damage takes a long time to show up and become severe. Keep looking into other things, but don't rule out wheat/gluten allergy.
ReplyDeleteOH... and the book arrived yesterday. I/we are so excited to give it to his teacher. Thanks again!
I hope they will find out what is wrong with the Hippie and soon. I will keep her in my prayers. Please let us know how she is doing.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I hope they figure out what's going on with your daughter. I will pray for her. Your writing takes my breath away. It is so powerful and moving. I saw everything and everyone, just as you wrote it! Powerful, powerful message!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
~Erin
You must be feeling frantic about Hippie. I can only hope that she gets better.
ReplyDeleteDear Elisa, my prayers and thoughts and visualizations are with the Hippie and with you, also, as the two of you seek answers to all this pain. Please keep letting us know what's happening.
ReplyDeleteAs to your allegory: I so hope that you move forward toward the sun and toward the deep pool of refreshing and life-giving water that rests between it. Out of the warmth of the sun, freely chosen, and the refreshment of the pool can come true growth in the human spirit.
Peace.
WOW - lots and lots of prayers for your daughter! That's so scary.
ReplyDeleteKeep us posted.
Leigh
Wow, in just a few paragraphs you managed to pinpoint some of the worst human vices. Good for you. I hope Hippie feels better soon!
ReplyDeleteGreat write as always at your sea and you even came to visit me..lol...hopefully they find out soon, as it sucks when you don't know.
ReplyDeleteI also hope your daughter gets some relief and answers quickly. Your writing always amazes me. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteI am sending lots of positive energy to you, the Hippie, and your family. I was hoping I would stop by to find out she was doing better.
ReplyDeleteAmazing photo to go with your allegory.
~Jess
Oh, I'm praying for her! I hope that the hippie is ok!! xo
ReplyDelete