Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Scribe and Someone Like You

    The Scribe told me she'd signed up for a talent show that would take place THE NEXT DAY.  She talked like it was no big deal.  "I need to sing a song about break-ups.  SO, you need to learn a song on the piano.  I'll sing while you play.  It'll be great and easy."
    For who!  "But the talent show's tomorrow."
    "I know.  I just told you that."
    "And you want me to learn a new song . . . in less than a day?"
    "Well, yeah.  You're a mother aren't you?"
    Like mothers have powers . . . laser vision and boobs of steel.  I'm not a freakin' super hero, but still, I learned Adele's "Someone Like You"--that's what love can do for ya. And by some twist of fate we perfected it enough that I could accompany the Scribe at her talent show.  
    Now the thing about the Scribe is that until Monday, I didn't know she moonlights as a heart-breaker.  Her voice drifted sweet and clear at the performance.  I kept wishing she had a mic, but apparently that didn't matter.  Several parents--and my mother--informed me of what went on while the Scribe sang, "Sometimes it lasts with love, but sometimes it hurts instead."  Apparently several of the boys were nodding forlornly.  One of them was rude and stuck his tongue out at her!  
    After school, I pulled the Scribe aside.  "Why did parents say boys were pointing and nodding while you sang?"
    "Those guys thought the song was about me and them."
    "What?  How many hearts have you broken?"
    "At least ten."
    "Scribe.  That isn't nice."  For living only a decade, she sure thinks she's a teenager.
    "Ten hearts.  That's one a year.  Not bad if you ask me."  She strutted--like a dude!
    "You really think they thought you sang to them?"
    "Oh, yeah," she said.  "I know they did because I talked to each of them separately at recess and told them the song was for them."
    "Yeah.  One kid said he loved me.  I said he shouldn't have kissed Maisy on a dare then!  Boys.  They always want to kiss Maisy and tell."
    "Plus, guys will believe anything.  I'll only date when I meet a smart one who can see through my lies."
    "Oh really?  And you lie often?"
    "Yep."  She shrugged and started singing Adele's "Someone Like You" again as she went up to her bedroom, giggling the whole time.
    Are heart-breakers made or are they just born that way?  The poor guy who catches the Scribe.  He'll have his work cut out for him!  

    In closing, on Monday my book sales for Bible Girl & the Bad Boy were the best they've ever been.  I attribute this to my wise choice of drinks.  Sunday night I drank a coke and my book rating hit 77 on Amazon. I drank black coffee Monday morning and it hit 22. I drank beer and it hit 15. Then one question plagued me . . . What drink could boost sales even more?! What was better than beer, seriously? Holy water?
    Well, apparently water was not the right choice--holy or otherwise.  My ranking plummeted back to 22--which had sounded so fantastic just hours before--maybe ignorance really is bliss.  At least one thing is for sure, I'm never drinking water again, ever.