An Interview with My Nine-year-old Scribe
When does a person become an adult?
When they pass all the grades.
Why do you think so?
That means they're smart enough to be an adult.
What about people that have passed all the grades, but are still bad drivers?
They're weirdos, Mom!
If you could change one rule that your family has, what would you change?
I would want to clean more.
Did you just say that to sound extra sweet?
Are you sure?
Yes, you said that to sound extra sweet?
Yes . . . wait. I'm confused!
What is something that makes you special?
I don't know. Can you tell me?
First tell me . . . what do you think I'd say?
That I'm silly and good at art and math.
And that you're so much fun to be around!
Of all the things you're learning, what do you think will be the most useful when you grow up?
Maybe math because when you study sea creatures you need to know multiplication.
Are you a good friend?
Yes, I'm nice
What nice things do you do?
I share my Barbies and stuff. Plus I teach them how to play school and how to be tree girls.
How would the world be different if animals could talk?
You could share secrets with them.
What secrets would you share?
What are your special secrets?
I'm not telling you! It's a secret!
Would you cheat on a test if you knew you would not get caught?
NO! Why would I say yes to that? Is that even a real question?
No, I was just checking.
If you could grow up to be famous, what would you want to be famous for?
Singing. I love to sing.
What would your stage name be?
Isabella. It's a pretty name.
Did you pick it just 'cause it's pretty?
Yes . . . wait a minute. No!
So what is it, yes or no?
If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
Play tricks on people--maybe dump water on their heads.
Tricks on what people?
People like you
Oh really. Wait 'til I'm invisible for a day!
What is the best gift you've ever given?
I don't know
Don't you give gifts?
Then what's the best one?
I don't know. Why do you need to know so bad anyway? Maybe that's one of the secrets I'd tell the animals!
What is the hardest thing about being a kid?
That the younger kids get what they want and the oldest kid gets stuck with the chores
You're younger than a lot of kids I know. So is it really a bad thing?
No, not really. Not when you confuse me like that.
If you were a teacher and the kids in your class would not listen, what would you do?
I'd turn into the teacher from the Black Lagoon.
Where is your favorite place in the world?
The Black Lagoon
Because that's where the bad teachers go
If you could give one gift to every single child in the world, what gift would you give?
Really, really cool bluish-greenish gems.
Because they're cool . . . cooler than these hard questions!
If you could travel back in time three years and visit your younger self, what advice would you give?
Don't put cat poop on the teacher's chair. It's not worth it.
Because it smells?
What five words do you think most describe you?
Beautiful, nice, smart, long-haired, flexible
What does flexible mean?
That I can do things most regular people can't.
It means that you can stretch.
If you could invent something that would make life easier for people, what would you invent?
A robot to answer these questions for me
When was a time that you felt lucky?
When I found a four leaf clover on the first day of dance class. I really did.
Did you dance extra fantastic that day?
Did anything else cool happen that day?
Yeah, I made a ton of new friends.
What do you think would be the hardest thing about being blind?
That I couldn't find my way to the movie vader?
You mean, movie theater?
If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what rule would you make?
NO more blog questions.
I just said . . . NO MORE BLOG QUESTIONS!
I'm angry . . .
Can you stop that?
What was the first question you asked me again?
If you believe in magic.
Wrong. You asked if I'd answer A FEW questions.
Ha ha! Love you, Scribe.
I love you too, Mama goofball. I guess that was kind of fun.