Wednesday, June 22, 2011

You Know You're a Mother When . . .

    The Scribe and The Hippie are in Vacation Bible School this week.  A couple days ago, The Scribe came home, plopped onto the couch and read her Bible.  Her mouth dropped and her eyes got big like a Precious Moments illustration.
     "What's wrong?" I asked her.
    "It's just this Bible.  I realized that a bunch of people in the Bible 
. . . are dead."  She'd just finished the sentence, when a new discovery lit her eyes.  She put her hand to her mouth and gasped.  "Mom, this is terrible!  But EVERYONE in the Bible is dead!"
    So, I spent the rest of the evening trying to console her.  "They may be dead, but they're alive in Christ."  I said it, because it was the right answer!
    She blinked patronizingly, like I'd lost my mind.  "They're still dead."
     That got me thinking about all the crazy things we have to go through as a parent.  Sometimes it isn't easy, but at least it makes for a good laugh.


Here's my list of:  You know you're a mother when . . .

~you wear three hairbands in your hair, just in case one of your girls needs one

~you say "poo poo" and "pee pee" in public

~your shoulder smells like spit-up and your pants smell like baby powder

~you forgot to put make-up on your left eye (just your left one)

~you scream randomly, because you can

~you've cried because your child ate--A COUPON! 

~toys fill your vents and unflushed pee is festering in your toilets

~you sing Barney and Dora just for fun

~you're happy to buy a vacuum

~you've memorized the number to poison control AND the police department!

~you've called your children each other's names and maybe even the dog's name

~you no longer watch "adult" movies and if you do, your child likes the "s" word

~you have no hair, or gray hair where beautiful strawberry blonde hair used to be (I'm not naming any names, but this sounds an awful lot like my life)

~you don't wear matching socks

~your underwear is hanging in threads and you'd rather buy your kids clothes than get yourself something

~you don't dish up much food for yourself, since you know you'll have to finish your kids' food later

~you've chewed gum instead of brushing your teeth

~you've practically turned into your own parents

~you've said the phrase "if I have to say this ONE MORE TIME" 
. . . about a million times

~you still have pregnancy brain and your youngest is almost out of diapers

And finally . . .
~you blog just to stay sane

Do you have anything to add to this?


  1. lol i love it, blog just to stay sane. =P

  2. ---Your favorite TV channels are programed to shows you would not normally watch, Like cartoon network...
    -----You start singing children's songs out loud without thinking about it...
    ----You find more ways to use cool-aide than you ever thought you would need to know...
    ---you collect extra napkins and have then stashed everywhere...
    ---you hide candy in out of reach, and eventually secret places...
    ---you child proof everything and then have to learn how to use it yourself...
    ---when you fall a sleep in your kids bed more than you do your own....

    This list could go on forever...LOL, nice post.

  3. Oh my gosh! This one had me rolling:
    "---you hide candy in out of reach, and eventually secret places..."

    I just lived through this yesterday. I found Halloween candy AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT YEAR IT'S FROM! Soooo hilarious! That got thrown in the garbage ;)

  4. Yes,yes, and YES! Hhahah great post! The one about the "underwear hanging in threads" I can so relate to. I had to trash 4 pairs last week just coz' there were one too many holes than necessary...

  5. The Scribe is so sweet! Sounds like her "aha" moment is one she'll never forget...and I'm sure you handled it very well with her.
    Peanut and I went to a furniture store a few years back to pick out her big girl bedroom furniture. I splurged and agreed to get her this big, fuzzy bean bag chair. I was so sure she was going to pick the pink one, but instead she chose lavendar. When I asked her why not pink, she said "Because the pink one hurts my eyes". Huh? Then she reminded me that when she tested out the pink one in the store the sun was in her eyes. Cute thing thought that if she got the pink one home that the sun would also be in her eyes. She was 4. Love those cute little minds!

  6. I love your kids! As for my list?
    If you carry wet naps around just in case
    You have extra outfits in the car :just in case"
    you carry peanut butter in the car "just in case"
    You know where every drinking fountain and bathrrom in every store is "just in case"
    plus all the ones you and Siv listed. Pretty sure we are close to covering it girls.

  7. My list?
    You have hot wheels in your purse.
    The tube of lipstick has been rolled up into its cap, or is ten years old, but was a pretty chocolate mauve at one time.
    You have four thermometers in either the med. cabinet, kitchen spice rack, or behind the couch.
    Your children go to "Olive Garden" and order Spaghettio's.
    You have a huge cemetery of deceased pets in the backyard.
    Great post!

  8. I'm with Susan on the thermometers, only none of mine work when I need them to.

    I also am a "Just in case" kind of mom...makes for a lot of stuff to carry around.

  9. This is too funny! I love the part about singing kids songs, even without your kids. I think I know all of Elmo's greatest hits.
    I'll add, when you have a spare diaper everywhere... the purse, the trunk, the glovebox. Whether or not you currently have kids in diapers. :)

  10. this blog is now officially my home page =P

  11. you carry peanut butter in the car "just in case"

    LOL :D

    now when I'll think about becoming a mom, I'll know what to prepare for :D

  12. I LOVED reading these!

    Now I don't feel so alone about still having a size one diaper in my car, hanging onto thready clothes, having A TON of thermometers, bringing peanut butter in the car, and having a hard time with the color pink LOL! These comments seriously made my day. :0)

  13. The day I got my Dyson was the third happiest day of my life.

    The day the cat stops leaving cat hair everywhere may be the fourth.

    Police and Poison control are on speed dail.

    I was broke, so I once told my son that the tooth fairy doesn't work on Valentines day because we wouldn't want there to be an arrow mishap.

    Dang. Looks like I'm a real Mom now.