Monday, June 13, 2011

The Scribe and The Fallout (Part 2)

The Scribe burst from the doors of the school.  "Mama, I'm going to die."

"No, you're not.  But maybe I am.  You told the teacher your friend would hurt the baby?" 

She gawked at me.  "Yeah, well that's not what this is about.  I need to talk to you because I told everyone I won't be friends with them anymore."

"What!  Why did you do that?"

"I don't want to lose my best friend.  I made her a little gift, wrote her a note and everything about how I want to be friends with her and everyone, but she said that wouldn't work.  I either told the class, or she'd drop me."

"This has gone too far."  

"Mom, I think I did the wrong thing.  My best friend is happy, but I'm so sad."

I drove over and visited with the girl's mom.  
She said The Scribe has been leaving her daughter out.  "My daughter expects loyalty from a friend.  She wants someone who will be as loyal as she is."  

"But I don't see anything wrong with being friends with everyone.  I'm sorry if she left your daughter out, but . . . "  I didn't know what else to say, so I left after that.  To me, The Scribe is as loyal as they come.  Maybe she had been leaving the little girl out, and I would talk to her about that, but I didn't see a problem with her having other friends too.

The Scribe sobbed on and off.  I took her to get her nails done and they turned out beautifully.  I'm still so proud she saved all that money by picking dandelion.


Right as we were about to drive from the nail salon, my cell rang.

"It's my best friend," The Scribe piped.  "Now we'll be friends forever."  She answered the phone and put it on speaker.  "Hello?"

"Hi," the girl said in a monotone.  "Ummm . . . I've been thinking.  I know you told everyone you can't be friends with them anymore, but this isn't working."

"What are you talking about?" The Scribe asked.  Her fake nails looked amazing holding the phone.  She suddenly looked so old, but I couldn't focus on that.  I was about ready to rip my phone in half.  It was bad enough that her best friend gave her an ultimatum, but now this?  

The best friend continued.  "I don't know how to say this, but we can't be friends anymore.  You're not popular like you used to be."

I almost growled.  Well gosh, I wonder why she wasn't popular, that girl told her to de-friend the world!  My arm suddenly snaked out and grabbed the phone.  "Hello!  This is Elisa, the mother!  I'm SOOO SORRY! BUT MY DAUGHTER NEEDS TO GO!  HAVE A FLIPPIN' GREAT DAY!"  I slammed the phone shut and you should have seen The Scribe's face.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"Because I'm tired of it.  You don't deserve a friend like that."

"But she was my last friend."

"Everything will be okay.  We'll work something out.  Even if we have to visit some people and tell them you're sorry, we'll work this out."

So, that's what we did.  We called and visited.  We apologized and laughed, and I'm pretty sure by the end of it The Scribe learned an amazing lesson and she got all of her friends back except her best one.

"Mom," she said as we drove home, "maybe you were right about that baby story.  A good friend wants good things for other people."

I nodded.

"Maybe that's why my teacher didn't flip out about the story.  I forgot, but she told me to tell you, it was a great anal-gee."

I smiled.  "You mean analogy?"

She nodded and I felt much better about the whole thing.  The Scribe had her important friends back and her teacher didn't think I was a psycho.     

Have you ever had something like this happen to you or your kid?  
I keep wondering if kids are becoming more mean as time goes on.  Sometimes being a parent is really difficult, but I guess we just have to do the best we can.


  1. about a flashback...I think every kid goes through this stage in their life when they realize a friend is NOT really destined to be their friend :-)

  2. You did the right thing. And kids nowadays are much meaner than before.
    I'm 18 and I am still in sort of the same situation. I don't consider myself as the "cool" or "popular" one, but people like hanging out with me, cause they say I'm fun and loyal and nice. And I have these two friends... If I spend more time with one of them, the other feels offended and says OH, SO SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND NOW... and I think it's so pathetic to say that...I don't belong to anyone, and I have no best friend... but I still haven't figured how to get myself out of this situation.

    As for Scribe, I can tell that you are such a good mom :) and your advices are golden! ;)

    P.S. Her nails look so cute :)


  3. Jeff-
    I feel like raising kids is one big flashback for me lately. LOL!

    That would be so hard to have two close friends like that.
    You are awesome and they're lucky to have you as a friend. You're such a positive and happy person ;)

  4. Poor Scribe, what an awful time to go through. I'm not sure why so many girls have to be so mean and catty. Aargh!

    Good post! (And great nails!)

  5. Don't frett this is just the beginning. A parent lives through constant flashbacks and paybacks. You are doing a great job all we really can do is be there for them. I wouldn't live those years again for anything! Her nails are really cute, that should count for something :)

  6. Thank you, Heather and Siv.
    They did do a great job on her nails. She's so proud of them. :0)

  7. I don't have any kids, but I definitely went through this when I was younger. I had "friends" who thought I had to obey their every command, even if that meant I had to forget about my TRUE friends! I sure hope everything works out for the Scribe. I feel for her. If I had been you, I would have yelled at that little girl. No one would get away with calling my phone and talking to my little girl that way! Hell to the NO!

  8. Aww Scribe sounds really lovely! And you are such a good mum! I would have no idea what to do in that situation and I guess getting drunk doesn't work at that age...lucky I don't have children I guess!

  9. Girls. Sigh. They can be sooo mean to each other, and then tragedy strikes. I have lived through the tears, the angst, the reconciliation over and over. So glad you & Scribe were able to get on track.
    p.s. I would rather teach a classroom of boys than one-half a classroom of girls. They are so dramatic and needy. But I love them anyway.

  10. Scribe's nails are awesome! I am glad that things have worked out. My big little girl has been begging me to let her use the money in her piggy bank for nails ever since she saw the Scribe's! All in good time, my girl is still too young for me to let her do that. Maybe some of the stick-on ones will be good for her though.

  11. lol well done. It's a never ending battle. You tell them things they ignore it then they realize you were right, most times it's to late to undo the damage. I'm glad it worked out well for her. Tell her I said those nails look fantastic and I'm a bit jealous. Maybe I should come pick dandelions for you. lol

  12. The nails do look great! Good for her!
    I think the best we can do is to teach them how to understand that good friends don't tell you who you can or can't be friends with nor will a true friend talk badly about another one of your friends. Good friends want to see you grow and be happy.

    My favorite song from the scouts:
    "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold"

  13. I am surprised how mean little girls can be. Em has had a few girls say some rude things - and I have been shocked. I just do my best to reassure her and tell her that being a nice and kind person is much more important than any popularity contest. :)