Sunday, December 9, 2012

That's bullsh*t: But the Truth Will Set You Free.

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Now, for today's post!
The Zombie Elf recently got several toys from Melynda at Crazy World.  She gave him rescue heroes: firefighters, space rangers, policemen, construction workers, all the characters from YMCA and much more!
    Well, my four-year-old zombie played with those toys for hours. I thought it was cute how the Zombie dubbed the construction worker as the leader, probably since Cade--his daddy--works construction. 
    I peeked around the corner when the toys got into a big fight with each other.
    The Zombie held them up, saying different things like, "No. No! The bad guy's over there."  "I know, he's hurting the Barbies." Or.  "You're wrong, he's after the My Little Ponies!"  
    "No . . . it's you," the Zombie finally said for a low-voiced toy--the menacing blue ninja.  "You've been after the My Little Ponies this whole time, Construction Guy. You already smacked all the Barbies and stole their dream car!"
    The Zombie grabbed the construction guy and made him lumber forward. "Stop it, Blue Ninja," the construction guy said. "That's BULLSHIT!"
    I paused.  Did the Zombie really swear?  And why had he used MY line?  Don't answer that.  So yesterday I told Cade that he swears too much because now the kids are grabbing construction toys and saying a bunch of B.S.  
    "I don't swear too much.  DAMN it!" Cade said, thoughtfully.
    "And that just proves it."  I giggled.  (Please remember this is my honest point of view, completely unbiased, sweet, kind and wonderful like all good mothers POV's are!)
    "But I'm not the one who says, 'That's bullshit'.  Elisa, that's something you say."
    He'd put me in a tough spot.  I thought of my potty mouth.  I don't swear a lot, just when I'm really mad, tired, or awake.  I yawned widely, exaggerating to buy time, then turned to Cade, batted my lashes and said, "Dear, swearing Cade.  The Zombie picked up a CONSTRUCTION WORKER and said the swear word!  YOU'RE a construction worker.  The Zombie didn't pick up House Wife Barbie and say, 'Damn it all!' He picked up a construction worker like you!"
    "And you're comparing yourself to House Wife Barbie?"
    "If the shoe fits.  Why what toy would you compare me to?"
    He shook his head because apparently he couldn't think of something that wouldn't be misconstrued.  "Well, da--ng it," Cade said.  "I'll try better."
    "I hope so."  I kissed him on the cheek.  "That bullshit needs to stop."    

   Today is day 9 of remembering being homeless in Hawaii.  My memory for today is that the Truth will always set you free.
    In closing:  If you could be any toy, what would you want to be?
    I'd want to be Rainbow Brite.