Thursday, December 6, 2012

I Met Santa AND He Endorsed My Book!

    I went to the signing at the University of Utah last night. It was amazing.  I even saw Santa!
    As I gazed at him, across the way, I remembered what a religious girl once told me.  "You know how 'live' spells 'evil' backwards?  And lived spells devil?" she asked.
    I thought about it. "Yeah."
    "Well," she whispered. "Santa is taking all of the glory from Jesus on Christmas. That's why you can rearrange the letters in Santa . . . to spell SATAN!" She nodded seriously. "Anagrams tell all."
    I nearly choked, laughing so hard.  "You're kidding, right?"
    "Absolutely not.  Haven't you realized WORDS have power?  The word is living and active--like a two-edged sword. Hebrews 4:12!  Think about the Bible Code AND the hidden meanings of anagrams!  Think about it--you can also spell 'cult' from Santa Claus."
    That conversation happened in high school. I've thought it was hilarious--for years.  I have to admit though, while watching children cry as Santa held them, I remembered the power of anagrams.  
    But the Santa at the U of U signing seemed nice enough--smiling and ho hoing at strangers.
    When the crowds at the signing died down, I redid my hair, told myself to be brave, and went to meet Santa.
    "Hello, Santa," I said meekly.  
    "Hello?  Ummm . . ."  He looked at me like I was nine thousand years old.  "What would you like for Christmas?"
    "A book endorsement--from Santa," I said, holding up The Sword of Senack.  "Everyone knows you. If I got a picture with you holding my book, well that would make my night."
    I handed him the book, but that wasn't good enough.  "Come and sit on my lap," he said and I blushed.
    Have you heard that song "Santa Baby?"  THAT man gets around.  Plus, isn't it sinful to sit on Santa's lap when you're over the age of twelve?
    But I did it anyway.  And as I sat there, he asked about my book.
    "This looks interesting.  What age range is it for?" he asked.  Apparently Santa is really into consumerism--and after years of gift-giving, it makes sense.
    I smiled at him, trying not to kill his leg with my bony butt.  "It's a middle grade fantasy."
    "Perfect!  I have grandkids."
STOP Right there!
    Santa has grandkids?  Isn't that comparable to Hell freezing over?  Maybe the Mayans had it right.  The world is ending right before Christmas.  This year suddenly feels like Narnia--always winter and never Christmas.
    Anyway, Santa endorsed my book.  See.
    He was super nice.  AND I got to feel like a kid again.         
     
  
   Since today is day 6 of remembering Hawaii, here's my memory for today: 
    I met a homeless man named Skipper.  He was amazing and life-changing.  At first, I'm ashamed to say, all I noticed was his appearanceBut as time passed, I realized how wonderful he was.  His kindness changed my point of view forever.
    A word from his name is Piper--which fits since he whistled tunes for tips on the street.  Huh--maybe there is something to this anagram stuff!