Monday, February 27, 2012

A Famous Woman Named Melynda

    Something VERY exciting is happening on Thursday and I need your help.  Here's what I'm talking about in case you forgot:
If You Love Melynda READ THIS
    Melynda is having eye surgery again on Friday. She has no idea that the book she worked on--before going blind--will be published this Thursday. I can't wait to give her a copy and surprise her. I'm really hoping this will help cheer her up.
    If you'd like to write a guest post to advertise her book on Thursday, that would be wonderful!
    Here's the cover and the goodreads link to include:
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 Fishducky, Joshua (from Vive le Nerd) and I have worked our butts off to get this done by March 1st!  And now it's ready--YAHOO!  100% of the profit will go to help Melynda.
    I sure hope she'll be thrilled.
    On another note, we're still potty training over here.  Doctor Jones is doing great, but it's pretty tiring.  So, instead of writing a new post, I decided to share one of my favorites about Melynda from last year.  Here it is:

A Famous Woman Named Melynda

    This post is about an awesome woman that I know. Her name is actually Melynda. She's quite famous. If you'd like to dispute this, then take a step back and answer a few questions. Do you know of this, Melynda that I'm writing of? Does she have people that stalk her life, the very words of her existence? Do you know what she looks like? If you answered "yes" to at least one of these questions (but no more than three) then you just proved that she's famous.
    The point is that Melynda is MY neighbor. She lives next to MY house. When she borrows sugar, it is from ME! I love this lady, and I'll never forget the first day I met her.
    So, my name is Elisa "The Neighbor," and this is MY story.
    We live in a very religious state. People don't drink coffee here. People don't swear. People don't drink beer. People don't hang out ON SUNDAYS! Can you tell this is a soft spot for me? Hell, there's a church on every other block. These people don't even drive to church. Sure it's saving gas, but it's killing me!
    Well, if you haven't guessed, I'm not one of those religious people. I think they're nice and dandy, but I'm not part of their clan. Neither is the guy who lives directly across from me, to the east. Every Sunday he puts his sprinklers on full blast because he's figured that people won't walk by his house if he has his sprinklers on. He approached me one day. "You're not religious?" he said.
    "Nope." I wondered how he'd guessed. Maybe it was the bud light in my right hand.
    "Well, the way I figure it, if you turn your sprinklers on all day Sunday, then those do-gooders will have to walk in the middle of the street." He rubbed his hands together in a evil genius sort of way.
    "Ummm. I'm not sure I can do that."
    "'Cause you're chicken! Or maybe you're just as much of a do-gooder as the rest of 'em."
    His words stung. I didn't want to be a chicken. I didn't even know if I wanted to be a do-gooder. But that Sunday, I decided to make my choice. After all I've always despised people who can't make up their minds.
    I pulled up a lawn chair, set it on my porch and watched as the religious people skipped by. They looked so happy in their Sunday best, until the guy across the street turned his sprinklers on. He didn't just have them going. He'd wait until someone walked past and then WHAM! he'd squirt them something terrible.
    I sat wondering if they'd walk on my side of the street. But I drank cola from a beer can. (It was well before noon--too early to drink real beer.)  I got crusties from judgemental folks AND all I drank was pepsi!  Anyway, as I sat there, I realized that people were walking in the middle of the street instead of by my house or the one next to mine.  Sure I drank a fake beer, but why were they avoiding the house to the north as well? 
    I looked and my eyes nearly fell from my face. The tannest, most fashionably-dressed woman was gardening in A TANK TOP! She was really gorgeous, with spunky hair and a smile that matched. She had the best yard in the world and I couldn't help but grin when I saw her because tank tops are rare around here. I liked her spirit and thought Hell, if I can sport fake beer, I can wear spaghetti straps on a Sunday too!
    A religious woman walked with her husband in the street. His eyes kept darting to my tan neighbor and her perfect yard. Well, the woman didn't appreciate it and she kept tugging him closer to the sprinklers across the street. The whole thing made me giggle because my innocent neighbor had no idea what had gone on around her.
    So, that was the first day I saw Melynda. I even waved, with a fake beer in my hand and a smile painted on my face. She tipped her hat and nodded. I never would have guessed that I'd just met someone who would change my life for the best, someone who'd I'd be friends with forever.

    I love Melynda--she's amazing no matter what she's going through. Plus, I'm so thankful to know someone who's famous!
                                                       Sincerely,
                                                     E (The Neighbor)