Little Red Men With Pitchforks (Guest Blogger)

Hello this is Cade, Elisa's husband. She is sick with the flu, so she asked me if I would guest blog for her today. I wrote this story about twenty years ago. It's something I'd imagine would be in the comic section of a newspaper. Hope you enjoy it. 

       Little Red Men With Pitchforks

By: Cade

The little men in red pajamas ran around, scattering as I moved, sometimes poking me in the bottom with their glowing, red-hot pitch forks.  They stung like welding torches, lighting my clothes on fire.  As they poked at me, they herded me past red brimstone walls, toward a distant cliff. 

I tried kicking them, but they just got back up and poked me in the bottom again.  So, I ran as fast as I could until I came to the edge of the cliff.
 

As I turned, I saw one of them extending his pitchfork and charging right at me, so I moved to the side.  He ran right off the cliff.

"Wahoo," he screamed as he fell into the boiling lava at the bottom.  Poof!  He disappeared into a column of black smoke.

The others continued using their red-hot pitchforks to push me off the cliff.  I grabbed a pitchfork (ouch!) and flung another one off.  Poof!  Another column of black smoke.

Suddenly, as I looked away from the cliff, I saw two little red men pop out of different holes in the brimstone wall, bouncing on their little red bottoms.

"I wonder if they were the ones I saw go poof?" I thought.  "Maybe that's the way I can get around these little devils."

They kept poking at me, so I jumped off.  As I fell, I watched the lava come closer to my feet.  I felt the heat as it burned me up from head to toe, every little inch by every little inch.  Then, everything went numb.  Poof!

All of the sudden I swirled in a red, yellow and white tunnel, moving like a roller-coaster.  Pop!  Instantly, I fell from one of the holes in the brimstone walls and bounced on my little red bottom.  I looked down and saw I wore red pajamas and held a red-hot pitchfork!

"So that's where they come from," I exclaimed to myself.  "Oh well."  I joined the little red men, poking the giant man who was running from us.