Friday, June 4, 2021

The Throes of a Dryer

In what many are calling a possible murder/suicide/homicide/tragedy ... my favorite Victoria Secret bra died in the dryer early this morning. Literally ripped strap from strap—leaving padding strewn amidst fading, damp towels—the remains were nearly unidentifiable.  

It has been said, and I quote, "The deceased was dearly loved, unforgettable. Able to bolster—even in the darkest of times."

Authorities on the matter have yet to decide the exact cause of death, although "failure to read a label" is one of the likelihoods under review. 

Others were slightly injured—i. e. my flippin' dryer—although workers (myself included) have reported no worries of lasting injuries. 

Survived by two implants.

Can we please take a moment of silence to pause for a damn bra—that cost more than my life is worth on some days!

Thank you!
*Heading to Walmart to buy a cheaper bra that can withstand being in the throes of a dryer!


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