Sunday, June 20, 2021

Generosity for Generosity’s Sake

We often need God’s grace the most when we’re experiencing the hardest times. As I watched men clearing out our fallen tree, I went inside momentarily to keep from bawling. It’s just that...people have been so kind!

We’ve struggled through some crazy things lately—and stage four cancer just compounds it all. When water damaged our basement’s carpet, a tree fell down, I experienced stage 3 liver failure, and our A/C stopped working, I REALLY didn’t know what we would do. 

I made jokes about it, (‘cause why not?), and Mike and I even had a photo shoot in the fallen tree “jungle.” But things felt hopeless when the doctor told me remission isn’t currently an option and that although my cancer isn’t progressing, the tumors in my spine and neck aren’t getting better. 

This IS actually good news—yet, a Herculean task. It means we’ll start infusion treatments again in three weeks, but I might have them for the rest of my life. Not only is this expensive, painful, and debilitating—it’s the price I must pay to see my children grow up. When I’m not feeling nauseous (or throwing up), I’m taking medications that completely knock me out just so I can keep food down. In short, it’s my new normal...and that NEEDS to be okay. (I know other people have it much worse than I do. But for just a moment, this reality felt insurmountable.) 

At the age of 38, I have stage 4 cancer that isn’t going anywhere.... It’s way better than a sudden death—but it is weird basically knowing how I’ll die. We went from a two-year life expectancy to more.... The point is, they just don’t know.

We’ve been dealt some rough hands, and just when I think we’ll lose the game, we get a wildcard!🃏♣️♥️♠️♦️

Last week, I honestly felt tired beyond words. Then a friend from high school gave us enough money to replace our flooring! My brother and nephew helped us fix the A/C in our house. One of my AMAZING cousins and several friends gave us enough funds that I can continue traveling and getting treatments—and everything is currently paid for!!!

I’m crying as I write this because I can’t believe how extremely—exceedingly—kind people are: people who don’t expect anything in return!

After the men cleared out the tree, our good friends stayed to talk with us as we ate a dinner they’d brought over. I learned that one of the men came to help because his son beat cancer. Another man was a stranger to everyone! He simply showed up because he heard about our situation from a friend (of a friend).

And so everything just came together. It’s been really hard needing help, but seeing everyone’s kindness has truly changed my life. Other people deserve this so much more than I do, but I’m beyond grateful for everything.

Cancer has been one of the worst things that’s ever happened to me, yet, this love I’ve felt from nearly everyone, well, it’s one of the best. 

Thanks for all of the generosity and support. YOU have changed my life. Somehow a hard situation has become surmountable. Thank you...for being my miracle.


  1. Hugs, love and prayers for you. May you beat these obstacles and live long, healthy and share the same love with your loved ones. I understand how difficult this is for you and thousand thoughts that accompany you every moment, that questions your state, your sufferings but I hope, you get the healing you deserve, for how beautiful as a person you are. ❤️

  2. Love and prayers are always with you as you are amazing and so strong