Friday, February 23, 2018

A Miracle--When I Needed It Most

Yesterday, after getting a hysterectomy, I was in pretty rough shape. Imagine my surprise when I discovered THE GOLDEN SKY had made it on Amazon's *Top Ten List for Women's Memoir* (screenshot below).  

    This hasn't happened in over 2 years--and only lasted 24 hours--BUT if it could've happened any day...yesterday I needed it most.

    Long story short, this happened because of how kind so many people have been to me (people like you).  It's extremely humbling....   

    I just wanted to say thank you for your kindness, sage advice, support, and love. Writing memoir isn't easy.... LIFE isn't easy...but moments like this make the battle worth it. I have the best friends and family in the whole damn world.  Thank God for good moments that happen right when we need them.
 

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Thursday, February 22, 2018

What should you do before a serious surgery?


What should you do after finding out you need a serious surgery?

1- Visit Goodwill
2- Find the best dress seven dollars can buy
3- Wear it to work on the last day you’ll have a uterus
4- Do not (under any circumstances) cry like a freakin’ baby; there will be time for that—and hormoneslater

I LOVE my uterus dress! Time to laugh to keep from crying.



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Seriously though,  I had my surgery today, and I’m amazed with how great I’m already feeling. Pretty wild when the pain after a surgery is actually less than the pain leading up to it. 

Signing Off,
A New Woman!

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Living a Legacy: Do You Have a Mentor?

A couple of days ago, as I talked with a dear friend, she noted that I sound so much like my mentor, and that I've learned so much in recent months.   
 
Hearing her words, I couldn’t help remembering when I was 15, taking fiddle lessons from Jim Sharp.  Although he didn’t teach me for an extended period, we immediately meshed and I learned my technique and style from him.  Last year, while playing in Ogden, UT, a man stopped me and said, “You sound like Jimmy Sharp.  Did you ever know him?”

    “He taught me,” I said.

    The man got a bit teary-eyed and whispered, “It’s amazing.”

    “What is?” I asked.

    “To hear his legacy live on through you.  He passed away, but his music lives on.”

    “He changed the way I play,” I said.  “In a way, he changed my life.”


   Long story short, I'm reflecting on how incredibly grateful I am for all the people who've selflessly invested in me.  I have grown tremedously in recent months, and as I sit here thinking about how amazingly blessed I am--I’m overwhelmed with wonder.  
   Looking back, many people have molded and bettered who I am.  I'm grateful to embody their legacies--and hopeful that someday I'll do the same for someone else.

    Life is an amazing journey; it should be practiced with arms wide open. 

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Newest Release, A STRANGER'S KINDNESS, FREE 2/20-21

The following eBook will be 
FREE from 2/19/18 - 2/21/18! 


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FREE eBook download HERE
"Love can carry us through all of this. It doesn't age. Its back doesn't go out. It doesn't get arthritis, or need a motor. It doesn't lose its hearing or become forgetful. It is what keeps on when the years get late and our hair is grey. It's what can heal and buoy us through anything. I want to be old with you, yes, but I want to feel young with you forever."
      I finished reading the words and found myself speechless. I was a single mother, yet this selfless bachelor had come into my life, and he had literally changed everything. I'd never known a love like this.

Monday, February 19, 2018

3 FREE eBooks for 3 Whole Days -- Presidents' Day Sale

The following 3 eBooks will be 
FREE from 2/19/18 - 2/21/18! 


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FREE eBook download HERE
"Love can carry us through all of this. It doesn't age. Its back doesn't go out. It doesn't get arthritis, or need a motor. It doesn't lose its hearing or become forgetful. It is what keeps on when the years get late and our hair is grey. It's what can heal and buoy us through anything. I want to be old with you, yes, but I want to feel young with you forever."
      I finished reading the words and found myself speechless. I was a single mother, yet this selfless bachelor had come into my life, and he had literally changed everything. I'd never known a love like this.


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FREE eBook download HERE
In this middle grade fantasy, Aliya Fisher knows nothing about her true heritage until a vindictive sorceress kidnaps her brother and sister. The young adventurer must take up her birthright, battle strange creatures, and find the Sword of Senack if she hopes to best the witch. But even if Aliya finds the famed weapon and survives the perilous oceanic journey, the enchantress is far more than she appears. How does one defeat an immortal who lusts for revenge?



I hope Zeke's memory will always remain dear to those who loved him in life--and now through his story, even after death.

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FREE eBook download HERE

The night I met Cade I never would’ve thought that two years later, after we were homeless street musicians in Hawaii, we would have a little girl and another baby on the way. Our son was born with the type of birth defects that make televangelists cringe. As his health waned, my own breath evaded me, like I was the one who needed the ventilator—the life support. The “death home” gave him a really nice funeral, the kind I’d never wished to attend. When they tried closing his casket, I nearly fell on my face, not wanting them to shut the lid on my baby.

We lost it after that, totally cemented in our grief. Cade got into drugs, joined a rock and roll band, and even grew out his damn hair. At the time, I was sick of “the oatmeal option” (the only food we had), so I kicked Cade out of the house, and started modeling and working as a diesel mechanic. That was how I met Earl, an old man and unlikely best friend; the “big sag,” a middle aged woman who still flashed folks, and "The Cowboy" a man who fell in love with me.

It was slow at first, but Cade reverted to the man I’d busked with years before. It wasn’t until I killed a rogue skunk, and my daughter nearly choked on a fry, that I gave my husband another chance. But could our marriage recover from the death of our son?

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Are People Honest in Interviews?

A friend and I talked about management and questions we ask in interviews. "People are never honest," she said.  "I doubt anyone really is--not when they WANT the job."
    "I would be," I ventured.
    "Fine," she said.  "But I doubt it.  Ask me one of your questions and I'll show you why they aren't honest....  Honesty makes people look bad." She flashed her business-like smile and laughed. "Ask me and then I'll ask you."
    "Fine, BUT you have to be completely honest."
    "Fine."
    "What's your biggest regret?" I asked, sipping my Arnold Palmer.
    "Oh, crap," she said.  "Okay, that I don't have enough time with my husband to do the things we love--wildlife photography. Skiing.  Mountain biking.  See THAT is not what an employer wants to hear."  She sipped her margarita and smiled triumphantly.  "They want to hear that you're a perfectionist.  That you follow-through too much....   You," she pointed, half intoxicated, "what's your biggest regret."
    "Wait," I realized afterward.  "I don't want to answer, not honestly...."
    "Elisa, you played this game."
    "I don't think you want to hear it--not the honest answer.  Some people have been through so much...an honest answer is uncalled for." I took another swig of my drink.  
    "Be honest. I can handle it."
    But could I?
    I breathed so deeply, knowing this would be tough.  "My baby boy was so sick...  Some people told me I shouldn't take him off of life support--others said I should.  In the end, I made the decision after talking with the medical staff because I knew what was right for my son....  He suffocated in my damn arms, struggling to breathe.  He'd been pulled from life support and after that, there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save him.  It took forever, him breathing slower and slower...."  Tears filled my eyes and I set my drink down.  "But that's not what I regret. I gave him a chance to live.  And when I knew he was suffering and wouldn't get better, that's when I let him go."  
    She said it so quietly.  "So what do you regret, Elisa?"
    "How I started listening to people around me after that.  I had some family members at the time who thought I shouldn't have let him go.  I started having dreams that I was a murderer; that I had killed my son.  That I couldn't find him anywhere because he was supposed to be alive."
    "They didn't know what you'd been through, not exactly."  
    "They didn't understand that freeing my son from pain, would bind me to it for the rest of my life...."
    My friend had stopped drinking her margarita.  She held my hand.  "Oh God, Elisa.  I'm so sorry."
    "There's a book out about my son who died.  A lady left a terrible review of it the other day, saying I should have let my son die right after he was born."
    "Well that was a bit harsh," my friend said.
    "Most people say I shouldn't have let him go.  And here was someone with a completely different opinion.  It was actually good to read in a way."
    "You know you did the right thing for your little boy.  I know you did--because I know YOU."
    The air felt so thick around us, heavy with grief.
    "Maybe you're right about the interview question thing.  I wouldn't say this in an interview."
    We both smiled sadly.  She held up her margarita and I held up my Arnold Palmer. "To no regrets," she said.
    "Agreed."
    Our glasses clinked and for some reason, I didn't feel quite so sad anymore.  A friend who can share in the good and bad times--now that's someone very special.


I hope Zeke's memory will always remain dear to those who loved him in life--and now through his story, even after death.  I really just want his story to be shared....   If interested, I'm giving his story (eBook) away from 2/19/18 - 2/21/18 HERE

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I'm so grateful for all of the wonderful people who have helped me stay strong.  It's hard writing memoir and putting myself out there.  

All that remains is love, but right now that's hard to remember.

This broke my heart completely and I need advice....

Over a decade ago I fought for my little boy’s life and was devastated beyond words when he died. I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now after reading a review where a reader wrote that I selfishly kept my son alive too long....  Some people don’t understand the pain they can cause and how it can multiply past hurts.  Sometimes when reviewing a memoir, people are actually reviewing the person, their past, and their choices.

Quote from Goodreads review: ...but she really is a selfish, narcissistic woman. Obviously, “she would trade places with her baby”. I am sure that in two days she would be begging to let her die. Who on her sound mind stubbornly wants to prolong the life of a dying baby...
Extracted 2/18/18, Goodreads, written 3/29/17.


No, this wasn’t a physical injury, but I’m devastated regardless.

I fought so hard for my little boy. And even after he passed—I have fought to share his memory because somehow it makes me feel like he didn’t die...at least not really...that I can go into another freakin’ room and maybe he’ll be there waiting for me.  As if waking from a bad dream, a terrible nightmare that doesn’t exist—I'll realize it’s okay. But this woman has reminded me that it’s not okay.

In the end, all that remains is love, but right now I’m struggling to remember that.

I loved my little boy—still do—with every part of my soul.   It’s heartless to judge someone because they fought to keep their child alive....


I hope Zeke's memory will always remain dear to those who loved him in life--and now through his story, even after death.  

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I'm so grateful for all of the wonderful people who have helped me stay strong.  It's hard writing memoir and putting myself out there.  I practically pried open my own ribs and now everyone can see my insides, crap and all....  It's really just a quest to accept who I truly am: strengths, weaknesseseverything.