Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Viking's Daughter

So, the whole point of vacation (for me) was to prove that I'm a Viking.  If you read my post yesterday, you already know that Viking blood runs through my father's veins.  Sure we can't exactly pull out a microscope and prove it, but the fact remains that a doctor told him so, and when a doctor says something . . . it could practically be used in a religious document.

I can here the groaning of your voice and see the rolling of your eye (just the left one.)  That's why I'm going to plead my case.  Since you obviously don't believe me, here's a picture of my father:

Okay, this isn't really him and "no" I'm not claiming to be the offspring of an illustration.  I'm just saying, this is EXACTLY what my father would look like . . . if he had a beard.  If he had a winged hat. If he . . . wore a dress AND had boots.  If he had a slightly different nose (his is much more Viking-ish.)  If all those things happened, this picture would be a spitting image of my father.
But above all these "facts," I know my father is a Viking because he passed the greatest test of all--the test of water! 

It happened five years ago . . .

My mother and father decided to go on an eight hour whale watching expedition.  The sky looked clear, deceptively clear.  They both bravely stepped from the dock.  Their hair blew in the wind since both of them have blond hair which hangs to their shoulders.  I know they smiled at each other as they met the crew of the vessel.

"Me name's Sven," the captain said.

My mom said something like, "Wow, Sven . . . is that Norse?"

"Why, yes.  Yes it is, me hearty.  I like to be imagining that I be of Viking blood."

Ummm . . . just for the record I don't know what the captain's name really was, if you haven't noticed, this isn't the precise conversation they had, but it was something close.  Plus I just know his name was Sven or Thorstein, or something! 

So "Sven" led them to the forward of the vessel.  The ship began its course through minty waters and perfect wind.  It wasn't until they were hours away from shore, that the sky crumpled on itself.  The dark clouds ate the white ones, then burst with lightning, hail and rain.  It was a scary moment, a time the Viking's loved because it made them shine brighter than the sun.  That's why my dad and Sven reveled in the moment.  Everyone else worried if the boat would sink.  Some of the crewmen cried into the rain.  Another man wished that Jonah was aboard so he could throw him into the ocean and save the day.  But no matter what anyone thought about or what anyone did, they couldn't stop the storm or run away from it.

Things got so rocky and so terrible, everyone grabbed a bucket (everyone but my dad and Sven.)  My mother, all of the crewmen, they all suffered from a nausea so great it would have appalled captain Ahab. 

God looked down from the clouds at that moment.  I know He smiled because he saw my father and Captain Sven.  Sven turned to my father, "We be Vikings."

"Why do you say that?" my father asked in his gruff voice.

"Because, only true Vikings don't get sick when they be in storms the likes of this one."

I know my father ruffled with pride.  The doctor had been right; my father is a Viking!  The captain gave my dad free beer after that.  They drank and drank until they bested a storm Poseidon wouldn't have survived.

So, my father is a Viking and I know the best way to prove Viking blood is by taking the test of water--not getting sick on a boat.  I hungered to go on that cruise.  The whole time we visited Disney World, I awaited the time when we'd embark on the magical voyage and I could prove my Viking blood.

The whole thing grew in anticipation.  Would I be a Viking, a true Viking?  I called my brother and told him about the test of water.  "Well," he said.  "Out of everyone in the family, you do look the most like a Viking."

I smiled.  I love that guy.  He's better than green eggs and ham.  He's the best brother in the world and he thought I looked like a Viking!

The moment came, the morning we'd drive to the boat.  But right before we left our fancy hotel, I turned green and threw up.  Was it some sick joke?  I wasn't even on the boat and I was already seasick--maybe it proved I'm the furthest thing from a Viking.  I'm the kind of person who gets seasick before they even get on the boat!

Cade got me a hot washcloth.  "You don't look so good," he said.

"Ummm . . . Thanks.  But I can't be sick already!  We're leaving to go on the ship in two hours.  What's going on?"

"I don't know," Cade said.  "But my guess is that you have food poisoning."

I sighed sadly.  "You've got to be kidding.  But today I take the test of water."

"The test of what?"

"It's the day I find out if I get seasick or not."

"Oh," Cade said.  "Well, I already know you're a Viking."

That meant a lot, but the fact remained that I was feeling very sick and I didn't like the idea of riding on a bus for over an hour before we got to the boat.

I stood straight and decided I could make it!  I'd be a Viking.  I'd be the best Viking ever.  I'd look Norse AND fight nausea!  We grabbed our day bags and got ready to journey toward the ship. I glanced at myself in the mirror one last time before we left.  Even though I'd promised to be tough, I still looked awfully green.  Would I pass the test of water, or had I already failed?  I straightened once again.  I couldn't fail; Vikings don't fail.  I'd pass the test of water or die trying!


  1. Ah but did you pass? lol I bet you did! I totally agree. That could be a picture of your dad all decked out in Viking wear! lol

  2. yay for vikings! our school mascot was a viking :) thanks for stopping by my blog! we love new followers :)

  3. yeah, I bet you passed it! :) You seem like a real Viking, cause you never give up. :D :)

  4. Ya know Elisa, I hate to break it to you, but I'm not so sure that "looking" like a viking is exactly a compliment. "Being as tough" as a viking is, but from what the movies tell me, viking women aren't very pretty. I would give your brother a nice slug in the shoulder for that one :)

  5. Ya, she passed. With flying colors. Crying kids, nauseated, sinus infection, motion sickness (bus then boat), and she still kept her composure while boarding the ship, for about 3 hours. Then we finally got to our room on the ship and she was able to rest. Endurance "far and beyond" vikings if u ask me =P

  6. LOL! Looking like a Viking . . . I didn't think of it that way *giggles*

    You're so sweet. I love you!