My Interview with The Hippie

The Hippie 
(my six-year-old)

"Can you still punch a bee out of the air?" I asked.
"Yes, I know ancient karate, " The Hippie replied.

Would you like to visit an evil witch if you could?
Yes, so I could kill her

How?
By doing ancient karate on her

Do you believe in magic?

Yes because I've seen people do magic before.  For reals!


What's it like living with your mom knowing she blogs about you?
Yes, 'cause I like hearing what she writes about me

Yes?  Was it a yes or no question?
Yes.

What's your favorite color?
Aqua

What's your favorite hobby?

Drawing ducks, people, outfits for my mom to make me

Really?
For reals

Where do goldfish go when they get flushed down the toilet?

To the drain

Where do the drains go?
To the center of the Earth

What's at the center of the Earth?
Hot lava, water, dinosaurs and the dead fish that went down the drains

What are stars made out of?

Hot gas

Like the kind stinkers are made from?
NO!  Gross, MOM!  Like really, really, bright hot lava

When does a person become an adult?
When they're twenty


Why twenty?
Because that's super old

What will you do when you're twenty?
Be an artist and a karate teacher like Uncle Shane.  I'll teach people how to punch bees so they'll stop stinging kids.  'Cept real karate people know it's only good to punch bees when they're after you.  You don't punch the nice ones!

If you could change one rule that your family has, what would it be?
I'd never get grounded again.

If you could be grounded from one thing, what would you pick?
Doing my chores

What is something that makes you special?
That my family loves me and I love them too.

Of all the things you know, what will be the most useful when you grow up?
Karate


Are you a good friend?
Yes because I'm nice and I let people be the leader in Follow The Leader.  I also let people win races sometimes, so I'm not always first


How would the world be different if animals could talk?
It would be different 'cause animals could talk.

Well, what would they say?

A dolphin might ask me to jump in the water

Would you jump?
Of course.

Would you cheat on a test if you knew you wouldn't get caught?
No because that's cheating!  And I might get caught anyway.


If you could grow up to be famous, what would you want to be famous for?
Karate teaching!

Would there be any more bees in the world?
Just the nice ones, but no wasps.  Wasps aren't nice to people.

If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
Peek on The Scribe when she's writing private stuff . . . like her blog.

What would you do if she wrote about a prank she wants to pull on you?
I would steal the paper and set a trap so The Scribe would get hit with a bucket of water!  The whole floor will be booby trapped!  

Why would you do that?

Because once she put a whole bunch of hair clips on my floor and I stepped on them!

Who invented you?
God, 'cause He makes all the good inventions.


What is the best gift you have ever given?
Love because it's wonderful


What is the hardest thing about being a kid?
I have to do chores.

I thought you'd say bees.
Why would I say bees?  I can punch them; that's easy!


If you were a teacher and the kids in your class would not listen, what would you do?
I'd make them write a note to their parents.  If they kept being bad, I'd send them to a volcano.

A volcano?
Yeah, just without the lava bursting out


Where is your favorite place in the world?
Well, it's not a volcano.  It's Goblin Valley. 


If you could give one gift to every single child in the world, what gift would you give?
Love because it's wonderfull with two l's


If you could travel back in time three years and visit your younger self, what advice would you give yourself?
I'd tell myself how pretty I was


What five words do you think most describe you?
Pretty, lovely, fun, nice and sweet


If you could invent something that would make life easier for people, what would you invent?
A Karate School

When was a time that you felt lucky?
When my grandparents asked if they could take us on a cruise 


What do you think would be the hardest thing about being blind?
I would always bonk into stuff and I might fall down the stairs

 If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what rule would you make?
You'd have to love your whole family.

What if some of your family were bad?
You'd still have to love them.

Why?
Because you should love your own family anyway.  Love is awesome.  That's what Jesus would do.