Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'm so happy, I could pee my pants!

I've decided to self-publish my journal. It's been a long debate I've had with myself--there's nothing like internal debates--but now that the time is here I'm really excited about my book. It's taken years to edit the thing because it's painful for me to read.  It's almost taken as many years to discover the name and cover art. I never thought the day would come, but it's finally here. I think Zeke's final tribute is falling into place.  I won't actually publish it for another year, but I'll give out advance copies for reviews soon.  So, if anyone is interested let me know!

I still remember when I re-read my journal.  It had been years since Zeke died.  I still needed healing, and found hope among my own words.  It's the story of how I lost my son, but found myself.  After his ashes fell among the fabric of this world, I still had a family who'd support me in their quirkiness, a man who'd never stopped loving me, and a God who would never leave me.

Here's the cover I've decided on:


Cade's holding Zeke's statue in the picture.  It's funny though because this picture makes it look easy.  In real life Cade was saying, "It's heavy.  It's heavy.  Take the picture."

But my camera wouldn't click.  I pushed the button over and over until Cade struggled to keep Zeke's statue in the air.  Some of the people driving by probably thought we were nuts!  Maybe like the day I posed on the Toilet . . . The picture for my book did turn out great regardless, since my camera finally went off at the right moment.  Cade said it felt really neat holding Zeke like that, like it was a symbol of how we gave him back to God.

I thought you might get  kick out of why this statue is so important to us.  Here's a excerpt from my journal:

The ex-stripper visited my house this afternoon. She said she kept feeling like she should give me a statue. I saw the statue and was speechless because it looks just like Zeke. Its ears are a little different from each other and I wondered what type of sculptor would purposely create something so imperfect yet beautiful.
Apparently, the ex-stripper is closely connected with the Almighty. I thought about asking her to pray for my dad, but changed my mind fast and said, “My son died last year and this is exactly what he looked like.” I stared at the statue again. It's of a little baby who's sitting down with a bird resting in his lap.
“He must have been a beautiful little boy,” she said and gave me a hug. I saw that she cried, pretty sober at that moment. I thanked God for thinking about both of us even though she used to strip and I had a kid with defects. I'm so glad she gave me the statue. I'll keep it forever!
“Wow, this must have cost a fortune!” I said.
“More than you know. I made good money stripping.”
“Really, was it worth it?” I asked because I was curious and had lost all common courtesy.
“No, not at all,” she said, then left me alone with the statue of Zeke.


  1. The cover design is beautiful, Elisabeth. Very serious, and the contrast between the living flesh of the arm and the grey stone of the statue is heartbreakingly good. I wish you all the luck in the world with your new venture.

  2. I thought your blog today was very heartwarming but still bittersweet. The symbolism in the statue is very interesting. Sometimes things in life can look so easy on the outside but the burden is extremely heavy to the bearer.
    Jesus did say "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
    At times in my life I have "STOOD ON HIS WORD" and He has brought me through to the other side, only stronger.

  3. IT is beautiful. I can't wait to read it. I am so glad to know that you are deep rooted in your Savior and your family.

  4. Precious, funny, and heart-rendering--all at the same time. I look forward to the book. The cover is perfect. God Bless.

  5. thanks for stopping by and following me! :)

    I'm following you back now!

  6. I awarded you The Stylish Blogger Award

  7. It wasnt that heavy =P lol

  8. Thanks for your sweet comments :)

    Debra- I love #3 on your facts list. Thanks for the award ;)

    And Cade . . . as for you . . . aren't you a toughie LOL! I LOVE you ;)

  9. Cade?! Is that really Mary, disguised as Cade? She's a tricky one.

  10. I like how it fits with the excerpt. I forgot about that. Who you publishing through?

  11. Beautiful. Cover and exerpt both.

  12. Your a champ and I think you are possibly the best neighbor in the world.

  13. Elisabeth,
    First of all thank you for the sweet comment about my guest blogger George. He is a dear friend of mine and I love having him as my first guest. Secondly thank you for the follow and I am now gladly following you. And lastly, I have no award to give, but if I did it would be to you my new friend. Your except made me cry and laugh. I cannot immagine losing a child (I only have one, she's 30, and one granddaughter who is 18 mo) so the pain you must have been in when you wrote those words must have been incomprehsive. Thank you for your heart and I look forward to buying and reading your book.
    All my best!
    PS did you get a chance to read any other posts? I think you would like "Holding Daddy's Hand Forever" (my memorial tribute to my Daddy who died in January) and "Do you see the puzzle" (about God's amazing ability to make things happen EXACTLY when they are suppose to). Thanks for reading!

  14. Janiece-
    Thank you so much. Reading your comment blessed me so much ;)
    I just read Daddy's Hand Forever. That's such a beautiful post!

  15. Love the cover... good luck with it all xoxo

  16. Beautiful cover! Can't wait to read it :)

  17. Kristin and SamanthaMarch 5, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Love the cover!!!!