Impervious to Hardship

 I’m becoming a villain.

After my diagnosis, Mike once said, “This is like seeing Snow White get cancer.” But I’m not staying innocent and sweet like I used to be. Nope! In fact, there’s a saying that “if I don’t die soon, I’ll live long enough to become a villain.” I’ve never seen that so plainly as I do today. 

The phone rang, and when I answered music played before a robotic voice said, “This is Idaho Power. Please stay on the phone. A representative will be with you shortly.”

The music started again, and after a moment, a man came on the phone. “It shows here that you’re late on your payment. Unfortunately we’ll be shutting off your services tonight unless you can settle this over the phone.”

“But, I just paid. We’re up to date.”

“It looks like you paid SOME of the balance but not the total amount.”

“Wait, that doesn’t make—“

“You owe $80.03.” He paused.

“We budget everything. This isn’t right.” I sighed. Good grief—maybe it WAS right. And it suddenly seemed as if I shouldered the problems of the whole world. “It’s just that I have stage four cancer, and we’re going through sooo much. I can’t believe we’re late on this bill!” Then for some stupid reason I started crying. “I’m so sorry. It’s just really tough right now.”

“It’s okay. Ma’am, I completely understand, and we’re here for you. Let me transfer you to the payment center so your power doesn’t get shut off—on top of everything else you’re facing.”

“Okay. Yeah.”

So he transferred me. Another representative answered. And even though those jerks knew that I have cancer, they still tried to steal $1,500 after I turned into A COMPLETE IDIOT and gave them my credit card info. 

Luckily my bank caught it a few hours later—since it was an “overseas purchase.” But after my bank called, I sat stunned. How can people be like this?!

“We’re trying to recover the funds,” the woman said. “And we’ll reverse the overdraw fees from a few other things that hit after this transaction.”

“How can people do this? I have cancer—and I told him all about my problems. And he still tried to steal money from me. I know cancer doesn’t make me impervious to other crap, but I’m still just shocked.”

“People suck,” the banker said.

“Yeah, some people do,” I said—TRULY acknowledging this for the first time in my life. 

Later, at the store, a lady in front of me asked why I “walk weird.” In my head I ACTUALLY called her the “B” word.

Later, I sat wondering, am I becoming a villain?! Since when did I start calling little old ladies b—witches in my head? And when did I start wallowing in the fact that some people suck?

So, I decided to force myself to find the good. Sure, this used to happen naturally all of the time, but now when I think terrible things, I’m gonna just FORCE myself to find the good. 

Anyway here are five good things about this situation:

1. I met a genuine Captain Jack Sparrow kind of thief! I live in Idaho—I don’t meet many career criminals.

2. My money is being recovered. Whaaa??? My credit union—is amazing!

3. I learned how to NOT be a dumba$$.

4. Now, I can appreciate being positive even more. Why? Because I get to work for it.

5. I met someone in the store who made me feel really strong emotions. THAT, my friends, means I’m still alive.

So, while this wasn’t the feel-good post you wanted, it is a reminder that sometimes there are crappy people, but you don’t need to let them “get you down.” Sometimes you should just work to find the good. Trust me: It’s worth it.