Saturday, January 26, 2013

Twenty-ager Crisis! And Asking a Favor.

I'm almost thirty years old . . . I had one hope--to gain 100 book ratings on Goodreads.  I'm at 97!--almost there.  If you've read my book(s) and haven't left a rating on Goodreads yet, would you HERE?  I'm so close to my thirtieth-year goal ;) 

Also, I'm sure most of you know about Slam Dunks and his very thought-provoking blog.  Some of his weekly topics include:

--Missing Person Monday

--You-Tube Video of the Week

--Officer Dummkopf

If you know him, you'll understand how thrilled I was after he read Bible Girl AND related it to an actual case!

You can see that post here: Reading Bible Girl... and Relating It to the Brianna Maitland case

If you haven't read Slam's blog before, you should.  It's one of the best out there! 

Now, about turning thirty . . .

Yes, my birthday is on groundhog's day. I can't wait to look for my shadow.  But I also can't wait to turn thirty!
    Confused? Let me explain.
    On my birthday two years ago, a friend called and said how sad it is that I'm not thirty yet.
    "Why?" I asked.
    "Because women in their thirties appreciate life so much more than women in their twenties. In fact, if you have kids when you're over thirty you appreciate them even more. Plus sex is better in your thirties."

    I'll turn thirty next week  Maybe a light bulb will suddenly turn on in my head and light will shine from my nostrils. I'll finally be able to sing the alphabet backwards; I'll do that front-handspring I never mastered as a kid and my husband will be a very happy man. There's just one problem, a week can be a long time to wait.

    So, like a bull being taunted by a man in tights, I'm actually excited to get older. When you turn thirty angels sing. You lose that extra pound you've been hiding in your butt, and your boobs get bigger than a fourth grader's. At least that's what it sounds like--but I don't really know. I'm just an uncool twenty-ager--the crap age.         
    I'm not a teenager (thank God for that, they keep looking younger and younger) but I'm not in my thirties yet either. I must admit I'm a little scared though. I already appreciate things so much since Zeke died, if I become more appreciative I might explode with gratefulness.

Here's my awesome list for why I want to be really old--at least 90.


*** If in a hostage situation I'll get released first. 

*** If I grow nose hairs I won't have to pluck them because everyone expects old people to have nose hairs. 

*** When people are mean, I can poke them with my violin bow and call it an accident. 

*** Sexual harassment charges won't stick. 

*** No one will expect me to be the hero, I'll get to be the victim who needs saving--for once. 

*** My husband is gonna look sexy as a bald old man. 

*** There will be nothing left to learn the hard way. 

*** I won't have to worry about anything wearing out, I can just take it to the grave. 

*** My birth certificate will say "expired."

*** Gravity will be my worst enemy and my only friend. 

*** I won't have to sleep with my teeth anymore. 

*** I can say, "I remember when gasoline was less than a dollar, Sunny." And my dyed purple hair will glisten beautifully. 

*** I'll have a clear conscience and no memory. 

*** And finally, my kids can put me in a home for awesomely nutty people. My roomies will tell me stories I can write in my blog and we'll get to eat hospital food all day long.

What do you think, is life better after you turn thirty???


  1. I LOVED this!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *throws confetti in the air*

    PS. I'd love to have you be part of my shenanigans, but I need your email address. :)

  2. i love your list...

    good day! i am new in blogging, i hope you could help me gain friends in this society... :)

    just followed you... here's my blog...

  3. Your blog is awesome ;) I'm following you as well.

  4. Thank you! Same here, promising blog and i'm loving all the humor... really like your list why you want to be old... :D

  5. happy bird day *wink wink*

    thanks for visiting my blog and i love your blog style, very light and easy :D

  6. Read at Nikon Sniper that it's your birthday and had to come and say Happy Day to you! And because you are so adorable... that I am following along (wish I could be follower number 28 for your day rather than 26...oh well!). Tell your friend not to two years you will be thirty and until will enjoy everyone of the 365 + 365 days to go!!
    Blessings for a great year!
    PS Stop by my blog - I'd love to have you along!

  7. Thanks for following! I'm following back now :)

  8. Funny, good posts, and now I finally see that you've vowed to do this every day! Are you finding it a struggle? I'm impressed....

  9. You're all sooo sweet ;) Thanks.

    This will be busy, but fun. I normally spend this time working on my manuscripts, but it will be fun to finally write down all the silly things that happen to me. I'm a outrageous-moment magnet. ;) Hopefully my kids will appreciate these stories someday.

  10. Elisabeth: Thanks for stopping by my blog. It is nice to meet you. Your site is terrific, and I am now your newest follower. I invite you to join my blog as well.

    Happy Birthday, and yes, life is much better after thirty!

  11. Well my dear sweet neighbor..I adore you. I had such a blast hangin out with you on your birthday. Yes and no to the better after 30 question. And what extra pound? There is no extra meat on you darlin. But you are the funniest kindest person I know. Stay that way and 30's a breeze.You are def better than quiche. I love your blog

  12. Better than quiche, there's no such thing LOL! Thanks, woman ;) You're such a good friend. I had a ball.

  13. ...and you can wear elastic-waist pants without guilt! Happy 30th!

  14. Turns out 30 is just a number. ;)

  15. I am in my 30s and I do find them very freeing! The 20s were great, but the 30s are awesome, too! :)

  16. You are a youngun'. I do like getting older, and I believe that it is because with age comes wisdom. You learn what is important, and what to let go of. It is what it is. I refer you to the poem, "Warning", by Jenny Joseph. It is my favourite. It will be me soon. Just sayin'.

  17. Is life better after 30 hmmmmmmmmm well since I am well past 30 and love my life I would have to say it is, the older we get the more we appreicate getting older since not getting olde would mean we are dead and who wants to be dead.......not me thank you very much I want to grow old really old..........but I still want to have my mind and know what is going on around me and who people are........

  18. Life is definitely better after 30. I mean I think it is. Oh ok, I am have trouble remember much about before 30 to compare it to, so perhaps I am not the one to ask...

    Thanks for the plug and I hope you are well over a 100 now Elisa.