Elisa said that I could post more often if I wanted to. I told her I was worried I’d run out of ideas. For instance, I don’t know what to write about today.
I guess I could tell you about my dad. He was one of the nicest people EVER. He would do anything for anybody. He lived in L.A., but if someone asked him for a ride home (to San Francisco) I have no doubt he would’ve said yes. If his doctor told him he’d have to amputate his head, Daddy would probably have asked, “When would that be convenient for you?” When he wanted to tell you about a movie he’d seen, you learned to get comfortable. If it was an MGM film, he’d start with, “First the lion came out & roared.” I hosted a yoga class in our garage at the beach. I didn’t want to be there because my dad was in a coma & dying in the hospital, about an hour & a half away. I wanted to be able to get to the hospital quickly. Bud said I needed the mental relaxation yoga would bring & convinced me to go. After the exercises, our instructor would have us clear our minds & totally relax. I swear I had an out of body experience. I found myself in his hospital room. He sat up & VERY sternly said, “What are you doing here? You need to be at yoga—you worry too much. I’ll be fine!” I learned later that that was about the time he died.
No, that wouldn’t work.
Maybe something lighter would do it. I regularly spill food on myself when I eat. My granddaughter, from about the age of 2, could eat soup without spilling a drop. She probably got that from her mother. My friend was president of a group that had yearly fundraising luncheons in the Beverly Wilshire Hotel’s (remember “Pretty Woman”?) grand ballroom for about 2,000 people. She was more like me. Messy. Depending on what she was wearing on the dais, she topped it off with either a silver or gold lame bib. I don’t think so, but is that what they mean by “pre-spotting” laundry?
That probably wouldn’t work, either.
OK, I’ll give it another shot. I told my husband that I had picked up lunch at a Jack in the Box drive-thru window & that the guy confirming my order said, “One Yumbo Yack, right?” Next time he & I went through the drive-thru window, Bud asked for two “Yumbo Yacks”—I hit him!
No, try again.
Would something scary work? We live a few blocks from Century City. The tops of the tall buildings are visible from our house. Early one evening I was looking out our front windows when suddenly I saw a HUGE fireball erupt on top of one of those buildings! I was just about to call 911 when I got distracted by an emergency with the kids. About a half hour later there was another fireball. I found out later that they were filming a scene for the Bruce Willis movie “Die Hard”. They shoot a lot of movies around here but I’ve never been scared by a filming before. They should have warned us—I bet 911 was swamped!
No.
A joke, then. I went into a bookstore & asked the saleswoman where the self-help section was. She said, “I could tell you, but that would defeat the purpose.”
Not that, either, right?
Sorry there was no post this week—I tried!----fishducky
I enjoyed all the different place you went in this post Fishducky. I thought about a lot of different things. First, your dad sounds amazing and so does your yoga experience. I think that is really cool that you got to be with your dad even though you were far away. I am one of the messiest eaters around (so is my co-author). It is nice to know there are more of us out there! The fireballs in the sky would have scared me too. How awesome that you get to have movies shot near you- but I agree that a warning would have been good that time!
ReplyDeleteIt would have been appreciated--by me & probably by 911.
DeleteAll awesome tales! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHeh I should do this more often. Novel ideas...no problem. Got enough of those to last at least 2 years. Blog posts...those keep me up at night. I wrack my brain for ideas but then just scrap them. I like your approach much better.
You make Fridays a treat, Fishducky!
I've prewritten several posts & sent them to Elisa. One of them sums up how my brain works. It's called "All of My Thoughts Are Random."
DeleteWell then I guess I'll have to wait until next Friday for your actual post ;) (hehehe, loved this!)
ReplyDeleteBe patient, Maggie.
DeleteYou saw Die Hard being filmed, that is so cool. Well at least you saw the fireball part. But never fear after that part he promised God he'd never even think about going up in a tall building again. So there will be no more rooftop fireballs from him..haha
ReplyDeleteIt WAS more fun watching Danny De Vito film on the next door lawn!
DeleteI don't have any idea what movie it was but I just remembered one line they shot over & over. It was, "Cop a feel, go to jail!"
DeleteEither had to be Twins, Tin Men or War of the Roses
DeleteWhat a lovely tribute to your Dad, I miss mine and my Mum very much.
ReplyDeleteI had the BEST parents anyone could ever hope for!
DeleteBeautifully done. However the emergency with the kids must have been fairly serious to stop you ringing 911 about an explosion and a man running around in a mucky vest.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It must have been--I can't remember.
DeleteLove the post, non-post.
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious. Love the part about "the lion roared"
ReplyDeleteHe always wanted to make sure he didn't leave out a crucial part of the story.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely LOVE this--one of my favs for sure.
ReplyDeleteFrom yoga to yumbo yaks LOL! I got chills when I read about the Yoga experience. Your dad sounds amazing.
He was!!!
DeleteSince you are studying Swedish in your "spare" time, I thought you would like to know that in Sweden you could order yumbo yaks anytime and get the correct dinner.
ReplyDeleteYUMPIN' YIMINY--I had no idea I was already so fluent in Swedish!
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, I guess it's BUD that's fluent!
DeleteZOMG, that was an amazing idea lol....will you adopt me, Fishducky? I need a new grandma and THIS TIME, I want her to have a sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteSplitter
Anytime, Splitter.............
DeleteWow what a great post here there and eveywhere you took us today I have heard that joke before and still like it, bugga I keep making typos this morning my fingers seem to have a mind of their own..............grrrr
ReplyDeleteDie Hard is one of my favourite movies.............yes I am Bruce Willis movies your dad sounds like a wonderful man and I bet you miss him every day
I find that with my mind going here, there & everywhere I hardly ever get bored. (Keep reading my posts & you'll see what I mean.)
DeleteIt's a shame you don't have ideas, ducklady.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I bet I could write if I had an idea, but we'll probably never know for sure!
DeleteI love that you visited your dad like that during yoga class. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteWhat a multileveled post, Fishducky! Loved it. :)
It was totally unexpected! My multileveled brain thanks you.
DeleteHey I finally was able to read this. So sorry it took me a while. My eyes got bad yesterday. So frustrating! Anyway I don't think you will ever run out of stories. However if you are worried about it take one of these stories and elaborate on it. Describe how you felt and what you saw and involve the senses. That will give you plenty to go on. I love you lady and I'm glad you are writing all these great stories out. Just wish I could read more often.
ReplyDeleteYou've got my number, crazy lady. Call me any time & I'll read these & anything else to you. LOVE YOU!!!!
DeleteDear fishducky,
ReplyDeleteYou'll never run out of stories. You have the marvelous ability to turn everything that happens to you into a story that shows the humor of life. You always make lemonade out of lemons--and you do so with a laugh.
That last joke made me laugh out loud! Thank you.
Peace.
I've already forwarded lots of "lemonade" to Elisa. Would you like a glass?
DeleteI like that your Dad would start the story of a movie by mentioning the lion for MGM. movies.
ReplyDeleteYoga is a good way of relaxing your mind and body. You can say in English whatever makes you feel good while doing the exercises, it works the same way as any other language. The Beatles sang one sentence in Sanskrit "Jaiy Guru Deva OM" Jaiy mean cheers, Guru means scholar, Deva means Devine being and OM is the sound of silence. For the longest time I thought that it was an English sentence that I could not understand, until I read the lyrics on Youtube.
He didn't actually say that--I took a little poetic license--but he was so thorough in his telling you'd have sworn he did!
DeleteLoved reading this! I especially like the self help comment, which makes a lot of sense actually;) Your dad sounded amazing!
ReplyDeleteI stole that from Steven Wright--I'm almost afraid to say he makes a lot of sense to me. My dad was the BEST person I ever knew!
DeleteLoved reading this! I especially like the self help comment, which makes a lot of sense actually;) Your dad sounded amazing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me smile! :)
ReplyDeleteAs I said in an interview on JENN'S blog: If I can make one person smile, or pee their pants, my day was not wasted!
DeleteYou are BRILLIANT! You'd never run out of things to talk about :) I especially enjoyed your sweet memories of your dear departed Dad. I can see where you get your lovely nature from. Also, I do think you need to write a book!!!
ReplyDelete